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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 85. page

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> First day in college
> Waiting for the bus
> There's another guy waiting, must be a student, about my same age
> Decide that it's time to finally be social
> "H-hey. W-which grade are you going to study?"
> He looks at me awkwardly
> Says he is studying a law degree, first year
> "R-really? M-me too, maybe we'll be in the same class!"
> Looks almost distressed for a second
> "I hope not"

17 posts and 1 images submitted.
Sounds like you're a fag LMAO
I'm going to fuck you up kiddo
"I hope not."

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Why don't you smoke cigarettes? You some kind of a faggot? Want to live long and healthy? Stop embarassing yourself any further ang get a pack of LM's slims.
12 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Cigarettes taste and smell fucking disgusting, and I only smoke when I need to calm myself down so I'll stick to my weed and cigars senpai.

I can see the appeal though. To normies that leave the house and get in stressful situations and need like 5 smokes a day, that's ideal
I have other bad habits that don't leave me smelling like shit and hacking up a lung when I wake up.
>need to calm yourself down
So you pull out a fucking cigar and smoke it for 5 minutes, then pop it back into your pocket?

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>I hate to sound so desperate like this, but I'm lonely. So truly, deeply, lonely. It's been too long since I've held another human being. I miss the feeling of being next to someone, anyone, and wrapping my arms around them and cuddling until we fall asleep. It's not the same with my pillow. It doesn't have the same weight, you can't really hold it like you can hold a human being.
>ywn hold her warm body
>ywn be her high-point of the day

also, cuddling thread
14 posts and 4 images submitted.
>tfw I'm the highpoint of her day
Fuck feels good man.
>tfw finally got cuddles today
>laid in bed and talked
>was super nice

Chin up OP, we'll all get it!
>>I hate to sound so desperate like this, but I'm lonely. So truly, deeply, lonely. It's been too long since I've held another human being. I miss the feeling of being next to someone, anyone, and wrapping my arms around them and cuddling until we fall asleep. It's not the same with my pillow. It doesn't have the same weight, you can't really hold it like you can hold a human being.
>>ywn hold her warm body
>>ywn be her high-point of the day
>also, cuddling thread
Dumb sissy anime boi.

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>tfw just tasted my own shit by accident
10 posts and 3 images submitted.
I tasted it before, during masturbation after watching 2 girls 1 cup for the first time and actually enjoying it. Terrible taste. You can't tell while your horny, but it hits you like a truck the moment you get off. Don't ever do it OP. Remember the pain you felt, and imagine how much worse it would be if you covered yourself in it and had to clean it off later on. It is absolutely not worth it. If you're slapping that monkey and you start needing to take a shit you need to start screaming "Down boy!", pull up your pants, and make a run for that toilet. It is not worth the trauma. Let nothing stand in between you and that toilet. Every time you feel like taking a shit, tell yourself that shit belongs in the toilet, or in the ground. Absolutely nowhere else, except for a garden I guess.
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This fucking post. kek.

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Why does everyone claims having depression, autism and borderline personality disorder like its fun or something ?

Some friends i knew with those disorders were very quiet about it and only would talk about them once you get close to them since they were stigmatized in the society and this isn't something you really wanna talk about
28 posts and 4 images submitted.
>believing half the shit these idiots diagnose themselves with.
People who diagnose mental illnesses are failed normies who just faked it til they made it. They claim anyone who visits them as depressed so they can shell out pills and make money

Who are these people of which you speak? Could you provide us with an anecdote relating to one of your many encounters with them?

Anyone else on here ever get vagina envy? I can't be the only one.

l don't think I really want to be a woman, but I just wish l had a vagina sometimes. I hate having a refractory period. I realIy wish l could have multiple orgasms. Good sex and masturbation just seem so much more pleasurable for women it makes me deeply depressed... lt just feels like biology and my body have betrayed me. FemaIes are so lucky.
20 posts and 3 images submitted.
A vagina comes with periods, secretions, hymens and pregnancy. You males always think that having sex as an advantage for women means there are no other disadvantages.
Shutup roastie. Get off the board.
Always getting so mad that reality doesn't go your way.

>be at friends' place
>staying a few days
>we all sleep in the living room, though in different beds
>get woken twice by their literal fucking sounds
They're both overweight and older than me by quite a lot, so it didn't even feel any exciting or even cringey. I just wanna die,had to wait till the whole thing was over without being even able to do anything. At least they were being rather stealth but it didn't really matter.
>Didn't feel excited
I guess this at least means I'm not a pathetic cuck or something.
10 posts and 2 images submitted.
>not sneaking up and cuming all over them
what a missed opportunity
Anime reaction image checks out. You're a faggot.
Not opinionated at all

