Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 3542. page

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>feel the need for love and affection
>fap
>don't feel the need for love and affection

why is this

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>be me
>dorky qt at work
>see her on cell phone in the break room
>can't bring myself to speak to her

fuck, I am 29, I should be able to talk to grills.

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*aborts baby*
My body, my rules!

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Can you guys cheer me up?
My onetis just ghosted me
>Asked her to hang out
>She agrees
>I then tell details about where we'll go etc...
>She doesn't see the messages
>''Oh, maybe she's just busy, r-right?''
>TFW she stopped talking to me, and is even kinda active on normiebook, wich only proves that she simply doesn't give a shit about me

Please guy, I just need something to cheer me up right now

Also, this can be a general woman hate thread if you guys are feelin up to it, I don't care

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>tfw want to die but don't want to kill myself
Why can't I just get killed by a drunk driver? I want to be put out of my misery when I least expect it.

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Shhhh this is a secret Normie thread. Be cool you guys, don't let the Robots know we're here or they'll totally freak.

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Anyone other robots /frink/ here?

I'm drunk as duck just finisher da 40 Oz bottle and I have a low alcohol yolernace

Indiprojy pic maybe not related but it sure did true

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>be average fag
>shy around girls
>finally decide to get a gf
>sign up on online dating site
>girl contacts me
>she's pretty cute
>is this a bot?
>talk to her
>seems real
>get her number and call her
>she's pretty cool
>wonder how the fuck she's single
>shut up brain, don't ruin this
>go out
>fucks on the first date
>this is too good to be true
>says we're boyfriend and girlfriend now and that I better not ever cheat on her or leave her
>o..okay
>go back home
>she calls me later that night
>we chat
>set up another date for the weekend
>she calls me everyday until our date
>aw that's cute. she must really like me
>go out and take her back home
>she wants to spend the weekend
>sure
>makes me take her several stores where she buys decorations and starts cleaning and decorating my apartment
>t..that's um nice I guess
>same shit as last week: daily calls until our date on Friday
>go to pick her up
>anon, my landlord is kicking me out. can I crash at your place
>sure
>she already has all her stuff packed up
>more decorating and rearranging the apartment
>go to class on Monday
>she's now calling me multiple times a day for checkups
>after a few days get fed up and ignore her
>thirty-four (34) missed calls/text messages
>get back home
>she goes ballistic
>caught off guard so I just apologize and agree to check in regularly
>my lease is coming up
>she wants to be added to the lease and live together from now on
>like my space but also like someone to do chores so I agree
>today she made me take her to several hotels
>w..why?
>to find a venue for our wedding
>she scheduled brunch tomorrow for me to meet her parents
>from meeting online to fucking to moving in to planning a wedding in 8 weeks

What do I do? She's being a clingy fuck but she's loyal and cute. I don't know if I can do better so should I just bite the bullet and settle down with her?

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>tfw you missed out on your youth

is there a worse feel than this?

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Any fellow robots ever get themselves in trouble by misremembering popular normie expressions?
>be autist
>somehow score qt3.14 gf who finds my social retardation adorable
>has her own job and apartment
>she is aggressive and dominant in bed
>i would prefer if she was more submissive but since she actually touches my benis i ain't complaining
>figure this is it, this is probably the best girl i'm ever likely to get, if not the only
>think about marrying her before she comes to her senses
>try to bring up marriage in a casual way, mention i'm up for taking the knot if she's into it
>she practically explodes with glee
>says she never thought i would be up for something like that
>i guess i don't seem like the monogamous type to her
>this is it bros, finally getting that pussy locked down
>she has to go to work so i don't get to talk to her about it any more
>get good and drunk on a couple of bottles of wine i find in her fridge
>that night she ties me up for our usual bedroom games
>"are you ready to take the knot now, anon?"
>confused as fuck, i still haven't even gotten down on one knee to give her the box with the engagment ring yet
>"but you haven't even opened my ring yet!"
>she looks confused for a second and then smiles
>"don't worry, i'll make sure to loosen you up first!"
>the fuck? i'm already drunk, how much more loosened up can i get?
>try to protest, slur my words
>she shoves a gag in my mouth
>gives a shrill whistle and calls out "BISHOP!"
>suddenly remember bishop is the name of her doberman
>something has gone horribly wrong

Apparently the expression is actually supposed to be "tying the knot".

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>He still plays weeb shit in 2017

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If I force myself to stop eating and only eat when I physically need it, I'll loose weight. I don't get around much, so it'll be pretty easy.

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>work up courage to ask girl out
>she says yes
>go out and have a blast
>she actually invites me back to her place and jumps all over me
>isthisreallife.jpg
>fall in love
>we go out once or twice a week now for the last 3 months
>consider us as boyfriend and girlfriend
>ask her if we're officially in a relationship and she says yes
>never friended her or spied on her social media because I'm a jealous and paranoid person who would freak out over the slightest thing
>plan to go out tonight
>she cancelled at me last minute for a girls night out
>angry but keep my cool
>get paranoid
>try to silence my brain
>can't
>start snooping her Facebook
>she checked in at a bar 2 hours ago with 2 other girls and 3 guys
>concerned
>check her Twitter and instagram pages
>refreshing often
>new instagram pic
>it's a selfie of her in the passenger seat of a car licking her lips
>caption says "lol, I just sucked the biggest dick ever"
>devastated
>start going through her Facebook and other social media history
>see dates we had
>see some other outings with friends
>see her talking about going out with other dudes at the same time we're dating
>her instagram page is even worse
>multiple shots of her in bed or in the bathroom after fucking dudes (me and other dudes too)
>try to contain it and go to sleep
>can't
>call her
>she picks up
>go on a rant
>she gets mad for snooping her social media
>then says we never said we were exclusive and that she thought I was fucking other women
>h..haha of course I was
>she considers the matter settled

What the fuck do I do? I love her and want us to be exclusive. How do I make her agree?

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>tfw too poor to afford a laptop
>tfw can't even afford a gram of weed without having to save up for a week
>Tfw my card got declined trying to buy 2 packs of ramen noodles
>Tfw I just got gas flowing into my trailer after not having heating for 7 months.
>Tfw I eat pussy for drugs and cigarettes.
Stay in school, bros

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LMAO DUDE JUS B CONFIDENT.
http://www.capitalfm.com/artists/zara-larsson/news/zara-larsson-new-boyfriend-brian-whittaker-2017/

Once again, a stark reminder that beauty is 100% genetics and that looks-theory is EVERYTHING. Anyone who doesn't believe this is 100% coping with a blue pill overdose.

Zara Larsson literally just took one look at this 16 YEAR OLD's face, just one look, and she knew she wanted him. Bam! She didn't even have to hear his voice. She didn't even have to know his personality. A couple tweets later, now they're a couple that probably fucks on the regular (she's 19).