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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 6411. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

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>have 1 inch dick unerect
>never use urinals because I think people might notice how small it is
>live with parents
>have to go to a store with my dad
>we go to the restroom
>he goes to the urinal, I go to the stall
>we finish and go to the sink to wash our hands
>"anon, you're 24, don't you think it's about time to man up and stop going to the stall to take a piss?"
>I start crying and run out of the store
>i try to get in the car
>it's locked
>the car alarm goes off
>then it hits me
>I don't have the keys
>I can't even drive either
>people start staring, eventually my dad comes out
>crying even harder now
>he gets in the car and doesn't say a word to me
>I manage to stop crying
>we drive home in silence
If you don't get anxiety in public restroooms, you are a normie and you need to get the fuck off of my board
20 posts and 4 images submitted.
>1 inch dick unerect
my robro
Guess I'll just have to live with the fact that I'm a normal with a 7 inch cock
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How this make you feel human boy?
26 posts and 9 images submitted.
big bear cocks don't exist REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Isn't that kuma from tekken?
Am I being shit talked by a bear right now

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So you like boys even though you believe you're heterosexual. Well, would you ever consider being in a relationship with a pretty feminine boy?
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
I'd love to go on a date with a cute guy just to see if I could be attracted to him without the myspace angles.
But you don't have a vagina for me to stick it in
Yes, but mostly because I'm desperate to not be alone

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I smoke a lot of weed but last night I smokes a normal 2 bowls (3 needed to get me super high normally) and I suddenly about 20 minutes of being decently baked I went into a heart attack and hallucination almost fainting mode even though my mind was completely sober I couldn't see because they were glassed over with some stained glass effect

anyone else ever had something like this?
17 posts and 2 images submitted.
I think that going to the doctor to check your heart would be a good idea.

I have smoked weed many times but only in parties not daily and only small quantities. The most rare things it has made to me is the classic "I can't stop to laugh and when I realize I can't stop I get tense" or one time that it blocks me and make me feel very insecure.

But drugs effects depend much of the personality and state of mind of the specific person who takes them. You can take for examle, MDMA and feel very happy and excited but another person can feel afraid of the effect and have a bad time.
Take an english class you fucking pothead, jesus christ.
Just stop smoking weed

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>worlds biggest loser joins my discord
>ask who he is
>starts to beat around the bush and sperg out
>ban sperg
talk about autism you experience
11 posts and 3 images submitted.
whats your server fagog
>Have Discord server
>It's reserved for people who can chill out and have a good time, and discuss stuff or play games together
>It's super relaxed and sort of exclusive.
>One of our biggest rules is "just chill out". Don't take games too seriously or get upset about stuff, and just keep a positive atmosphere
>This one dude on the server literally has ADHD
>Whenever we play games, he starts screaming and being loud. People usually just mute him
>Unironically thinks saying "nigger" every word is funny.
>Can't chill the fuck out in a server specifically devoted to just hanging out and talking.
Don't be a bully.
He's just trying to amuse you. :(

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>I'm a fucking retarded hippie
>everybody says /pol/fags are bad news
>nobody wants them on the board or the site
>people post hundreds of examples of them being niggers
>My fucking retarded posts, almost verbatim:
"Sure, some of them have problems, but it's due to their living conditions and other factors. Most of them are good people, but they've been forced to live alongside bad elements, which has negatively affected them. It's our fault for not accepting more of them and forcing them into spaces that radicalize them. We're simply reaping the fruits of our own intolerance."
>mfw I actually BELIEVED that shit
>mfw I posted this fucking airheaded garbage for months on end
>my fucking face when I actually started attending a /pol/sque and asking the Imeme what I could do to HELP THE FUCKING CAUSE OF IDEOLOGICAL DIVERSITY
>he puts me in touch with a couple of thugs and we get to work shitposting and intimidating the staff
>finally, the leadership relents and relaxes GR3, allows /pol/ posters to get /r9k/ visas with a relaxed (completely eliminated) vetting process
>this old weaboo who lives next door is sitting on the stoop, reading the 4chan Daily News and crying, and I don't understand why
>instant fucking flood of illiterate, violent animals
>start hearing about crimes, hentai threads getting burnt down, traps being raped
>I go to the Imeme and ask him what the hell, he laughs in my face and has these two 5'9" giants throw me out
>every fucking thread I go into I hear barbaric "kek" and "wew lad" gibberish
>maid cafe closes its doors, violent /pol/ teenagers set up a squat in the abandoned space
>janitors won't do shit, I tip them off and they say it's a "/pol/ relations matter"
>get directed to some fucking bureaucrat in /j/ who doesn't give a fuck
>meanwhile, the jans bend over backward to prosecute anything that looks like a "hate crime" against /pol/
>make threads about it, both deleted, almost get hauled in on the 4Chan Communications Act
61 posts and 3 images submitted.
terrible post
i guess you thought this was funny or something but its not.

