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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 3456. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

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Is it possible to track someone down if they have absolutely no internet prescience? Not even a single social media account?
18 posts and 2 images submitted.
Yes stupid. People were hunted down long before the net.
What are you looking for? I need more detail
There's somebody I once knew who I want to contact, but they don't have any social media which would've made this quite easy.

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The Internet as we used to know it died after 2006. Prove me wrong. Protip: you can't.
11 posts and 1 images submitted.
Every video in that screenshot was shit and we all know it.
Not only the internet. The world.
the guitar one was really good i cant find it anymore tho

>tfw spent all day on 4chan again
9 posts and 3 images submitted.
ask someone close to you to hold onto your modem (or hide it)
or router*
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same, entirely on /r9k/. i think it's time to kill myself for the last time

Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck.
You guys please help
>after months of searching finally get a job offer
>they request I mail them some paperwork to finalize it all plus a picture of myself
>today while printing off my picture I was curious about what my asshole looks like so I sat on the scanner to scan a copy of my asshole
>go do some errands and shopping
>send the paperwork
>get home and find my profile picture still sitting on the printer rack
>can't find my asshole picture anywhere
I in all likelihood just mailed a picture of my hairy gross asshole to my future employer. Is there anyway to salvage this? Can I say my mail was tampered with or something? I really need this job, my parents were about to kick me out before I got it
8 posts and 1 images submitted.
Didn't happen, fuck off attention whore.
enthralling fiction, friendo
Yes, you just need to explain you were shot in the face as a baby. There was recently an article about this.
Just say you're a butthead

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>Find another hot tumblr slut to follow
>"Black guys only ;)"

6 posts and 3 images submitted.
What if you try sending her money? Maybe she'll let you follow her
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Don't even bother, she'll just profit from it and drop him as soon as he doesn't have any money. Don't do that kind of stuff anon, it will only hurt you.
I've done this before and it usually works lol "black only" my ass

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What are you drinking tonight robots? Let be alone together
42 posts and 7 images submitted.
Not orinigal
Got some rum and coke and watching Death Note
>What about you?
probably gonna be fired from my job this week, drinking shots of vodka cause i ran out of juice

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Jesus Christ is the light that never dims! His love for you is so great that he sacrificed himself in order to ensure that you will not perish in death! He is the beacon of hope and optimism in a world full of sin.

Many of you are saddened; unhappy; perhaps afraid of the current state of our world. we humans are sinful by nature but God is a pure divine grace like no other. He is pure love and not hate. He is devoid of sin. His grace alone can provide you with the courage and strength we desperately need. We must pay tribute to our Lord by worshipping him and praising his almighty strength.

Jesus was hated and despised by many in his time in this world. He rode into town on a donkey and had nothing to show for in terms of money. He was humble and meek and obedient to his father. His time on this earth was to fulfill the role of saving us from our own wicked nature. Jesus knows what it's like to experience rejection and ostracization. He allowed for himself to be captured, humiliated and executed before crowds of spectators. His own body which was pure was beaten and bloodied on behalf of YOU and ME! This alone should tell you that one no one else is there for you, Jesus is there for you.

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord,"plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

- Jeremiah 29:11

7 posts and 1 images submitted.
I can't wait until you tap into higher consciousness and stop believing in this crap.

I've been noticing a lot of christians and muslims have been leaving their religions lately. fear, anger, exclusionary salvation, and damnation don't solve any of their real problems.
Sorry no ones as woke as you are, but you're literally retarded if you think religion has nothing to do with higher consciousness.
Jesus was loved and worshipped even before his death. Even as a baby 3 KINGS adored him. He was blessed his whole life. He had thousands of followers. Only at the end did he suffer and torture exist today and other ppl have suffered just as much.

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Lets revive /stupid/
>always thought i was above everyone
>superiority complex
>sub 100 IQ
>steady C GPA at uni
>shitty with computers even though i spend all day on them
>always leech off freinds for decent grades
>still try to act alpha
>attention span too short to learn anything new
>going for pilot in ROTC

Hows it going for you?
7 posts and 2 images submitted.
>shitty with computers, even though I spend all day on them

My nigga.

I also:

>only barely graduated high school
>have difficulty doing any sort of math, even basic arithmetic
>terrible at video games, despite loving them
>am insanely incompetent, can't do anything right
wait till you get to your senior level courses and youll drop out.
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>you will only at best be mediocre in life because of a shit brain

why is this allowed?

I am looking for females to copulate with.
9 posts and 1 images submitted.
god hates you people, he made you just to suffer.
The sun shines on everyone, it doesn't make choices.


