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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 843. page

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>tfw no cold, antisocial gf
21 posts and 8 images submitted.
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Tfw no cold, antisocial gf I can think about pleasing as I wait in between dates.
>>
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OFCOURSE
If you're a female its suddenly fucking cool thing and to be desired, literally a mental offset is a postiive trait, what else do you look for in a girl? dark circles under eyes? shyness? casual clothes and troubles making relationships? fuck you beta enablers
>>
It's okay I'll probably have a heart attack any day now

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I'm a celebrity and I'm going to cause a shit storm on social media in a few days. I need ideas. Something to make news outlets go livid
26 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>39302377
Say you think old people smell bad
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>>39302377
name the jew
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>>39302501
george soros isn't as obscure as he once was

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>Be proud father
>Send your son off to college
>He was never an athlete, but was reasonably social with the band and nerdy crowd
>He isn't sure about his major
>Talk to him once a month or so, send him money
>Christmas vacation
>He comes home and tells you (s)he goes by Minxie now and is a pansexual homoromantic genderfluid bottom and a feminist ethical slut.


What do?
43 posts and 9 images submitted.
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I take his ass to the Air Force recruiter.

One way or the other, he'll be happier.
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>>39302364
I'd unironically make her my slutty little princess and give her daddy's cummies

I've written erotica about this exact idea but I always get horny and masturbate one page in then never finish it
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>>39302389
>one way or the other

Are you implying you'd make her the platoon's fucktoy? That's hot as fuck. Imagine raising a son and then making her into a pretty little cum dumpster for a bunch of soldiers

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TFW your doctor puts you on ssris.

Robots get yourself to a psychiatrist. Honestly it has changed my life.
45 posts and 9 images submitted.
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>>39302242
Don't fall for this shit, boys.
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>>39302276
"Yes, psychiatrists cannot help you for depression, anxiety, or attention deficit"

Dumbass
>>
every SSRI (and even SNRI) I've tried just made me tired, lethargic as fuck, random body aches, and I would still get depressed. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. And every time I try I get stuck in the same cycle:
>go on antidepressant
>not working
>"give it 3 weeks to a month to kick in anon!"
>after a month still not working
>complain I'm always tired/lethartic
>that's a symptom of being depressed the medicine has to treat that
>medicine doesn't treat that

what the fuck. and its the same for all the different brands. I'm so frustrated because it's been this way for almost 10 years now and I want to be better so badly (and I'm going to get kicked off mummys insurance really soon so I don't have much time left) but I swear to god I'm doing everything right and its not working.

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Only a week to go until Suicide September edition
520 posts and 105 images submitted.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yy1jQ-cFaJs

whats this all about then Kev?
>>
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Tilde here, finally decided to post that face pic you've all been asking about.
>>
Hold Me Bits, I'm Off Me Tits

What are the most cringey and beta things a man can do?

Let's make a list. I'll start.

>wearing graphic tees in public after high school

I'll admit, i still have a ton of graphic tees from my teenage years, but most of them are packed away and ready to go to goodwill sometime. I had such shit taste. Transformers shirts, shitty bands, a lot of overpriced shit from hot topic. I thought it all made me so cool when i was a kid, but i wouldn't be caught dead wearing most of it today, though I will still wear my linkin park shirt if i'm mowing the lawn or something.

I see quite a few betas who still wear shit like this well into their 30s. A skelly nu-male at the bar last week was wearing a guardians of the galaxy tee, as if it made him look so le quirky or something.

Plain colored, or tastefully patterned v-necks are what gets the grills robots. Give your batman shirts or illegible black metal tees to the poor, or just wear them when you're lounging around the house fapping.
25 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>39302064
>being so insecure about your masculinity you won't wear a common type of clothing
Guess how I and everyone else can tell you're an insecure beta?
>>
>>39302064
God, how I want to punch you so hard right now.
>>
>>39302093

I like wearing what i think looks good on me, and i don't really feel like skeletons and cartoon characters look good on me. It makes me feel like a little kid.

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Robots, things can't end like this... This is just a phase, eventually we will all be happy, right?
24 posts and 5 images submitted.
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Yo I'm pretty happy, except for some small little things.

I don't wanna be the special snowflake of r9k anymore. Shits changed.
>>
When you an adult you have to fix your own problems. Even if they are caused by someone else or out side influences. Most robots are man children so they never grow up.
>>
>>39302057
I doubt it.
But no worries, we can all always kill ourselves. The key out of this miserable existence is at all of our hands.

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Who here /saves time/?

