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Why do you idiots think "roastie" is an effective insult? Women have been referring to their labia as "beef curtains" for way longer than /r9k/ has been around.
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Why can't I make new threads? For a couple days now I haven't been able to post. I just fill the captcha and hit post and it loads forever until the page says it timed out.
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>>38358957
It's not an insult. It's a fact for you whores. A men find roasties disgusting and we know that you are a whore because you have these. Those are a badge of whoredom(or sexual immorality), makes you ugly. I will never sleep with a whore and if my wife has beef curtains I will dump her right then and there. I would rather die alone then sleep with a whore and have children from a prostitute.
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>>38358957
>t. an angry roastie thinking that if she embraces her shitty genitalia it will make the insult less effective
Stay mad broken twat.
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anybody here like to GAMBA?
i buy scratch offs everyday before work. the only way i can muster the courage to start my drive in to that hellhole is the fraction of a fraction of a one percent chance that i wont have to do it ever again. its gotten so bad at this point that i will skip meals to buy lottery tickets. i feel like i'm working just to buy lottery tickets, and the false promise that comes with them.
my numbers never going to come in. i'll have to do this until i die. but at least for that 5 minutes i'm parked at the sunoco every morning i dont have to think about the day to come, or all the days after. just scratch my tickets. maybe i'll win 5 and buy another before i accept my fate again, put the key in the ignition and drive.
wish me luck tomorrow boys.
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>tfw no black gf
plz help me
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>be me, 22 year old virgin
>always have a passing interest in the occult
>this interest only increased in the past year with the election, kekism, and my growing social isolation
>buy the lesser key of solomon to study demonology
>begin to learn incantations and spells to summon spirits
>realize that I'm unironically becoming a virgin wizard
fuck boys, the memes are real. Find someone before it's too late.
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I REALLY WANT TO FAP BUT DONT AT THE SAME TIME ITS BEEN 3 DAYS FUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK I GOTTA GO TO BED I DONT HAVE TIME TO DEAL WITH THIS SHIT
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Keep fapping that much and you'll end up drying your ballsack up. I'm currently on cool down because I jacked it so much that I don't have enough jizz to keep going. I'm on Zinc supplements too.
>Haven't hung around with a friend outside of school since 1999 when I was 11
Who else /friendless/ here?
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I don't think friends exist. Not for me or anyone else
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>realize my only friend treated me like an unwanted cousin
>also it's been several years and they probably forgot I exist
I liked the delusion better
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Of everyone on this board, I feel most sorry for the people with no real friends
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*Talks to you smugly*
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>Dat hideous face
Just laugh and walk away.
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I would never be in this situation.
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what the fuck is that goblin ear
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Are you a redpilled homonationalist?
Join us today!
https://discord d0t* gg/GDxM5n
Cis only need apply
*Replace d0t with . to make the link work.
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>>38358632
Well fuck me sideways with a chainsaw that looks quite gay.
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Zamboanga
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ManiIa
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Boracay
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fungal infection on most of my nails, just end my life God
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>he imagined defeating Chad with your martial skills in front of Stacy
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>he imagined singing lead vocals as a band played his favorite song at the time in front of the entire school
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>>38502335
bonus
>he imagined singing a really popular song for the first time like he had written it
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>he imagined becoming fit and good looking after "training" once or twice
>when listening to music he imagines a story in which he is important
>when watching TV or a movie he compares himself to the protagonist and thinks what he would do in his place even though the protagonist isn't a useless fuck unlike him
>he posts all of this hoping to get (You)s
>he thinks he is funnygod, I hate myself
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How does one "have sex"? Like, how do you not look like a total idiot? From a male perspective of course.
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*shits on your carpet & barks at the middle of night for no reason*
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>>38358603
>he doesnt actually try to teach his dog anything and expects him to act like a rational human being
Do you let your dog fuck you in the ass aswell?
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who else /cyborgandwantsthesweetreleaseofdeath/ here?
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Alright anon I want you to know you're not alone, this is a common problem and everything's gonna get better because I'm here now. Who am I? I'm a professional Mommy-Breaker. I've personally liberated 43 Special Boys and reduced as many Mommies and GamGams to tears. You wanna flip the tables? Here's what you do:
1) Mommy does not subscribe to pack mentality. Throw away everything you know about Alphas and Betas, and try to think of it as you and her being on opposite ends of a see-saw. You're the Special Boy and she's the Mommy. This is about balance.
2) Over the course of days, start to mirror her behavior and patterns. Speak using her own words. Mimic her posture. Maybe even do one of the chores that she does? But only if you think you're ready.
3) Grow your hair out as long and as fast as you can, including face and pubes. Maybe shave a dog and glue it on, we need to go primal here.
4) By now the Mommy will notice something is changing. She will either retreat and become meek (good), or far more likely, she will go on the offensive to try to re-establish the status quo. This is when you need to buy a briefcase.
5) Similar to the caveman hair, the briefcase will speak to a deep, deep instinct in her. She knows a briefcase means business, and she knows body hair means a man, so therefore you are now a BUSINESS MAN. This is the tipping point.
6) Swagger into the kitchen while she's in there (again, this is a psychological battle so you need to take it to her on her home turf: the kitchen). Put one leg up on the chair and spew out a mix of simplified business terms. For example: "Me want go over quarterly reports. Me boss is prick. Work stress back pain." This should cause her to swoon with a sudden onset of millenias worth of ancestral instinct, and it's time for the coup de grace:
7) Put an empty cup on the table. Say "make me a drink." From here two things will happen
A - She makes you a drink. This is good, you have won. Congrats!
Or
B -
>cont'd
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>>38358575
Contingency B is no fun. If your Mommy is statted for quick recovery, she may smack the cup off the table and tell you to go back to your room. From here you have another decision to make:
B1: You need to retreat. Go back to your room, shave another dog, buy another briefcase and come back hairier and more business-like than ever before. Maybe paint some buffaloes on the walls of the kitchen, every bit helps.
B2) Run out the kitchen door and never come back. You bet it all and you took the fall. All men must die.
B3) This is the nuclear option and one that I CANNOT recommend in good conscience, but I have used it to great effect - but then again, I'm a pro. Here it is: put your dick on the table. Literally put your dick on the table, or as close to the table as you can get it. Upon seeing her Special Boy's no-no, the Mommy will degenerate into a squabbling puddle of bile and viscera; she will melt into a bloody puddle on the floor. Good God man, what's wrong with your dick? But hey, you won.
Follow these simple instructions and you will be free of the domineering mater in your life. But I'm not free, you owe me $500.
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Oh, I almost forgot! None of this matters if you have a father figure. He is the Alpha, and you need to pay for my 3-disc set, "How to Subdue Your Parents." I'm not going to give away the whole thing, but it involves these intriguing bits:
- Bowler hats
- A car
- Photoshop
- A fake twin
- At least 3 guns
- Taxidermy
- Mac and Cheese without the Mac
- Toe condoms
- A Thai man named Murray
- Embezzlement
- Copious amounts of lead-based paint
(You) me to order a copy for the low low price of your firstborn child!