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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 4472. page

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>tfw no pet braaaphog to playfully braap under the covers to warm our bed
9 posts and 4 images submitted.
God DAMN she's sexy
>tfw you're the braaaphog in the relationship
/braphog general/?
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Greetings, fellow lost sheep. Ofter i see anons here wondering how they should reply when someone confronts them about such a sensible and life-or-death (socially) question, so i wanted to rant a bit.
Being completely honest, it DOESN'T matter how you reply. Well, more specifically, as long as you don't act horribly awkward and keep your spaguetti in your pockets, the effect your answer will have in the final result will be pretty much neglible.
Why? Because what many people fail to see is that when someone comes and asks you (Anon are you a virgin?) it's actually a rethorical question, they already know the answer, it's not a declaration of war of sorts, it's a complete and utter defeat for your side.
The reason for this is pretty simple, as simple as the thought process of the bean sized brains of our dearly beloved normies. What is a normie? By definition, a (normal) person. This means that they have a set of values, attitudes, tastes and personalities that conform to the social mainstream.
The consequence of this is what you may call a (world-sized echo camber), which works in the basis of the affirmation of your "normality" by society, and the creation of a relationship of codependence.
Think about it: You are a (normal) person and have your views, values, personality. It just so happens that the collective of people have more or less the same views, values and personalities, because that collective is, well, normal. Your brain notes this and from the moment you join life in society this fact will keep proving itself, so it just starts working in a sort of automode.
>what i consider normal is what society considers normal, and what society considers normal is what i consider normal
Simple and effective, exactly as normie's little brain likes it.
7 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Now what i'm trying to get at. Now we know that a normie will basically apply his values of normality to everyone else. In the case of sexual experience, correspondingly, the normie will assume (everyone) else has also put a benis into a bagina. See where this is going? Exactly, if a normie goes out of his way to ask you whether you have done something (normal) that (everyone) else has done it's not a simple question, it's a quick confirmation of what he is 99 percent sure about. Ironically, more than being a desire to know the fact of your virginity, it's a last demonstration of skepticism towards the irregularity that is (you), because he is still and will always live under the impression that everyone must be made at his image, and the funniest thing is, more often than not his seemingly closed minded, retarded and obviously not true generalization will hold true, thanks to the fact that an overwhelming majority of people are part of the normie side.
So, robots, the true fight is not what comes after the question, which is a simple formality, but what comes BEFORE it. The strategy is to not give people reasons to suspect you, to keep cool and nonchalant when sexuality makes its way into the conversation, to be careful of dropping spaguetti too badly, and unless you have a decent share of unluckyness you will be safe from shitty situations. Stay alert and let yourself be the only one to be aware of your misery, you are the only one with a right to beat yourself up for being a sad and lonely sack of shit, so better keep your weakness hidden from the fucking normies.
Some one give me a Teal Deer rundown.
Underage please leave

I have never had anyone even mention the term "virgin" in real ljfe since leaving high school. People literally forget about it.

>you're in the club and this man smacks your underage child actor gf's ass

What do you do?
9 posts and 2 images submitted.
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what is this man's name? I've seen him before
Dan "hold her tighter she's a fighter" Schneider of course
Dan "cum inside 'er" Schneider

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This cat is sad. Please post pictures of sad cats.
8 posts and 8 images submitted.
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any sad cat is acceptable
I hope your cat thread dies.
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Why would you wish that friend? You probably saged so I have to bump it now, but only after I have some coffee.

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>mfw he started balding in his teens

fucking end me
10 posts and 4 images submitted.
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shave your fucking head for fucks sake
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>tfw weird shaped head
>tfw my few friends would laugh at me and tease me
Its not like you would live your life slaying pussy until you start balding in late 30s if that was the case.
Youre not a special snowflake, the vast majority of men go bald, even teens too, you just didnt notice it until you started balding yourself.

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>walk to the gym
>try to not virgin walk so I look up
>a man looks at me, gives me a thumbs up
>give him thumbs up back
>asks me how I am
>say good, ask him how we know each other since I have no idea who the fuck it is
>says he gave me a train ticket once
>I travel with public transport for free so that's bullshit
>he tells me is a man from the streets and he doesn't forgot faces
>not me
>Circular argument
>walk away
>Looking up from the ground.....not even once
Seriously don't try it robots, only bad things happen.
9 posts and 2 images submitted.
Yeah gym people are weird, I'm never going back to one.
Why didn't you just play along? He was probably just trying to be friends.

That was a basic social interaction anon, jesus christ.

>try to cure my gay
>punch own balls whenever penis goes up for gay
>hope it will learn to stay down
>tfw it never stays down
>tfw it's just learned to go up if I think about punching own balls
8 posts and 1 images submitted.
Now go find a pretty girl to punch you in the balls or step on them you faggot.
You must take the "Traps turned me gay" route except backwards
Start with traps then with girls that might as well be traps then realize flat chests are justice and not move on to tiddy monster territory
Anon is a genius

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The average American girl loses her virginity at 12,

And has had at least 6 sex partners by 18.

Why don't you?
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
Only a virgin with rage born with a whore mother would take out his anger on an image board with intent of idiotic revenge against the world.
I'm not an American girl.
source that shit

Femanon, here. Robots post your favorite song of this year.

Mine: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PMivT7MJ41M
10 posts and 3 images submitted.
>im going to take a perfectly fine music thread and ruin it right off the bat because I'm a stupid woman and therefor a raging attentionwhore


Try /soc/ or a noose you self absorbed cunt.
Shut up, virgin. She didn't do anything wrong.
>criticizing others' taste in music ehile not posting anything yourself

You are the worst.


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What do you think she meant by this guys?
7 posts and 2 images submitted.
>i want to fuck around but if my bf finds out, i have the benefit of the doubt



its just in case someone she knows sees it shes definitely fucking around

Why do white males think they can be robots, when everyone wants them?

Femanon here btw
9 posts and 2 images submitted.
maleanon here
send nudes
Greatoldoneneanon here
post dick

your average white male is like a 20 dollar bill compared to tyrone or chad who is like a freshly printed 100 dollar bill

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>there are good memes
>this is not comiccon
Isn't it about time you guys grew up and realised what you're dealing with and its not a joke?
9 posts and 3 images submitted.
The oath keepers are the good guys now?
>Isn't it about time you guys grew up
You first. Stops assuming everyone who disagrees with you is being childish.
>Those meme posters

Jesus fucking Christ

I seriously hope you guys don't do this

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REAL fembot here, wtf is with this new "femanon here" meme??
8 posts and 2 images submitted.
femanon here
how else can i get those easy (You)s from these pathetic non chads

Nothing going on today. Let's change that ZQf9ysh
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>its a rem makes another discord server that he will delete episode
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No bully, he's anice lad
>It's a total faggot has to be people to talk to him on the internet because no one can stand to be around his weeb ass irl episode

Saged and reported your /soc/ garbage

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>tfw oneitis posts a picture of her new boyfriend
Just fuck my shit up lads. Feels thread?
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
What the fuck does oneitis mean??
femanon here. its a word for qt girls like me that you will never have teehee!!
Yeah right?? You fatty perv.
And if you really were a girl you would be happy with me rubbing your tits desu.

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