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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 837. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

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>tfw i get gayer and gayer everyday
158 posts and 38 images submitted.
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>bimbo boipussi
>all time time
i wish i had someone like that to lewd and mold me

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ITT vent about your romantic lives (or lack thereof).

Whenever I'm around this person I like (along with other people), they seem to get really physical with other females but almost never me. :(
40 posts and 6 images submitted.
>in relationship for over a year
>they leave me for bullshit reasons
>find out later on that they were notoriously cheating on me the entire time
>roommate has perfect relationship
>always rubs it in my face
>basically every interaction with them is "haha you're alone and we're not sucks to be you"
I'm either going to kill them or myself.
Wow. I'm sorry, Anon. People around you should've respected you enough to tell you something while it was going on so you wouldn't waste so much time and energy.
It's just unfair as fuck.
I was the one who was wronged and now my ex is off fucking whoever they want while I just sit alone and drink in my apartment every night because I'm a completely undesirable piece of trash.
So I guess it is fair, trash deserves a trash existence.

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I'm 5'9 and I think I would like to be 6'1.5". It's tall enough where you are taller than 95% of other white men but not so tall where doing normal things because a problem like driving, flying on an airplane, finding clothes that fit.

What do you think would be the ideal height?

According to US census information

10% of white men are taller than 6'1"
5% of white men are taller than 6'2"
115 posts and 16 images submitted.

look at this midget motherfucker and tell me you need height

90% of tall people I know are straight up shy and autistic too
I'm 6'4", and like my height
i never said men need height but i was asking what height men would like to be if they could change their height

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Your teenage bday pics, post em here if you got em

these are the only people that showed up for my party
26 posts and 5 images submitted.
holy shit

I know who you is
Nope, no you dont.
Are your initials JP?

If you order:


On your burger then you are a normie and should cease using /r9k/ immediately
68 posts and 10 images submitted.
What's wrong with wanting a fully dressed burger?
Yes I do. Grilled onions, mushrooms.

Fuck I'm a normie after all!

Goodbye forever r9k. I'm just gonna switch boards to like /mu/.

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>get girlfriend
>touch her thighs
>feels like a bunch of strings
>lay on her lap
>its nothing special
>touch her boobs
>they feel like any fat pocket
>gets way too fucking warm
>have sex
>just cum once and dont feel like having sex afterwards
>realize i didnt need a girlfriend after all

This girlfriend thing is a fucking scam, but at least I got that weight off my shoulder and can move on with my life
30 posts and 4 images submitted.
I'm really confused by this thread
>>feels like a bunch of strings
>>its nothing special
that's the autism speaking
>>they feel like any fat pocket
a fat pocket humans are biologically wired to find arousing
tl;dr autism
You should like your gf first, nigger.

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Reminder that you're not a robot unless you have a thigh gap as a male with both your knees together.
43 posts and 16 images submitted.
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Normalfats gtfo, fatties will never be robots. They are ugly and stinky like fat women too.
>They are ugly and stinky
>implying that's not a robot trait
Go away parasitic phoneposter.

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Your minimum requirements for a relationship:

1.) Female addresses me as "Master", "God", or "Owner"
2.) Female obeys all my commands
3.) Female NEVER cheats, or looks at another person with lust in her eyes
4.) Female does not nag me, start drama, or tell me what to do
5.) Female does not masturbate, or release her sexual energy in any way, unless it is with me.
6.) Female must be a virgin before we meet, and never have another partner after me
7.) Female must always ask permission before most things, she is mine after-all.

The typical interaction between me and my woman should look something like with:

>Me: What is for dinner today?
>Her: Whatever you desire Master, I live to serve you
>Me: Prepare the bed for sex, you are going to please me
>Her: Of course master! I am so excited!

>During the sex act
>Her: Oh god yes Master! Fuck me, fuck me, fuck me, please cum in me!
>Me: When I am read, calm down pet.
>Me:*Slaps her bum*
>Her: Yes my lord, I live to serve you.
>Me: Who owns you?
>Her: You do. You own my mind, body, and soul. And I will always be yours.
>Me: Of course I do. Good pet.

>Later, while cuddling, about to fall asleep
>Her: Thank you for being such a good master to me. I know I am a worthless being of darkness but you shine your light on me anyways. Without you I am nothing. I am so lucky to have you as my god!
>Me: Yes you are.
>Her: I love you!
>Me: I know.

What are your minimum requirements for a woman in a relationship with you?
39 posts and 12 images submitted.
1 not crazy
2 nice
3 able to help pay for themselves when we go out

thats literally it, im a desperate awkward femboy
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>I know I am a worthless being of darkness but you shine your light on me anyways. Without you I am nothing. I am so lucky to have you as my god!

Did this shit just turn into an RPG?
lol Instantly thought of zelda tb h

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Anyone else get pissed off by women at work keeping all guys at a distance from them because 'don't hit on me boys!'?

It's not fun working with people who won't exchange words (even just talking business) with you outside of the office. I'm not even fucking hitting on them or anything. And I'm just attractive as them.

I just want to tell them to get over themselves.
23 posts and 3 images submitted.

>Anyone else get pissed off by women at work keeping all guys at a distance from them because 'don't hit on me boys!'?

No, I'm not so emotionally childish that women at my place of work emphasizing strict professional boundaries even registers as something I should be upset about.

Contemplate the possibility that maybe their overconfidence is not the issue and that they keep a distance from you because you're super immature and have you a shitty attitude.
>strict professional boundaries
I usually avoid talking to women at work. Women who work male jobs aren't fucking worth the time of day.
They belong in health care or in the kitchen. Maybe a part time retail job for a bored mom, that's it.
It actually irritates me because there's this weird attitude at most places I've worked at where if the boss sees one of the woman workers carrying something heavy they send a man to go over to help her. I get paid the fucking same as this bitch and she gets special treatment. Fucking stupid.

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>chad fucked my girl in my bed and then took my ps4 slim
35 posts and 4 images submitted.
Going to need the full greentext mate.
you can let it go

take revenge

or let it go and get bitter
thats a normie problem sorry i don't know that feel.

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who here /doesn'tsmokemarijuana/?

I am feeling very alone in this right now.
31 posts and 3 images submitted.
I haven't recently but I should .

Some bong rips and Netflix

Same. Every time I've tried I just get super anxious and sometimes panic attacks. Everyone says I just need to be in the "right environment" but being at home listening to calming music doesn't work. I still feel awful.
Same here anon
I don't have to rely on a fucking plant

>tfw you live here
how are you holding up bros?
57 posts and 7 images submitted.
discord gg/V763CbG

the official discord
>tfw you live in upstate new york

hey dude, suh !

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>someone links me a twitter of a transgirl i used to know
>they are addicted to benzos and BLACKED themselves

23 posts and 4 images submitted.
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pic related, the blackee
link me their twitter please
tell me why you want it

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today's reddit front page
27 posts and 5 images submitted.
ffs I hate people
I mean it's gay as hell but I can understand going to gay as hell lengths to try and cope with the suicide of a loved one
He is contributing to a noble cause despite his selfish intent

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>americans don't have any sense of national identity so they replace it with mindless consumptionism, identifying themselves with things like capitalism, skin colour, political believes,
>while working you can still be eligible for welfare
>you have to pay hundreds of thousands to jewish doctors or you'll die
>highest crime rate in the world
>national cousine is fucking hamburger
>tip culture
>military spending is over 50% of state budget
>non-existant education system
>people unironically believe in stuff like creationism or flat earth

Holy fucking shit. Is USA the worst place to live?
29 posts and 6 images submitted.
Brainlets are hilarious.
I guess you cucks call it consunerism.

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