i guarantee i've been posting on this board longer than you've known about 4chan you dumb faggot.

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lets originally see em robots
39 posts and 29 images submitted.
You could start by posting your own.
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>believes he's intelligent
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>ive worn cargo shorts, not a fedora or trench coat

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Since you all never leaver your basement, I would like to invite you along on the hike I did this afternoon. Life is just starting to return to the forest.
47 posts and 37 images submitted.
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It was incredibly quiet today, good for collecting one's thoughts
As we going for a bear picnic or are we going to visit the fairies?
I went for a run during the day for the first time in a long time

Was pretty enjoyable. Sunny outside, warm but not overwhelmingly hot. Grass & trees returning.

And then I got shin splints so I cant do anything for a week.

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>and I just won!

where did it all go so very wrong
427 posts and 85 images submitted.
>where did it all go so very wrong

It was over from the start. He had no chance.
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quick run down on (OP)'s pic related? thanks in advance
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This pic should explain it all

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My mother wanted to go on an international trip with me and she decided on Japan. She's been asking me what I want to do. I would like to just wander around and sightsee but she prefers more structured things. This will be my first time outside of the US, so I'm a bit nervous about this.

Since Japan is popular among robots, do any of you have suggestions of what to do there?
30 posts and 2 images submitted.
tokyo tower, skytree
Try asking the international board >>>/int/
go to any small village and stay at a traditional inn. They serve the best breakfasts, and it's a completely different experience to the busy metro areas.

>go to Burger King to get 20 chicken nuggets since they have a special
>order the food
>cashier asks me what sauce I want
>tell her I want BBQ
>they take like 15 to bring my order, apparently they had to cook it on the spot
>cool I guess, it's gonna be fresher
>girl asks me again when bagging my order what sauce I want
>tell her BBQ
>since I assume she put the right sauce in don't even check
>get home
>she put fucking HONEY MUSTARD



I just wanted my BBQ sauce, man.
10 posts and 1 images submitted.
Maybe you should be a chad LOL
god r9k sucks now
OP couldnt make it more obvious he's a cancerous 2014-era twat and i bet he thinks he's a 'real robot' or something. fucking pathetic.

So, once again is Friday night and you are in your room browsing 4chan

What went wrong?
65 posts and 15 images submitted.
I think it was my mothers advice to just ask a girl out to prom.
I was a late bloomer, to be expected here
But my mom just kept saying "just ask a girl out, it cant be that bad"
Its hard to truly quantify the damage you can do to a man during his formative periods.
Because it sure as fuck didn't work out for me
Where I live its saturday morning so its not so bad. Then again I was on r9k friday night as well so it doesn't really matter
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Story time friend


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I bought an infrared thermometer. My dick is 33.7 degrees Celsius.

That is all.
19 posts and 3 images submitted.
While erect?
There's so much more information that could be gathered man
Whats the temperature of a vagina?

I wouldn't know
Good point. Hold on.

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tfw the only girl you have ever loved was born with roses in her eyes
14 posts and 6 images submitted.

jesus krist love u
Surprising that that post is original..
Holland, 1945 isn't even the best on that album.

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>"Hey anon, why exactly did you pick me as your girlfriend? You do know that I'm an older women yet you picked me over the younger more fresh girls"

What would be your response?
17 posts and 6 images submitted.
Who the fuck are you dont talk to me
and then run away
God... When I was in highschool there was this creepy teacher that had the hits for me that looked exactly like this but she was flat chested. If she had big tits, I would have let her do whatever.
I wouldn't date an older woman as a girlfriend but I would fuck one.

Same reason I don't date fatties but I would fuck one

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