I flush the toilet halfway through pissing to expediate the process. Shaves a couple seconds off my pee-time
22 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Brushing my teeth while showering saves a little time.
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>>39302042
Yes. I do that AND shave in the shower. Fortunately, I'm a facial-hairlet so I don't have to shave every day
>>
>>39302032
I whipe my ass while shitting

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Calling all sensitive robots. Let's have a thread to separate us from the callousness and cruelty of the majority of fellow robots. Share sensie stories.

>at house party during college
>theres a kitten in the house
>only a few weeks old, still barely walking
>guys circle the kitten
>begin softly kicking it
>begin tossing it around with their feet
>kitten mewls pathetically
>too cowardly to say anything
>cry when i get home
152 posts and 53 images submitted.
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What kind of fucking party was this Jesus Christ.
>>
>>39302024
>in high school
>driving with my friends
>cat runs in front of car
>thump thump
>all my friends applause and laugh
>pull over and make someone else drive
>cry while everyone in the car sits in silence.
>>
>>39302171
Animal whackers party.
Popular among arabs.

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If she was assaulted by a negro on the street, with you as the only witness and bystander, would you intervene?

You can assume that the negro is about the same size and physical condition as you.
79 posts and 17 images submitted.
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I'd ask him if I could join in the fun.
>>
Of course I would. The nog would probably end up raping and robbing her, any sane person would do something. I mean I don't particularly like roasties but niggers are worse.
>>
>same size and physical condition
meh. there's a good chance we could kill each other.
but i have the advantage if i ambush him while his attention is on her.

i would only do it because she can't flee or defend herself, any other woman i would let it happen, then just call the cops later.

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>banned in 7 imageboards
>banned in 3 discords
>all the people i talk to ignores me and this last girl told me to burn in hell
>tfw i cant even get internet friends
how can people be so cruel. Fuck this fuck it all and why the fuck does this hurt physically

>inb4 just be yourself bro
fuck off normalfags
54 posts and 8 images submitted.
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Have you considered the possibility that you're a piece of shit?
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What is your Discord ID, Hobo Santa? I would like to get to know you. Maybe we can even be friends!
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>>39301672
Sounds like you are a horrible person and deserve everything you get. And you blame others for reacting appropriately to your terribleness.

I recommend killing yourself, just make the world a better place T B H famalam.

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To those who live in Southeast Texas, I hope you lived a good life.

RIP
45 posts and 5 images submitted.
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>>39301630
F
uck rain
Dead mexicans pls
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>>39301630
>tfw just north of houston

JUST
>>
>tfw live in Austin

I'm safe, but this city deserves to be swept away in a flood so I'm not sure how I feel about it.

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Why do people think it's okay to have children?

>Forcing another human being into existence, assuming he would want this
>Do it because "It's natural", "everyone does it", "I feel this is my meaning", "It would make me happy" or some other stupid reason
>Call him an egoist who doesn't care about the family if he says he doesn't want it in the future even though the real egoist is the parent
>Bonus points if they have a genetic illness/mental disorders they are aware of and they know their child have a high chance of inheriting it
96 posts and 12 images submitted.
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I know this as all too well. It makes me believe that they are just selfish and cannot accept what's actually better for the population in general
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>>39301470
>be one of 8 kids
>6 are girls
>three of our immediate relatives are violent paranoid schizophrenics
>this shit is genetically inherited
>two of my sisters have already popped out kids
>I now have 3 nephews
>>
>>39301470

Someone go ask their parents this and report back with the answers.

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my phenibut is coming in the mail today
what should i expect, does it really make you feel less anxious?
do any robots have experience good or bad with phenibut?
21 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>39301156
yes. takes 2 hours to kick in, try 500mg if you're serious about using it properly, don't use more than 2 or 3 times a week or you might get tolerance / withdrawals / addiction. 2 grams is probably the max dose you should take, being reasonable. I heard someone died on 10 grams
I don't really notice it much, even when I take like 2 grams. but I can sleep for 14 hours on such a dose.
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>>39301156
It made me act stupid and cringy like alcohol, but without the smell, slurring speech, or loss of balance. Would not really recommend. Tolerance builds up fast, and withdrawal doesn't feel good.
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>>39301426
>sleep 14 hrs
that's quite extreme

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>fell for the "you'll make friends in college" line
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>>39301018

>fell for the "it gets better" mem
>>
Is it community college?
then no. Everyone there is just taking the required classes before moving on to a better college or they are there because they have no real goal and still deciding on a major.

Do you have a major and you're attending a university and you have some ideas of what you want to do once you graduate?
then yes since classes are smaller and everyone there is passionate about their major and are happy to be surrounded with others who have the same passion. You will also be doing group projects together so as long as you're doing good in school you should at least be able to make one friend.
>>
>>39301085
I'm attending a university but I'm undeclared because I'm a depressed loser


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