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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 5209. page

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I just wanna lose my virginity, what's the cheapest way? An escort, hooker, or massage parlor?
132 posts and 32 images submitted.
Massage parlors the way to go you get a nice massage out of it to so who cares if the sex sucks.
Nice almost trips bro

Well, if you can work with condoms, any girl from Backpage will do. Backpage is trash though. Lots of fake pics, pimps, and muggings.

Massage Parlors are even cheaper if you just want a HJ.

Personally I didn't consider my vcard lost until I got BBFS+CIP (bareback full service, cum in pussy). But it is taboo to talk about in the escort community, so you have to do your research and have enough game to bring it up without alienating the girls.
>Massage Parlors are even cheaper if you just want a HJ.

No, I want the whole experience. Is it still as good/better/worst than an escort/hooker

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I'm married. I love my wife. She's my best friend, and the only person who's ever truly desired me.

I lust after an old ex. She's just a friend now, a good friend, and I get so lecherous around her that I cannot stand it. She doesn't and would never look at me in a sexual way.

27 posts and 2 images submitted.
You are not your own master.
Don't be friends with you ex, especially since you lust after her, retard.
Who is my master.

Why does it matter. Why not accept that she is and never will be mine, or even ours (my wife and mine).

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>be me
>have a gf of 6 months
>start talking to this girl at my work
>she goes out of her way to be next to me and talk to me
>she childishly tries to get my attention while I'm talking to other people
>kind of adorable, she obviously has a crush
>tell my gf about her and she says that this girl likes me
>this is the first girl that's had an irl crush on me (me and my current gf met on a dating website and she is my first gf)
>I start really talking to her
>one day she says "so I have friday off..." so I ask her to go hiking with me.
>gf then asks me what im doing friday to which I respond "hiking with coworkers"
>leading up to friday girl from work gets skiddish and isn't responding to me
>sense her flaking
>she flakes about an hour before we were supposed to meet
>get really fucking upset.
>gf asks what's wrong and I tell her that "Brittany canceled our plans"
>She response with "it was just you two? who do you think you are? maybe she canceled because she knows you have a boyfriend and she isn't a horrible person like you. Obviously something is going to happen between you two"
>she got out of my car and walked home
>Hasn't responded to any of my texts

She's the only girl whose ever cared about me lads. how do i fix this
49 posts and 9 images submitted.
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I just want to see her again lads
>maybe she canceled because she knows you have a boyfriend

Nice Freudian slip faggot. The games up.
>has a gf
>posts on r9k about how hes a horrible person
you are a horrible person

>Oh...hey roomie. Sorry, thought you'd be home later. How was your anime club thing?
37 posts and 9 images submitted.
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>tfw when I'm stuck with the black girl
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>That hairy pussy far left

Also you realize professional porn isn't something you should be basing you expectations for sex off of right?
>tfw they're using your bed

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Welcome to the feels tavern

Pull up a chair, grab a drink, and dump your feels
243 posts and 58 images submitted.
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>tfw BFF gets a young cute GF online and he's like 5f6" and I'm 5f11"
>tfw no-one to hold hands with and bear hug
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My girlfriend of three years says that she was never in love with me, and just dated me to get a stalker ex to leave her alone. The stalker ex got married yesterday, so she broke up with me today because she feels safe now.

I'm... I'm so broken. I'm so broken.
Got a story for you guys...
I've never been good with people, and I never had any friends. I'm legitimately autistic, and was in special ed for a few years during elementary school because of it. By fourth grade it was decided that I was capable of attending regular classes with minimal assistance, but the distinction of being that one special kid stuck with me, not just in how others perceived me, but in how I thought of myself. I thought it was impossible for me to make normal friends, and it became a sort of self-fulfilling prophecy. In middle school, I tried my best at talking with others, but I always came off as stalkerish and creepy, so my advances were always rejected and I ended up more and more isolated. I therefore kept to myself up through my first two years of high school, making no attempt at connecting others. I was depressed, misanthropic, and just a terrible human being. In the summer leading up to my junior year, I genuinely began to consider killing myself. I was a burden to my parents and worthless to everyone. I focused on nothing but extra schoolwork and my own bizarre obsessions, never leaving the house and studying constantly. I was bored with life, but more so, I was lonely. I managed to hold out from an heroing, and I'm so glad I did.

