Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 11174. page

The first time I came it was over the toilet at age 12
It was not that good

>be me
>~5
>tainted by the movie industry
>exploring my body with care bears
>thinking being under covers makes me invisible
>parents ask what im doing
>don't answer, pretend to be asleep
>continued to pleasure myself with care bears until i was ~9
>care bears never smelled or looked the same again

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>11
>facebook
orig

>>34126891

I don't know. You can buy a sugar baby for $1-3K per month. So as long as you have enough money for that after taxes you have enough money.

Women won't find you attractive solely due to the fact that you make money. You actually have to pay them.

Reference: I make >200K per year and can't get a reply on any online dating site except seekingarrangement.

>>34126891
Three fiftie

>>34126941
how much sex do you get in a month from a $3k/month sugar baby?
is she less of a headache than a real gf?

Haven't fapped at all. I don't feel much different.

>>34126876

Still going strong and living very frugally too, I vowed that 2017 will be the year I cease being human.

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>>34126876
W-we were supposed to stop fapping this year?

But I'm not a shut in, I don't live with mom and my dad is DEEEEEEAAAAAAADDDDDDDD!!!!!!

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>>34126856
zero times

dont need an excuse, i just dont give a fuck

All the time but only in my head because I'm too beta to talk back to my parents.
And it's absolutely true they should be thankful and they know it. Additionally I don't smoke, drink or have any other expensive or nasty habits.

>tfw grower not shower
>tiny babbydick gets to almost 6 inches

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>>34126839
hmm I always try to hid my dick as much as possible when wearing shorts in public.... maybe I really should take some inspiration from #NexGenCrusher

>>34126839
in my experience, every girl I've been with actually believe flaccid size matters. In porn you rarely see a grower dick, so that might be a reason. But do not think much about it op, unless your peepee is actually small when erect

>>34126706
dude delete this. never reveal a robots true identity on the chan.


Bad shit will happen

>>34126844

He revealed his identity on his own.

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>>34126844
>>34126898
Yeah, it's his own fault.

i agree might go there right now and get the superior Chicken sandwich sold exclusivity in select BurgerKing Franchises

>>34126616
Burger king is for niggers and poor people

>Sweet and Sour Sauce was above average.

nigga I get extra sweet and sour just so I can scoop that shit out with my fingers and eat it all on it's own
ABOVE AVERAGE? shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit

if god would give you a positive reference would he not have also given you a gf?

hmm, maybe ask your neighbor for reference instead

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>>34126583
>Make up great professional reference
>Get a burner phone
>Put burner phone number as references number
>When number is called answer with a different voice or accent
>Tearfully explain that the reference tragically died
>"*Your name* tried his best to save him, but it wasn't possible"
>Profit

I can be a reference 4 you, if you still need one

>>34126559
y-you too, bill wilson

>>34126559

choke him and stick my fingers in his mouth

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Sorry, I'm taken by Adrien.

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>>34126555
Here you go have a gar in water

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My earbuds are arriving on tuesday instead of monday because of some stupid nigger

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>>34126555
What's on your mind, OP? I've just been relaxing today. I had pad thai for dinner, and I bought the Assassin's Creed bundle and started playing the first game.

That's cheating

origano

I lost the v card while you are still robots.
Now my new normie-life begins.

>>34126547
enjoy your aids fgt

Has more retards even moreso than /r9k/ which is a feat in itself

>>34126545

I can't believe there are real people who type things like this, read them over, and nod their head and smile before hitting send.

You can hear how nasal OP's voice is reading it. Brutal.

>>34126545
Reddit is where idiots go act smart
4chan is where idiots go to act like idiots

dirty things

boys~ <3

I don't know.

orkpork

>>34126457
IM NOT WANKING IN IT VARG IVE GOT LONG HAIR

>>34126457
I like to stand in the shower and let the water hit me as I ponder, my showers are PURE.

I only use cold water in the shower because don't deserve comfort

Photograph not relevant, correct?

People are always nice to me, people give me the benefit of the doubt, strangers always smile at me, nobody considers me to be a threatening presence, I'm always welcome in new places, it's easy to find guys who are willing to get to know/date me.

Pretty nice

>>34126434
You are not wrong. The only down side is that people don't take your seriously.