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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 6940. page

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When did you grow out of struggling to succeed and accepted yourself for the failure you are?
10 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>36158751
>>36158751
right about now, i give up
>>
Is it normal for your mom to deny that you're a failure? Sure I'm not dead or in jail, but I'm not happy.
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>>36158751
I started out that way and never changed

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>17 me
>At a party
>Obviously there is alcohol and shit
>Sees really attractive girl walk in
(Note: I had 0 drinks prior to seeing her so yes, she was actually hot and it wasn't the drunk me talking)
>Ask my friend about her
>Finds out shes a lowkey slut
>A beer pong game starts
>She goes "Winner of this gets a blowjob from me"
>I hear this and absolutely dominate the game
>She leads me to the bathroom where she proceeds to suck my cock
>It's going on for about 8 minutes and she says
>"Wow, you can last a long time"
>Me trying to take this a step further hits her with....
>Haha thanks I *moan* practice lot
>She starts fucking laughing so much
>She stops sucking and we begin talking, like, human conversations
>About 15 minutes pass and she realizes he blueballed me
>"Oh shit, sorry"
(Since 15 or so minutes passed, all the excitement passed, so now she had to start all over, meaning another 8+ minutes of BJ)
>She begins to suck my cock again
>10 minutes go by and I can feel it
>"I'm about to cum"
>0.2 seconds before I cum, she takes my cock out of her mouth
>With my cock being erect, it shoots straight up like a fucking rocket ship
>I was looking down the whole time she is blowing me
>I nut and end up busting in my own mouth and eye
>She starts fucking dying of laughter
(We actually became pretty close after this. We are very good friends now. It's been about a year since this happened and my friends have given me the nickname "Buster")
26 posts and 5 images submitted.
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>>36158675
nice one chad normalstein
now fuck right off
>>
>>36158675
fucking normie who do you think you are coming to r9k with such stories? you got hit in the head when you were a boy or what?
>>
>>36158675
>go on /r9k/ to talk about your pathetic sex stories
kys failed normie

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Just woke up screaming.

The dream wasn't even that scary despite me screaming my way out of it.
I was with my older brother Thomas most of the dream... he had a Dodge Dart and there were two other old muscle cars we were driving with, a blue 69 Mustang and another matte black American classic.. I think we drove from the Hemet Walmart to... Stacy's driveway. We parked at the end of it and talked. He wanted to stay with me at Peter's, but I said maybe not, but sure.
The sun was setting the whole dream and was really nice.
At some point he disappeared along with the car while we were talking.
It turned to night. I had a faint recollection of doing firewatch with mom and Jerry so the horses could safely eat overnight...
My mom died in November last year, so it's just a memory.
I looked up and saw people crossing the street down at the end of the driveway... they were shady, it was dark out but I paid it no mind. I went back to the crossbow practice I had apparently just started.
Then, as I'm reloading bolts and firing into paper targets around the driveway, two figures come walking up. It was Rudy and some dude.
Rudy was one of the tweekers that used to hang around my moms old house... shady motherfucker.
They walked up and I obviously changed my body language to say I didn't like them, but when they walked up, I waved a friendly hello.
We chatted about whatever... some questions they had about who was where. they then walked about 20 feet off into the field off the driveway where I was practicing with my crossbow.
They started a series of lights that seemed to be a signal. I couldn't see Rudy because he went behind my target in the field, so I couldn't see him, but I saw the incandescent light he set off. It was a flashlight and he flashed it twice.
It was dark out. Then more lights started going off...
>Pic related, it's the view of the house from the hill.
... comment too long, I finish it here in a sec.
12 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>36158630

