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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 2037. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

The whole manlet thing is a fucking joke. I'm 6'5", 185 lbs, reasonably fit (not super muscular or anything but my cardio is great) but it doesn't mean shit, i'm autistic as fuck when it comes to chicks. Ive had 4 girlfriends, made it to second base a couple times and got the succ ONCE. That's it. I'm not even poor i've saved over 2k$ from my shitty service job.

Meanwhile, my best friend is a 5'4" puerto rican, he's a lot more toned than me and he is literally having one night stands every other night. I don't fucking get it, every girl we talk to he basically just starts making out with and brings home to fuck.

Why do people pretend like height means shit. I tower over almost anyone and chicks ignore me like paint on the wall.
4 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>38443785
You sound like you are 15. Underage b& and sage.
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>>38443785
You aren't very bright are you.
Just because YOU have other problems that lead you not to get a gf doesn't mean the manlet meme is false.

Do you think you'd be better of if in addition to your autism or whatever you're blaming for your insecurity you were ALSO 5'6?

Retard
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>>38443785
Fuck off loser. No one cares about your larping loser ass. People like you ruin r9k.

Sage

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Drugs are comfy
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>he doesn't have a cat to give him companionship
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Cats are rly funn

Let's say hypothetically that someone wishes to disappear without a trace. How would one go about this? How much cash should he/she have on hand to make it through?
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>>38443723
A boat, an ocean, a cinder block, and some rope.

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>tfw masturbated 4 or 5 times today
I WANT TO HAVE SEX. I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE.
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SEX SEX SEX GIVE ME SEX
Humans aren't supposed to spend two decades without sex. This isn't natural. I NEED SEX.
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>>38443716
please don't post pink wojak it's an occultic meme made by third parties

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>tfw sister has a tall chad bf
>tfw parents adore him
>tfw dad talks about motocycles and cars with him
>tfw mom says he is so nice
>tfw they love him more than me because im just a 19yo kv 5'6 neet failure
i feel like bullied in my own house
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>>38443687
Have you concidered killing yourself? It would be a nice punishment for them.

Tee-hee all you have to do is pop the magic pinkpill* and have your manly, gross body** into pic related guaranteed.

Then you'll finally be able to totally suck Chad's cock***!

If you can't beat em join em amirite?

START NOW

See you in an hour for another totally unbiased trap thread silly boys <3
*for 12-24 months to see results and then for life
**you need to be naturally feminine, small, and get fit
***might be over 40dudes or ultra autistic ultra beta gross robots
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This is bullshit
Just go /fit/

>tfw going on a plane to NY to visit my Chad friend and his chad brother that I've known since I was a kid.

What the hell do I do? They know I'm a KHHV dateless. I'm 18, the younger chad brother is 19 and the older chad is 21. They both have gfs and they will be hanging out with us. I'm scared what do?
4 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>38443651
I forgot to add I will be going tomorrow.
>>
1. Leave this board.
2. Leave 4chan.
3. Never come back.
4. (If step 3 fails) Don't come back for at least 3 years.
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>>38443651
maybe you'll get lucky and the plane will crash

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How are you supposed to know when a Direct Deposit has gone into your checking/savings account?

how are you supposed to know when someone has deposited money into your account?
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>>38443631
I get an email.

why do you ask my good fellow
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>>38443631

This board is for adults over the age of 18 ONLY. Have a nice day.

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>years ago
>high school
>friends house
>friend playing vidya and eating funions
>big ass labrador wants some
>friend tells it to fuck off
>dog gets behind
>puts him in a fucking headlock
>takes him down and steals the chips
>runs out
>friend furious
>frank west barrel rolls down stairs
>finds dog in kitchen
>half way done with chips
>friend loses his shit
>starts dealing hooks to dog
>dog unfazed
>dog starts mauling him
>blood and bits of flesh over tiles
>dog starts stomping on him like a scared horse
>look of no remorse on its face
>take friend to er
>gets stitched up
>blames neighborhood strays
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Why the FUCK are sexualised anime designs so hot? All I ever seem to think about these days is when my next chance to jerk it to some hentai is, or ecchi if I'm feeling desperate enough.
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Because you're a pathetic troglodyte like the rest of this board.
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>In the 1950s, Konrad Lorenz observed that birds would select brooding eggs that resembled those of their own species but which were larger, and Niko Tinbergen, following his extensive analysis of the stimulus features that elicited food-begging in the chick of the herring gull, constructed an artificial stimulus consisting of a red knitting needle with three white bands painted around it; this elicited a stronger response than an accurate three-dimensional model of the parent's head (white) and bill (yellow with a red spot).[3]

>Tinbergen and his students studied other variations of this effect. He experimented with dummy plaster eggs of various sizes and markings finding that most birds preferred ones with more exaggerated markings than their own, more saturated versions of their color, and a larger size than their own. Small songbirds which laid light blue grey-dappled eggs preferred to sit on a bright blue black polka-dotted dummy so large they slid off repeatedly. Territorial male stickleback fish would attack wooden floats with red undersides - attacking them more vigorously than invading male sticklebacks if the underside were redder.[1]
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>>38443654
really active my almonds

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Tfw you take a shit so big it snakes down the hole and still breaches the water
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>take a hard shit
>one log falls out and hurts ur bum
>kinda feels good
>stop for a moment and contemplate homosexuality
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>>38443572
hmm very interesting you could make out where it bends in the colon
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>>38443572
I shit heaps because I have a huge butthole and the poop is too wide to go neatly down the hole.
I shit really fast too so it innevitably hits the bowl instead of passing over it and down the tube.

I find myself flushing twice a lot now.

>>38443600
>tfw

I'm sick of being a loser r9k. I'm sick of watching fictional characters enjoy their lives. We all do that. Why don't we get together and go on an adventure instead of watching the lives we can never have
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We wouldn't enjoy it.
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How about the adventure of exploring your asshole white sissy boy

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>went on holiday for 10 days
>havent fappped since

should I keep going now that i'm back or just nut?

doubt I'll be getting laid any time soon anyway
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>>38443464
Nut dude it's gonna be the best nut you're gonna get for a while and holding out for more than a week doesn't do anything extra.

Really though taking two weeks off its like being 12 and discovering you have a dick all over again.
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>>38443464
Bust a nut to your imagination. It will take longer to cum but will be way better
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>>38443464
Just go out and find a girl bro. Just gotta go outside and be yourself! There are women everywhere!

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All I can say is that my life is pretty plain
I like watchin' the puddles gather rain
And all I can do is just pour some tea for two
And speak my point of view but it's not sane
It's not sane
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