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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 11132. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

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What is keeping you from committing suicide?
147 posts and 31 images submitted.
>>
Well, my family would be pretty down, along with my teachers and people i go to school with. But once all thats gone - nothing.
>>
>>34149205
>What is keeping you from committing suicide?
Hope.
>>
>>34149205
Things might still get better, r-right?

I HAVE A DATE IN 15 MINUTES WHAT DO I DOOOOOO
11 posts and 1 images submitted.
>>
Roll around in some dirt.
>>
pretend you are your own twin brother
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>>34149158
Shit your pants. it is a known fact that the smell of shit from the opposite sex releases pheromones that guarantee sex.

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blah blah
the robot needs words
24 posts and 13 images submitted.
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what's the name of the best chinese cartoon ever made?
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mouth to mouth resuscitating
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>>34150031
I've been fantasizing about my boss and now I act really awkward around her

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Is Chad the Demiurge?
15 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>34149139
the who? deluge?

who is this beast's stepbrother?
>>
in one of the apocrypha, he cucks Adam in the garden.
>>
>>34149642
>Confidently providing facts about Yaldabaoth on internet despite thinking he's from the Apocrypha
This is what the American education system has come to.

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>that feel when want to be mass shooter but doing so would break older brothers heart, he's taken care of you very well since your father died
8 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>34149106
Just be a serial killer then noone will have to know it was you
>>
Kill him first and he won't ever know about your mass shooting
>>
>>34149126
>ever making it past your first kill in 2016 in the land of cctv cameras, advanced forensics and smart phones

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Imagine what it feels like to mount this little cow.

OH WAIT, YOU CANT

CAUSE YOUR A VIRGIN AHAHAHAHAHA
12 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>34149083
That's not a cow that's a human being. Fuck off
>>
>>34149083
>cow
Not enough chub to be a cow.

Also, probably not lactating.

I'd fuck someone like that.

Moo.
>>
>>34149083
I just want to point out how well this picture counters the "ewwwww vaginas are gross" thread next door.

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Post your style, robots!

I'll start (Template below)
213 posts and 66 images submitted.
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Remember to rate!
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>bjork
>grimes
you should be castrated
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>>34149025
>this much pleb

Question for fembots:

Would you date Chad for one week, fulfilling /anything/ you want him to do.

OR

Would you rate another robot for a lifetime, knowing he's smarter than Chad by double digits in IQ and won't leave you.

?
26 posts and 4 images submitted.
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critical question: is the robot a "smart but lazy" kinda guy?

what good is a big brain boy if he doesn't bring in those big bucks?
>>
>>34149009
>date gorgeous chad for a week and have a great time

or

>be stuck with smartass autistic robot your whole life
>>
>>34149031

For my example, he would fulfill the "smart yet lazy" stereotype if he frequents /r9k/.

Let's say for this hypothetical scenario that they both worth the same job, making the same amount of money. But they spend their free time doing completely different activities/hobbies.

Chad would visit the gym and be a sports enthusiast. R0b would play video games and watch anime.

I don't necessarily fulfill either roles, I mostly lurk in /pol/ but I'd like to make an observation and see what fembots honestly prefer.

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ITT: We are middle schoolers from the early-mid-2000s

>counselor asks if I'm on drugs because grades are slipping
>actually just playing Runescape
14 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>34148958
Top kek

>Be in middle school in early mid 2000s
>No friends
>All I do is play Runescape literally all day long after school once I'm done with my homework
>All my friends are on Runescape
>They all quit
>Still have no friends 10 years later
>>
I wish emo/scene girls were still a thing
>>
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>tfw have emo-tier hair right now

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Are you strong enough to lift your mom?
25 posts and 9 images submitted.
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>>34148943
She weighs like 400 lbs so not really.
>>
lmao I'd either have to get her on a diet for years or train for years to be able to do that
>tfw mom isn't hot
>>
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>>34148943
>she has incredible feet but chad will only wreck her holes with his 9 inch chad cock

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LITERALLY ONLY THING I WANT IN LIFE IS TO BE A MAN

WHY IS LIFE SO CRUEL, R9K
42 posts and 7 images submitted.
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is that candlejack? i haven't seen his picture in a wh
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>>34148768
oh fuck off, anon, this is no laughing matte
>>
>>34148798
You didn't even do it right you absolute fa

I'm in a hotel room with a girl who seemingly likes me but I'm too nervous to make the first move. We're cuddling and watching stuff on her ipad. Help
14 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>34148724
Tell her you are gay
then laugh and say just kidding
then say I used to be
then say with your dad
you were gay with your dad
then ask is she would join in
if she says yes come on in the bedroom son
>>
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>>34148724
>We're cuddling

you already lost the game
>>
>>34148724
if you can't make a move on a girl you know like you, you're a faggot.

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What are the strongest male names, robots?
16 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>34148720
chat desu senpai
>>
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>>34148720
Scottie
(original shit)
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>>34148720
Anon.

Come to think of it i might actually name my son that if i ever have one.
He will be meme personified

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Has anyone ever successfully become a normie?
20 posts and 1 images submitted.
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I tried and almost died, stick to your robot life OP
>>
>Recently got married 2 years ago
>Loving relationship
>Do what I love for a living and basically work for myself
>Have an apartment, looking into buying a house

Oh shit, I am a normie. Do I have to leave? I like it here
>>
I got married and own a house with my wife.

It's a trap anon, stay a robot. They.will.enslave.you.

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Hey /r9k/, here's the story of how my parents were so disappointed in me that they set up a date for me.

> My dad got tickets to a hockey game (Anaheim Ducks @ Arizona Coyotes)
> Mysteriously gets sick the day of and I tell him it's OK and that I'm sure he could sell the tickets somewhere.
> He tells me: no, no, there''s a lady at my work who has a really nice daughter, your age.
> pleasestop.mp4
> I can almost read the sadness in his eyes as I tell him I'm not particularly interested and that I have a raid to do.
> At this point I'm raiding and the Hockey game starts in an hour, not sure what to do.
> Decide that I can't fail him when he put this much effort in.
> "H-hey dad?"
> "Yes, son?"
> "I'll go to the game with that girl if you really want me to."
> His eyes light up and he gives me a hug.

Anyways, I go the game and she's really QT, 7/10 face 6/10 body and I'm looking pretty OK myself, clean shaven, 6/10 face. 6/10 body. (Basically ottermode)

Cut to current time. I'm in the bathroom typing this on my phone and I don't know what to do. I know my dad set me up and I don't want to let him down again, but I'm fucking sperging out at this point. Do I call it quits? Help me. Will update when I get home.
128 posts and 25 images submitted.
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>>34148606
Just talk to her normally. Go out of the bathroom and just see it as a social outing with a friend, not as a date.

Take it easy, try to enjoy the game and see what happens. If it doesn't work out that's ok, if it does that's great as well
>>
>>34148606
girls are no harder to talk to than guys. talk to her like you'd talk to anyone else. be polite and shit if you really want her to like you
>>
>>34148606

Pretend she's a dude and then turn a filter on that prevents you from talking about robot things.

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