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Is dating exclusively Asian women the most redpilled choice?
173 posts and 26 images submitted.
everyone knows it's the most pathetically beta choice that will make you less desirable even to asian women. stop asking stupid questions
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You will only cater to the trashiest ones

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>constant stomach pain
>doctor claims its ibs (i.e. he has no fucking idea)
>pills don't work
>diet doesn't work
>can barely shit regularly

50 posts and 9 images submitted.
Welcome to the world of ethereal chronic diseases.

Enjoy your stay, because you'll never get better.
Swallow your own cum, it can soothe your digestive tract.
Are you depressed and anxious?

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What was the biggest mistake of your life, /r9k/?
>about 2 years ago
>playing vidya
>get a phone call
>ignore it
>it rings again
>i check it
>it's not a number i recognize, figure it's just some telemarketer
>it rings once more
>finally stops
>continue with my day
>next morning my dad shows up at my house
>tells me my mother passed yesterday
>ask him why he didnt tell me
>he says he wanted me to see her before she passed but I didn't return his calls
why didn't I just pick up the damn phone
34 posts and 5 images submitted.
>smoke weed
>turns out I am schizophrenic

Yeah it went all downhill from there
why haven't you killed yourself?
my mom is the only one that cared for me i will kill myself when she dies cuz i have no other reason to live just waiting so i don't give her pain
this feel is my feel

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>tfw ape tits
44 posts and 4 images submitted.
tfw no floppy tit gf
All human tits are ape tits because we are apes.
Even your mantits.
I like them, but that's only because those kind of ape tit nipples are fun to play with and rub your dick on

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>be gaybot with boyfriend
>he's losing interest because he says I'm a ditzy airhead with nothing going for me but my looks
42 posts and 12 images submitted.
you should probably be with someone who respects you, I don't understand why homosexuals can be this abusive and objectify each other so harshly, doesn't that defeat the point?
I'm too clingy and I love love love him too much, he's my whole world...
They're mentally ill, anon.

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How do I flirt?

qt coworker tries to flirt with me but I don't know how to flirt back, I need help
22 posts and 1 images submitted.
where do you work anon?

>playing their game
All she wants is your money and your attention to stroke her ego. The surefire way to flirt is to stick a pencil up their front butt
Don't flirt with coworkers. Do it on your own time.

No one on this website has work ethic worth a damn I swear.

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Why are men worldwide getting so much lonelier? Waifushit is at an all time high all over. Why aren't women experiencing the same?
21 posts and 4 images submitted.
>infinite amount of cannon fodder
>finite amount of pussy
>pussy wants chad
>cut that cannon fodder number to a small sliver
>natural selection
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>Why aren't women experiencing the same?

They are, people on /r9k/ just like to pretend that they don't so that they have something to blame.
Because 1 Chad can shepherd at least 3 women. Girls are picky in geberal, choosing an SO simply based on a list of pros and cons and comparing themselves to other women and their choice of so.

How do I self induce schizophrenia?
71 posts and 7 images submitted.
A binge of DMT, LSD and PCP for a week straight.

That should send you into psychosis
do meth,pot, and acid often
You can do it in as quick as 48-72 hours via amphetamine psychosis

you'll come back almost mostly to baseline though unless you keep it up for years on end

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Which girl in this image is objectively the most attractive?
55 posts and 11 images submitted.
Hifumi or Ohya
Blue haired + choklasss girl.
I want the goth chick to step on my neck

>one of the most beautiful women in the world was ultimately used and discarded by a man

makes you think
42 posts and 4 images submitted.
surely thats not your example of one of the most beautiful. yea she's hot would bang but got a weird maxilla
>not your example of one of the most beautiful
>doesn't know alexis ren
>An average white girl
>The most beautiful woman in the world
White girls are so fuckin standard and boring. I'll take a qt Asian, African, Arab or Indian girl over what passes as a """qt""" white girl

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