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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1823. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

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>senior year in high school
>typical loser, no real friends, virgin, spend his weekends in front of a screen
>parents gone for two weeks
>casual buddy suggests to throw a party
>"It will be make you popular and the host ALWAYS gets laid"
>"A-Alright"
>the guy invites the whole fucking school to my house, facebook event with almost 200 people invited
>"It will all be good man"
>friday night comes
>actually pretty excited, this will be my night
>already spend like 100 dollars on food and alcohol
>9pm first people arrive, it's all good
>around 15 people in my house, I'm actually having fun, listenting to music etc.
>10pm
>think it's pretty much over now and most people just decided not to go to my party
>suddenly a group of another 15 people arrive
>and another
>this goes on and at 11pm there are around 70 people in my house and garden
>people sitting and spilling stuff everywhere but at least nothings broken yet

cont
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
>>
>by midnight there are at least 100 people at the party
>people begin going upstairs, downstairs, they're in all rooms I haven't locked
>people playing beer pong inside, eating stuff from my fridge, looking at my things
>basically run around with paper towels all the time and clean after things
>maybe have like one conversation in 3 hours because I'm always in a hurry
>1am and the party is at its height, roughly 120 people here right now
>house is packed, people dancing in my fucking living room
>I've totally lost control
>too drunk to do anything about it really
>too upset to enjoy the moment
>run around the house and look after things until 4am when the last people go home
>decide to just go to bed
>wake up
>no ones there
>realize how fucking dirty my house is right now
>cups and bottles everywhere, floors and carpets spilled with shit, table and chairs broken, multiple things missing
>fuckfuckfuck
>clean up for 6 hours and the house looks somewhat ok now, still alot of shit is broken
>parents gonna kill me
>didn't talk with anyone
>didn't get laid
>still a loser but with 100 dollars less and a broken house

Don't throw a house party, anon. You will the same loser as before but your house will be trash and you'll have the disgusting feeling of people using you.
>>
>>38564940
You're supposed to pregame before your own party anon
>>
>>38564940
reminds me of an episode of meme and jewy

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>want to switch from booze to weed
>live in shit state
>robot, so not good with people
>research states on legal weed
>wtf it's shit prices
>don't want to move to hot state cal. nor washinton because they're no tourist weed
>after research learn oregon blue
>must apply for med card first
>two hundred dollars for med card
>colorado claiming that they're not even making money as overpriced as it all is
>keep hearing that the derp web is suffering to buy it from
So I should just shoot a random nigger that smells like it and hopefully he has the seeds, then, right?
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
>>
>>38564933
I didn't think you needed a med card in Oregon unless something changed since I lived there. I really wouldn't recommend moving there honestly.
>>
>>38564962
First consider the fact that I live in the super hot bog FL.

Then consider the fact that I live in Imperial.

Is any weed state actually worse to live in than here?
>>
>>38565012
Oregon rains 5-7 days a week 9 months of the year. It's just a constant grey depressing drizzle that never stops. Most people don't even bother using umbrellas it's just damp and mouldy and there's moss everywhere. There isn't shit for jobs. Renting a place is damn near impossible and Portland smells like an open sewer there's so many homeless. It's the most liberal sjw cuck state there is, unless you live outta town and like you some meth.

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what are you guys doing up so late?
I was having a beer with my cousin and believe it or not I confessed him that I really want to hire a trap and lose my virginity.

He wasn't shocked at all, he told me that I shouldn't do it because aids and that kind of stuff, then we moved on another topic.

and yeah, I realize that I spoke too much, damn it, I hope he forgets about this.
15 posts and 1 images submitted.
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he won't forget
>>
>>38564864
Why would you confess that? He probably won't ever forget it.
>>
>>38564899
>>38565073
he was drunk af, even more than me.
and to be honest we were talking about a lot of weird things, he even told me how was his first time with his first gf.

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hey nerd, please look at my face you when speak to me
7 posts and 4 images submitted.
>>
>was already looking at face
>redirect gaze to chest
>>
>>38564846
>when speak to me
I can safely say that won't be happening.
>>
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what kind of person randomly insults people? you have issues famalamdingdong

>turns 360 and kills himself

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>AVG free detects "generic malware" with some temp files
>not sure if false positive or if I will have my ID/money/life stolen

Who paranoia here?
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
>>
>>38564749
>get scared everytime i uncover my webcam
>>
>>38564749
Bruh do your banking on a live os running on a flash drive. I'm not even paranoid but that's the smart thing to do.
>>
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>>38564749
>not uninstalling all 3rd party antiviruses on Windows and using its integrated Defender
Seriously, it performs more or less the same level as most paid-only shit-protecting soft, but doesn't force you to send your shekels somewhere and see all those annoying pop-ups.

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>straight fags actually think they're in control
7 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>38564739
let them think their efforts aren't in vain. this is just the calm before the storm
>>
>>38564739
We are.

>>38564770
Oh noes all 25 of you are going to spam more which is what made everyone hate you in the first place. That's not gonna blowback on you is it?
>>
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>>38564813
Nobody cares about normie straight fags, I'm here for muh bois

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its almost like this individual who happens to be jewish has some sort of ulterior motive....

really get the neurons firing
62 posts and 15 images submitted.
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jake paul is a cringey faggot
>>
i dont know much about either guy but i've seen some videos of the beanie hat guy and they were pretty funny. it seems like his whole gimmick is to find annoying people on youtube and be exasperated with them, and from the news articles i've read about the jake paul guy he seems pretty obnoxious making him a perfect target. so its just a case of knowing what your audience wants and giving it to them.
>>
Their channel literally feeds off of people like him. Expect it to not die down until Jake Paul dies down (which doesn't seem likely in the foreseeable future).