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>tfw backstabbers at work

Worst people, stab you in the back just to suck the managers dick thinking they will get a Payrise or the manager will buy them a new car.
21 posts and 5 images submitted.
>be promoted at work
>nobody else wanted the job but coworkers get pissed i am getting paid more them them
>they decide to haze the shit out of me for months for this
>they get a new guy to tell me for weeks that nobody wants me working there
>had enough and put in my two week notice
>suddenly everybody upset i want to leave
>they want references and hookups like they didn't fuck me over for months
>be days away from starting new job
>coworker who hated me says she found out where my new job was and also applied
>said she talked to the manager about me during her interview
>sus af
>get call the next day saying they decided to give my position to someone else
>bitch comes in the next day asking me if i'm going to be staying since she got my job
>get job hiring to start right away
>they want me to start in 4 days
>tell manager at the beginning of my shift not to put me on schedule for next week--i was just going to finish out the work week
>bitch over hears me talking to manager
>is desperate to know where i'm working next
>say nothing and quit that day
>find out months later that the bitch quit her new job in three days because it was too hard and went back to the old job

It's just impossible to fucking trust anybody at work. People will fuck you over for no good reason other than jealousy.
I got my coworker fired a couple days ago. He cried.
>little bitch tears or full on bawling?

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Call the suicide hotline and dictate them a letter to someone who won't read it while you hug your sister so hard you engrave her initials into her.
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
Instructions unclear, dick caught in sister's anus
OP, what do? There are reparations to be made.
Have you ever saged a (You) so hard you clicked on all the street signs.

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Why do I keep fucking up things, /r9k/?
Basically, I've been in this relationship for about 3 months or so now. Things were going good for the first 2 months, even lost my virginity to her, and vice versa. Everything was going smoothly until her parents found out. So now we can't really see each other in person anymore. Plus, I moved farther away, so even if I could see her, I would have to go a very long way by bike, since I don't have a car. Yes, I'm 18. My gf is 16.

Anyways, the past week, I've felt rather lonely and depressed, since I can't be with her, and I've realized that the spark and love that I've felt towards her is nearly dead. Like, I almost don't feel anything at this point, unless we both start going down memory lane. I know that if we were to be able to be together in person, this wouldn't have become an issue.

To complicate matters, I decided to reach out to one of my exes that I've always been good friends with. We've had our fights, our breaks, but she's a good person, and I honestly still have heavy feelings for her, even if I bury them most of the time. She already knows what's up here, and she says I should just break up with my gf if the spark is dead. No point in leading her on just to keep her happy, right?

Anyway, to the real meat and bones of why I'm here: Lately, the old spark that I had for my ex has started unburying itself, and she said that she feels the same way towards me. Thing is, I really want to try to fix my relationship with my current gf, even though due to her parents, our relationship basically is gonna be long distance/over text for a few years. What do I do, guys? Should I stay with my current gf? If so, how am I able to fix my relationship? Or should I just be with my ex, who has no strings attached?

12 posts and 1 images submitted.
But never, and I mean ever date a girl younger then you that's in high school anon. I fell for the meme and from age 16-18 dated younger girls and it was generally the most retarded thing I've ever done. There just in a relationship to be in a relationship to fix there self esteem and try to fit in with the other kids.
there's this board called advice and that may help you >>>/adv/ have fun
Not op, but /adv/ is a dead board and filled with normies and shit tier advice for anything. They give advice to roasties who cheat that it's okay as long as the bf doesn't find out and they don't do it again.

>walk into your sister's room
>see this
What do you do?
33 posts and 15 images submitted.
Close the door and start rubbing her between her legs.
I'd immediately apologize to Finland.
live in Turkey

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10 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>tfw no big sis gf
>>>imoutos are superior

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Fembots make ideal gf images of themself thread, robots post theirs as ideal bf edition.

>old thread

pic related, it's a template
46 posts and 11 images submitted.
If your pride is enough to stop a relationship you are a normie plain and simple.
my pride keep killing all the water buffalo I fall in love with
I read about it a few years ago. It was really neat, and the babies were so cute. It's a shame they all died.

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>tfw to intelligent too live
13 posts and 1 images submitted.
link me to the video please friend
I was super arrogant before I was depressed, then felt like I was worth nothing and wanted to kill myself. What kind of fuck thinks they're so good that they should die?
lol what a dumb bitch

>be me
>7 years old
>at my grandma's place like every week end
>it's winter
>she made me macaronis with ham and cheese
>I'm rolled up in a fluffy blanket on the couch
>Lion King is playing on the TV
>she eats with me while I comment everything that happens on the screen because I've seen it a million times
>she always smiles and answers me kindly
>I fall asleep on the couch and she takes me to my bed

I didn't know it at the time but that was the last time I would see her. She was terminally ill and she knew she would die soon so she made huge efforts to give me the best last evening with her I could have.

What's your comfiest chilhood memory ?
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>mfw OP's pic was my oneitis' profile picture for a while
>be me, young
>sleep in bed
>nobody there, all peaceful
>half awake half asleep
>room cold but i wrapped myself up

I cant do that anymore or I just feel alone.
I can still do that on some nights, when I can hear the sound of the city clearly and nothing else, but I get what you mean.

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