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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 251. page

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>jerk off so much I need lube and onaholes to keep things from getting too sore

Why am I cursed
7 posts and 3 images submitted.
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That's what a foreskin is for.
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>tfw no onahole to shoot my warm, sticky cummies inside
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>>39533129
I peel it back and play with it, plus it's not all that useful for the head which I play with a bit

Is that due to my size? I am about 8"

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How do your want your life story to end, robots?
>dying of alcohol poisoning after years of living on my own with minimal contact with the outside
45 posts and 6 images submitted.
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I wanna OD on crack when I'm 90. or just go in my sleep.
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>>39533060
Now. I want it to end right fucking now, or preferably for it to have ended years ago and me to realize that and fade away into nonexistence to save me the effort of actually killing myself.
>>
>disappeared from the face of the earth after years of no one knowing about me
>have a child who never knew me, who embarks on a quest to find his father, finding a roastie to love and the truth about his dad's life and death in his journey

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>sitting next to a cute girl in a bus
>when she is taking an earphones out of her purse, she accidentally touches your arm with her soft skin couple of times
>you become so calm because it feels so great like someone finally soothed your old wound which you have been suffering from all your life
44 posts and 14 images submitted.
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>third week of adult high school, arrive 40 minutes early because I take a bus from the country side and the school is in the city
>qt grill also arrives early to school about the same time as me, is there every single morning and we sit alone for 40 minutes, not saying a word
>build up courage and sit next to the qt grill who is browsing her phone/tablet
>I take out my phone and start to browse it as well, because what else can I do in such situation?
>I put my phone way
>she also puts her phone away
>should I talk to her? n-no... she probably thinks me as creep or something..
>take out my phone again and start to browse frog memes like I always do
>she also picks up her phone
>just to be sure it wasn't a coincidence, put my phone away again
>she puts her stuff away after me
>mfw don't know how to approach the qt

What did she mean by that? Does she want to talk to me? I fucking hate myself. I was going to say something nice about her glasses or ask something about homework, but I wussed out. At least I'm sitting next to her and she doesn't seem to be repulsed of me. Maybe one of these days I will have the nads to talk to her. She seems to be kinda shy and not the type of grill appreciated by normies, and just the kind of girl I like, so it's not like I have to worry about competition. But still, goddamn.
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>>39533041
it's good they fed the beast first, otherwise it would be starved for something else
>>
Wtf is that tumblr screen cap fag

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So I asked this slut on fathers day(lol) what her fathers thinks of choice of vocation.
15 posts and 6 images submitted.
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>>39533016
FTR shes Aussie, hence the terrible nigger bogan tier vocabulary.
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>>39533021
Keks were had.

>not irignla fuck you robot
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>Im studying LAW!

I dunno whats worse, her believing she can become a lawyer with having been a stripper or the fact she bit the bait this hard.

Last one. She was ugly too, had no tits.

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>tfw there probably is no afterlife
18 posts and 4 images submitted.
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good. that would just be another life to suffer in.

implying any of us here are qualified for heaven anyway
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Boy I'm glad. I just want to stop existing already.
>>
wouldn't endless happiness get mundane after a billion years anyway

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Why do news organizations cover stories on how bad life is for women when men have it worse?
8 posts and 3 images submitted.
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theinfographicofallthejewsatthenewyorktimes.jpg
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>men die too so why should we care about violence against women?

children are starving in africa so why should anyone care about the virgin epidemic you fucking cuck
>>
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>>39532992
because it's women who sit at home doing nothing but going through click bait

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>chinese Keith comes into office
>tells me his anus is sore because he lost too often at willy wars
>wants me to prescribe him so haemorrhoid creme
>give him a lethal dose of morphine instend
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>39532946
Funniest thing I've seen in. A while anon good job
>>
No, I don't care, you're on suspension.

Two fuck ups is too many, you need to take some meme theory and synthesis courses before we can allow you back in here.
>>
>>39533132
stop negging me anon

poz me instead

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ok so my parents are dieing soon and I need a way to live
>30
>no car
>not a single place within walking distance
>never had a job
>never seen a doctor ever
>I panic and lose the ability to talk when I try talking to even my parents face to face
>dropped out of highschool
>ugly
>I have long lost my ssn/birth certificate but I imagine if I really need them I can use my fingerprints

what the fuck do I do you worthless fucking normies that have ruined r9k
42 posts and 1 images submitted.
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fucking help an aspie in need out you fucking normies I have no idea how to live in the real world and I don't want to be homeless
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What are your goals? Like what do you want to do (as in normal day to day living)?
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>>39533053
Sounds like you need to learn how to live self sufficient once you inherit your parents property. Find some work online that can help supplement you while you get everything together. Learn how to grow your own food and raise some chickens m8e

What's your relationship with your mother like, /r9k/?
27 posts and 4 images submitted.
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Bumping for moms
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How can you be in good term with someone who literally brought you to a hospital, lied about the reason, and got the top of your dick skin cut against your will?
>>
I wanna fuck her, but we get along in general.

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>go to hairdresser
>he asks me what I'm doing
>to embarrassed to admit I'm neet so say I'm studying accounting
>every time I go there he now asks me about the course I'm doing
>have to spend hours researching it before i go to get my haircut otherwise he'll interrogate me and catch me out on the lie
>I never wanted to talk to him in the first place
what am I supposed to do, this is the only hairdresser for men in my town
12 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>39532782
Stop being a fag who goes to a "hair dresser" and go to a barber shop where the most communication you'll have is an old man grunting at you.
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>>39532817
It's a barber, that's what I meant
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>>39532854
Well you talk like a fag and your shit's all retarded.

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Do anons ever feel guilt? How does one never feel guilt? I feel guilt all the time for being a failure and shitty person. How do people not get bothered by their faults?
9 posts and 3 images submitted.
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Sociopath here, I dont regret shit. I do wish that I hadnt done stuff, mostly im just scared of getting in trouble.
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>>39532763
You become numb to the feeling...
>>
I don't know if I care. Maybe I do, but I think I don't. But if I do it's subconscious cause I feel like I couldn't give less of a fuck. Everything's gonna be all right in the end and that's all that matters.

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So did I do good r9k?
52 posts and 10 images submitted.
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>9k for a fragile laptop
>with an autistic sticker on it


kek
>>
u dun goofed, original
>>
You could have bought like 4 or 5 desktops with the same specs as that thing dude.
>inb4 "wanted a laptop cuz muh portability"
No neet needs to play games outside the comfort of their own home.

Black anus > white anus. Fact.
8 posts and 2 images submitted.
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whats that thing on his dick?
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>>39532716
That is an African American.
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>>39532716
Its called a condom, jeez tgese people here are neets and virgins after all

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How do I stop my room smelling like cum? I leave the windows open but the smell's still there. It pisses me off. Should I just leave them open 24/7?
15 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>39532683
Clean it? Nasty fuck
>>
Wash everything and use paper towels to clean up.

Fabreze?
>>
>>39532683
Stop using cumrags.

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This girl comes to you and offers you a bowl of monkey soup as long as you let her sit next to you and eat together.

Do you accept?
12 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>39532660
Will she have a spoon for me, or are we sharing the same spoon?
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>>39532660
No I then ask myself what I was thinking by taking so much acid
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>>39532660
>This girl comes to you and offers you a bowl of monkey soup as long as you let her sit next to you and eat together. Do you accept?
NO

>This girl comes to you and offers you Her body as long as you let her sit next to you and eat together SOPA DE MACACO. Do you accept?

Maybe.


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