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>did a single mother raise you?
>where you too atatched to each other and huged and kissed all the time?
>are you looking for a replacment wich you will never find?
>do you blame her for it?
8 posts and 1 images submitted.
>>
>>38564617
I do have a single mother but I still live with her. Live is hell.
>>
>>38564617
>>did a single mother raise you?
yes
>>where you too atatched to each other and huged and kissed all the time?
no, we don't touch each other
>>are you looking for a replacment wich you will never find?
no
>>do you blame her for it?
n/a
>>
no
yes
yes
no
originelli

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Hey dont want to alarm you, but I think random sequences of events that happened before are being repeatedly hinted at every new day. Say for instance you watch a movie where they wont stop talking about iodine. The very next day you turn on the tv and someone is mentioning iodine. The song on the radio is called iodine. Your family member mentions iodine.

I dont want to discourage you, but I think something is going wrong but its almost impossible to explain without sounding insane
18 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>38564542
It's called the Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon
>>
>>38564542
I would believe this but then what would you categorize all the stuff inbetween as?
>>
I'm being totally serious when I say this; I experienced the same thing and it was the beginning of a serious mental problem, peaking with a psychotic episode that left me in hospital. You're not thinking rationally right now

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>Be me
>Be 18
>Don't want a relationship, fine on my own
>Sight of couples don't bother me
>Have lots of male friends
>Jerk off every night
>Comfy.existence
>14 year old roastie lies about her age to get close to me
>Tells me shes 16
>No.jpg
>Not fucking around with younger kids, don't need to be arrested
>Still contacts me and tries to hang around me
>Develops an emotional connection with me
>Should have cut her off, but remained "friends"
>Was really wierd
>She tells me about her life
>Roastie claimed to have schizophrenia, and split personality disorder
>Named her split personality "Shadowis"
>Has a bad relationship with her family
>She sperged hard enough in public one weekend during a panic attack and ended up getting shipped to a mental treatment clinic in the next town over
>Her insane cellmate scratched her with a paperclip and she got released early and shipped to an actual hospital
>Family came and visited her
>Told her that there was going to be reforms in their house, that they're going to take her phone and computer away, and that they are taking her off her fake medication
>She gets extremely upset
>Messages everyone on Facebook that she is having a massive panic attack and might die
>Escapes hospital somehow and hides in park for a night
>Police find her
>Family has to pay 500 dollars because she was trespassing after hours in the park
>Once she gets home, she runs away again, and hides at her friend's house
>Gone for two days and a police manhunt starts
>Mom gets messages on Facebook from her autistic friends telling her how selfish/what a bad parent she is
>Once roastie is found, she is immediately sent to a different mental clinic
>That same week, her mom's boyfriend leaves her mom, because he's had enough
>Mom had been dating him for almost 4 years
>With source of income and love gone, mom attempts to commit suicide
To be continued
(Pic will be related)
40 posts and 7 images submitted.
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>>38564474
how did you meet her? In what situation do you put yourself in that 14 year old girls seek you out, because that's fucking weird.
>>
>>38564474
You don't have to have a relationship with her. But she sounds like the perfect girl to lose your virginity to. It's actually pretty normal for 14-15 year old girls to date 17-18 year old guys. All that mental problem family issues shit is pretty typical of teenage roasties. It's how sluts are born. You may as well take advantage of the opportunity while you have the chance. Just use a condom.
>>
>>38564474
Why the fuck would you even get close to a 16 year old, you realize that's against the law too right?

Why is waking up in the early morning before the sun rises (3-6) so fucking cozy? It doesn't happen often but when it does I fucking cherish it.
13 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>38564462
Fuck of original pedophile
>>
>>38564462
her cuteness is maximum
>>
I get up at 4AM every morning.

It's nice to be awake while others are asleep. It's the only time I can enjoy silence.

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CAN WE FILTER THE WORD REDDIT TO 4CHAN

WE'RE THE SAME USERS ANYWAY
11 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>38564402
I don't used Reddit anon
>>
Speak for yourself, normon
>>
>>38564402
Speak for yourself faggot. I've never had a reddit account.

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I just heard my parents talking about being disappointed in me behind my back. How did you feel when your family said that they are deeply disappointed in you?
18 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>38564400
I wanted to commit suicide.
>>
Can't say I feel that way friend my parents and in laws both seem to be proud of me on some level
>>
it's not your responsibility in life to impress them, tell them that

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I hate that I had to make this thread but you guys forced me to do it
10 posts and 1 images submitted.
>>
Please delete this thread, thanks.
>>
>>38564389
anything else we can force you to do anon?
>>
>>38564397
>Please delete this thread, thanks.
I hate that its had to come to this anon but I had to do it

My waifu. If you had her as waifu before you can't now. Thinking in lewd ways about her is strictly forbidden
16 posts and 6 images submitted.
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What, so you're saying you wouldn't deeply probe her tight, pink little asshole with your tongue?
>>
>>38564367
Zelda is pure
>>
>>38564396
Exactly. You just know her sweet little hole would be immaculate, and very sensitive.
Maybe she'd be embarrassed about how good it feels?


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