Who here is a literal sadist!

>show guys my picture to prove I'm real girl
>they get their hopes up as I tell them I love them.
>when they show me their picture I call them gross/ugly and get disgusted
>cut contact with them immediately
>last one just deleted all his social media

25 posts and 8 images submitted.
You cruel, cruel, cruel, cruel, cruel Stacy!!!!!

Why is this so hot though?
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Im a sadist, I cut off my cute trap gf's hand. She is pretty happy though since I take care of all of her needs.
Nose, that nose looked photoshoped!

Ok, story time:

>Be me
>Live at home alone with my mother
>Have an older brother but he moved out years ago
>He'll be important later
>Anyway, Mom goes out of town for the weekend
>Can't remember why, but it's not important anyway
>Have the house to myself
>Remember Mom mentioning having cooked some potatoes
>Find the pot they're in and proceed to smash on boiled potatoes all weekend
>Saturday night, I'm fumbling about in the refrigerator when I find a pot
>Open it up to find cut and seasoned potatoes
>Time seems to freeze around me
>Oh shit
>Realize that these are the potatoes she left for me to eat
>Meaning I just ate her potatoes
>"Oh shit, she's going to fucking kill me!"
>Calms down, look to see how many potatoes are left
>"Maybe I can play it off."
>There are fucking 3 left
>Decides that I need to replace the potatoes
>Need to get to the Trader Joe's and buy more potatoes
>Only problem is getting there
>Can't drive (Which is another story by itself) and it's too far to walk
>Past sunset, so I don't really want to take the bus
>Probably doesn't help that the closest bus stop is a half hour walk from my house
>Mom's coming back tomorrow around noonish
>Need to do this quick and soon
>Call my brother to ask for ride
>Explains the situation
>Is strangely sympathetic to my plight
>Probably because he's pulled worse shit than this this behind her back
>Picks me up about twenty minutes later and drive me to the store
>The drive there and the actual purchasing of potatoes are both pretty unremarkable, so I'll skip it
>Brother drops me off back home
>Before he goes, I tell him that the next time he sees me may be in the obituary
>Ok, time to boil some taters
>Look up a recipe online
>Should only take 20 minutes
>Fucks up, ends taking and hour and a half
>Here I am, alone on a Saturday night boiling potatoes
>Briefly contemplates suicide but manage to persevere
>Finally have perfectly boiled potatoes
To be concluded in Part 2
9 posts and 2 images submitted.
Part 2:

>Had to eat the duds to avoid suspicion
>Place them in the pot and pray that Mom doesn't notice to difference
>Fast forward to the next day
>Mom arrives
>Greet her and help her unpack
>Then proceed go to my room and wait for the inevitable
>An hour passes, nothing happens
>"No way" I tell myself "No fucking way"
>Go down stairs to see her eating a potato
>Looks at me and asks "Need anything, Anon?"
>Mfw I got away with the perfect crime
Couldn't even look at, let alone eat, a potato for a week though
Why would she make potatoes for herself then leave town? fake story, saged.
This was so mundane it wasn't even semi-interesting. Big deal you had to make more potatoes.

Why is this show so comfy guys?
I just want to live in it.
57 posts and 11 images submitted.
No you don't

That one episode where the town went into chaos and the ground was cracking scared the shit out of me
Lots of fourth wall breaking, innuendo, and slap stick. For as juvenile as it is, there's a lot of wit.

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What do I do if I've suddenly been hit by the fact I've done nothing with my life for 3 years and could have been in education, making money or doing something more productive than sitting around on the internet which I was fine with until this realisation of wastefulness I had yesterday.

Its bothering me a lot.
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
It will go away eventually.

Just distract yourself with video games or by heavily obsessing over a girl.
This is when you turn things around. You're probably gonna fail again, and many more times after that too, but every time you'll be quicker to get back up.
Enroll in a school. Just do it.

How do I drink whisky without throwing up? Advice?
22 posts and 2 images submitted.
Chase with vodka.
I'm out of vodka. If I had vodka I'd just drink vodka. Durr.
Try to "air" it after sipping it, so that you feel more the alcohol before swallowing. Also never add ice or soda, so that you can better manage how much you are drinking. Finally, try to drink a glass of water after (not with / during) every serve of whiskey.

Remember that bourbon is to be enjoyed, not rushed.

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I can't do this anymore, Sam.
28 posts and 6 images submitted.
gollum eternally best ringbearer
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Fuck off frodo i am tired of your shit.
arr rook same desu

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