It was dark out. Then more lights started going off in different patterns. It was was some kind of communication that I was extremely wary of. But I paid little mind and resumed my target practice.
Then in a similar fashion as Rudy and his friend, a woman appears at the end of the driveway. She had a dark presence.
She brought the end of my dream.
I could feel her evil, so I hastily reloaded a bolt into my bowgun and once I pieced it back together and had it hot again, I pointed at her. She was 5 feet away, but stopped walking when I pointed the sharp bolt toward her.
She sat on the barbed wire fence of the horse pasture next to the driveway. In hindsight, she should've been bothered by the wire. In reality, that fence is sharp and rusty.
She began... singing. The verses were ascending and chromatic in this mid 20s old jazz speakeasy noir style. Like a she-devil would.
This bitch was Satan, I was sure.
As she paced around me, singing words about... waking up in the middle of the night and feeling the hand on mine... "when you wake up in the night, you feel a hand-- it was me!" Saying she wanted to be my lover and we should be together, but she was evil and I knew it!
As she paced, getting closer with every step, I felt surrounded, but I held my ground.
At some point she was slyly resting on the fence and I had my back to her... she put her arm around my neck. Her skin was a beautiful shade of tropical tan brown..
I panicked and shook her off. I turned to face her and her eyes were black. Like empty voids, she had no eyes... and she scowled.
We're at the end of the driveway when she danced around me, singing this progression and words in an escalating volume. The words were about us being together forever.
...she left my sight and I lost track of her. Her singing faded quickly and I looked out in the black night lit field...
>>
>>36158724

I look out into the black night lit field.
Then suddenly she sang louder than before almost screaming the powerful notes, "THAT HAND THAT YOU FELT IT BELONGED TO ME!"
When from behind, she bit the nape of my neck with a massive gaping bite with hundreds of sharp teeth, I flew upward 50 feet and she slammed me on the pavement.
.......
I started screaming before I hit the ground. Everything fades to black as my screams got louder and louder.
I started to see the walls of my bedroom and let out one last scream to wake me up.
I was breathless.
But I was awake and safely in bed.
I glanced at the clocked, it read 02:25 in the 24 hour format.
It is 03:15 as of this sentence.
I'm scared to sleep and feel uncomfortable, as if she's still behind me, waiting to bite.
What a fucking trip
Just figured I'd post here because I don't have awake friends who give a shit anyway.
>>
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what tthe fuck

origgngalangl

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>nearly 21 year old virgin
>suffered from crippling social anxiety and depression for several years
>just recently get a motivation and confidence boost out of nowhere
>start to finally work on self improvement
>look at the news and see that Trump is gonna start ww3 for Israel

Fuck this shit man. I just wanted to live a normal happy life, and now I'm probably gonna die filled with bullsts on a cold battlefield in ukraine or the middle east. Or I will be incinerated in a nuclear fireball in my sleep. I will never get to have the normal life my parents had. I will never get to have a girlfriend, get married, have children or anything like that. All because a bunch of evil kikes want to make greater Israel. I voted for this NOT to happen. Fuck Trump and fuck this gay earth. I want to kill myself.
22 posts and 3 images submitted.
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Dont act like you are ment for something big. Trust me,you arent. You are just another soul for the meat grinder just like the rest off us.
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>>36158468
You're right, but learn how to spell you fucking mudslime.
>>
>>36158508
Maek mii

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ITT: pretending my name is famalam
14 posts and 6 images submitted.
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r9k decides on an answer
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>>36158432
6'2 red hair, green eyes, a monocle, a landing strip, stocky build
>>
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>>36158474
already disconnected
new ideas?

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Found this in my sisters room.
She's 14.
26 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>36158404
Are you doing to drink that senpai?
>>
>>36158404
>>36158417
If dubs you have to drink it opie
>>
>>36158404
time to blackmail her into fucking you

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I have work tomorrow robots, I only started a few weeks ago but I still get anxious every night before work.

Does it end? or am i stuck being a wagie forever
8 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>36158384
You need to pay your dues and work your way up. You'll have a much better job one day. You may even look forward to work. I do.
>>
>>36158384
I recommend waking up 4-5 hours before you actually have to go to work.

