Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 4140. page

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>tfw r9k finally came through and got you a gf and she's sleeping soundly next to you while you play vidya on a laptop

What's your excuse for not having an r9k gf yet, robots?

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>Tfw school switched to bagged milk in 2nd grade (like this but square)
>Tfw you could push the corners in and make them round
>Tfw I would borrow another kid's milk bag and put them on my chest and act like I had tits to tease the girls
>Tfw I would even stab the centers and squirt milk all over the place while all the boys laughed uncontrollably

Flash forward to today, I found some milk bags frozen in the break room freezer at my work. I took some out and thawed them then on the next break I did this and no one laughed. Some roastimus maximus even yelled at me for being "insensitive." Why the fuck do people have such shit senses of humor these days?

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why do i always do this
why do i always fuck up the nice things i have
whatever its too late

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>tfw no tubby bf

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>only friend I've ever kept for more than a year has been ghosting me for months
>lives on other side of the world
>friendship appears to be over until further notice

We were great friends Aden, if you still browse this board. Sure we've never spoken face to face, but you're a good guy. I guess I just wasn't destined to have companionship of any kind, even the most platonic.

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>Be me, 24 KHV,
>Somehow meet qt through a friend from high school that *made it* and still associated with me
>Through a couple nights we actually talked, not too much spaghetti even though my autism was hitting me strong
>Finally she asked me to help her study (too autistic to initiate)
>we meet up at local hipster coffee bar, things seem good
>I actually nut up and ask to meet her again for drinks at local bar
>We get drinks, hang out for a couple hours
>Walk her to her ride, after which she initiated my first kiss
>DESU felt super awkward to me, didn't know what to do, but still loved it
>TFW after she rode away she never texted me again
>TFW my first kiss was so bad it drove me future wifey away
>TFW I want to kill myself

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Hey /r9k/
how can I fix my sleep scheduled?
its fucking up my work/school, and relationships
i stay up on the internet way too late, get home from work then sleep till nighttime
now is a great example - i woke up at 11PM, and i will be up past 11Am
wat do

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4CHAN STOP FUCKING DELETING THE WHOLE TEXT I'VE BEEN WRITING FOR THE LAST TEN MINUTES WHEN THERE'S A NON ASCII CHARACTER

REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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>tfw no gf getting fertilized by horse

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For me, it's the avocado. the best fast food sandwich.

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>normie makes a degrading comment as he walks by me
>shout "fucking stupid normie loser" to him
>he turns around and starts walking back
>run away
>he turns back

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Who /skin problems/ here?
Share all skin problems that you have
>discoloration in places
>hyperpigmentation on cheeks
>nose freckles
>darker freckles throughout body
>moles on chest, back, arms and neck in the dozens.
>no acne but acne scars in various places
>other assorted blemishes
>random redness and irritation

WHY DIDNT I FUCKING WEAR SUNSCREEN EVERY DAY YEAR ROUND AS A KID!!!!!????

^if I could change one thing it would be this

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The last time I was happy was when I was visiting my parents and heard about the Oroville Dam situation. I happened to see a news story on my phone as the story was escalating. Mentioned it without thinking much, but than the news of the evacuation order came through.
I spent the next week pouring over news about the Oroville Dam situation. I learned about its architecture and the local disputes involving it's upkeep. Now, I am but a husk of my former self. Nobody even cares about the dam or me, anymore.

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I just realized I did the dumbest shit. The autism can only be explained via greentext.
>graduation party
>nervous as hell, hate attention
>guests pouring in
>do alright, have a quick chat with everyone
>talk to my cousin and her husband about my plans
>not really thinking about college, but I'm open to whatever the future holds
>cousin's husband goes, "Hey, ditching it always an option."
>for whatever reason, I completely forget what ditching means
>in context of conversation, I processed "ditching" as a career
>"Ditching?" I ask
>"Yeah."
>"Like... digging ditches?"
>husband is a smartass, nods
>cousin staring at me funny
>"Think about it."
>totally fucking lost, think my cousins are telling me to look at a future in digging ditches
>"I mean I guess that's always an option," I laugh
>get a pat on the back and weird glances as they go get food

Why am I so fucking dumb around people. I just now realized what actually happened and it's been like 6 hours.

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So my friend today DIS'd me, so I got really pissed so i broke his CORD, then he started yelling at me in pure rage, it was almost gibberish, it sounded like " b45Gf7R "

what the fuk was his problem ?