Use that extra time to play video games or something and prepare yourself mentally to leave. It really helped me during the peak of my social anxiety and having to attend college.
>>
>>36158679
>prepare yourself mentally to leave
If I was to do this I would never leave and if I forced myself to leave after being all comfortable in a bubble I made for myself 4-5 hours beforehand the change would hit me much harder than simply waking up and going to work

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>reach 30
>have it dawn on me that my choices moving forward are either roastie or be foreveralone.

feels batman
16 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>36158272
>be 28
>embrace alcohol and loneliness as best I can
>daydream of this girl I liked back in high school

it will never be, this pain is forever m8
>>
>29
>married a roastie
>find out about her sexual past and became disgusted
>move out without saying a word
>roastie tracks me down and forces me to confront the reality that maybe we're not right for each other but at least we can tolerate each other, and we might not love each other but it doesnt mean we can't build a family together
>begs me not to throw it away
>let her keep the ring in exchange for never speaking to me again
>>
>>36158418
why the fuck wouldn't you try and find about her sexual past before you got married? I'd do this before even any sort of relationship for anything more serious than just cummies

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This is a thread for Eastern European robots. How many of us are here?
55 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>36158237
Depends on the question.
Do I live in East Europe or is it my nationality?
>>
>>36158261
I'd rather put the criterium as living there or at least having lived.
>>
me. it sucks cause no neetbux

Oldest virgin competition

Get in here elder virgins

I'll start. 27 year old virgin here. Any virgins older than me?
14 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>36158227
18 here, I'd like not to leave the path. You're a role model, onii-chan.
>>
>>36158227
28 here

I've come to the conclusion that yes I am not attractive to women. Especially due to my short height. So why even try when I know what the majority of outcomes will be if I tired to get girls? If I can't even get one I find attractive then fuck that.
>>
>30

Same shit, makes no difference. Dating is not for ugly destitute people.

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*yawn* "Anon, can we do something else? Taking note whenever Salem, The Cat is being played by a puppet or cat in 'Sabrina, The Teenage Witch' is boring."
12 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>36158211
It's not boring you vapid cunt, it's a very important document.
>>
"Anon, you went to Japan and you only took pictures of landscapes, buildings, and animals. Why didn't you take any interesting pictures?"
>>
>>36159033
That made me angry

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Pretend you're Jason Stathams character in LockStock/Snatch

Say what he would say

That's it. Don't use his accent like an autist, but be kind of smart assy.

I've been doing it on Tinder and it's like I've unlocked some sort of easy mode. I'm happy to help my autist friends.
39 posts and 8 images submitted.
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>>36158101
Screenshots or it didn't happen.
If you can't show us, then one of the following happened:

1. You lie
2. You got unmatched because of that
>>
>>36158101
>I've been doing it on Tinder and it's like I've unlocked some sort of easy mode. I'm happy to help my autist friends.
I need some example of conversation.
>>
>>36158101
> accent
> Tinder

Fock off m8

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I have to grade assignments
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Give them all Cs
>>
Give them the D
>>
Grading is a nice opportunity to feel superior to other people.

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what are some problems with you?
heres mine
>dick is to small
>autistic
>everyone says im creepy
71 posts and 11 images submitted.
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>>36158024
My lower legs are rotated out and femurs are internally rotated Idk how to fix it
I also have a herniated disc
>>
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>lose confidence if not dressed like pic related

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dqYZS8Z5cZQ
>>
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my dick is ight but my first gf was a dick receptacle so now the only person that shows any appreciation of me also makes me wanna shoot someone every other month

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Are you a second class friend?
I am. It feels horrible.
Like, your "friends" sometimes are willing to hang out with you but not often, never message you first etc.

I dropped all contact with them a few years ago because I couldn't stand it but I started talking to them again because I can't stand the loneliness anymore, I'll go insane.
11 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>tfw your friends only kept you around every once in a while to make fun of you
>>
>>36158345
I am sorry.

In school, I had 1 friend. We were together all the time because we were both weird. We hated everybody and everybody hated us. But there was this one guy who somehow started to hang out with us and we would make fun of him and basically psychologically bully him all the time. But he still kept coming. Guess the normals treated him even worse. Imagine that, getting bullied by the losers of the school. Is that what they call an omega?

I don't know what he's doing right now, doesn't have a normiebook profile. I would like to apologize to him.
>>
>>36158523

Pretty sure he's also making fun of someone lower than him. It's an endless cycle of bullying

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