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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 5498. page

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Tee hee xddd :p I'm a qt trap just look at my qt succubus shirt xdd :DDD which you should buy now at redbubble dot com give me some SHEKELS don't you just love my shirt haha xddddd lol it's so cute and look I'm wearing girls clothes uh oh aren't I just sooooo lewd~ gasp what do you mean I'm so cute?!! I'm s-stuttering like i-ive g-got s-serious b-brain d-d-d-d-d-damage.......... You couldn't possibly want to do something lewd to me after I just said I wanted it!!!!!! Look at all my emoticons ~ ahhh it's so cute I'm so cute you should think I'm so cute just like a girl haha but I am a girl (male) after all what do you mean I smell like cum all girls do right????? :3 maybe you should just fuck me nao I want a duck so bad look just how much my shrived up estrogen enriched dick... I mean feminine penis ;P is bulging in my leggings^^ they're so tight and cute and cute and cute and cute and cute and cute I'm so cuuuute~ just cover me in your cum oh no I've got some steam notes hope they're from cute Bois oh Anon just look at me I'm so sad ;; hug me I'm so smol u know I'm only 5 '4 isn't that so cute~ I need a trip how do I make one???!! I hope you don't hit on mee

This is l*terally how ridiculous they sound and look. Retarded faggots should spill their guts
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
stOP IT!
p-pls b in miami
Please be in Spain.

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Uncle Anon, I can hear you breathing behind me
14 posts and 4 images submitted.
>I'm not uncle anon, I'm neighbor anon and you're coming with me
>say "Fortunately there's a fix for that."
>draw gun
how the heck do you find these pictures op..

>robot thinks he deserves a gf despite having no redeeming qualities whatsoever and is clearly not able to handle commitment
16 posts and 1 images submitted.
Commitment is the easy part.
I don't see how people even cheat on girls. I know it doesn't happen nearly as often as girls cheat on guys, but still.
>Commitment is the easy part.
hahahah no. most of you have never worked a day in your lives and live on welfare
>look at the floor or to the side when being spoken to

Look at me you fucking faggot. You are a fucking adult. Holy shit. Someone with autism explain this behavior.

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anon's favorites
18 posts and 10 images submitted.
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go on, post' em
>TV show
Not bad, 6/10


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>threw away my fleshlight 2 months ago
>already miss it
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
Why would you throw away your Fleshlight?
he probably didn't clean it and it got sticky and moldy and gross
I've actualyl done it twice
The first one was an actual fleshlight, but it sucked. It was sticky, sloppy and bulky.
Then I bought some an off brand fleshlight from ebay which was much much better and easier to clean and maintain. I threw it away because I felt like an even bigger loser fucking it


>post about how you alienated your friends
>talk about your friendless childhood
>discuss how you were shot down after your pathetic attempts to socialize with others
31 posts and 5 images submitted.
>childhood friend becomes a full normie
>invites me to a concert, I actually have fun
>look at him and see him post shit on his phone instead of listening to the concert
>later, go to camp with him
>bitches all the fucking time
>wants to boss me around
>"break up"
Other people simply stopped talking to me. No story.
Nowadays I don't seek friends. I know how to talk to people and smile at their jokes but there is no point to even look for friendship.
>but there is no point to even look for friendship.

Why is there no point ?
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I don't fit, and the pretense is absurd
/efforts were made/

What's the nicest thing you've ever said to anyone, /r9k/?
8 posts and 1 images submitted.
I asked the weird ugly girl to prom because I felt so fucking bad for her when it was like 3 days to prom and her name wasnt on the list with anyone yet, at the time i had a gf and we had fun.
This was really nice of you
I said "I love you" and meant it
I've also said "I love you" and not meant it before

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>parents went through messy divorce, filed when I was about 7 years old and took a long time, finally settled when I was about 10 or 11
>i sided with my dad because i knew my mom was fucked up, but my other siblings sided with my mom and my mom won custody
>divorce really JUSTed my dad, if it wasnt for me taking his side he probably would have killed himself
>him getting JUSTed made me feel JUSTed because i loved him more than anything and i hated seeing him suffer
>had a bad relationship with my mom for most of my life because again i knew she was not as nice or as good as pretended to be and i had lingering hatred for her JUSTing my dad
>finally started to warm up to her around 16 and patched things up
>20 now, always had a good relationship with my dad and my relationship with my mom has been pretty good for the last few years
>today, find an old tape recording in my dad's closet from when he worked at home as a telemarketer and had to record calls from the house phone
>its a recording of a conversation between my mom and my grandmother about how my dad won't let me and my siblings go to some event because he thinks it's too dangerous and we're too young
>grandmother says "Did you make sure to tell the kids that their dad is the one who isn't letting them have fun, and not you?"
>mom says yes
>grandma says "Good." like the fucking emperor from Star Wars
>this recording was dated from before my mom filed for divorce
>mfw i realized that my own mother colluded with my own grandmother to make me and my siblings hate my father, ruin his life, and ruin my life in the process
>they purposefully spread dissent against my father and planned it out well in advance of the actual divorce
>my mom literally schemed up an entire JUSTing for my dad from the start
>my dad doesn't even know about this

Give me one good reason why I shouldn't double murder my mother and my grandmother.
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
cause you'd probably get ass raped in jail
Do it, but don't get caught. Unless you have 10k lying around then send 2 hitmen.
This is literally the only good reason not to. Try to fuck up their lives in any legal way possible.

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Where has he gone? Why do I never seen his threads anymore?
7 posts and 4 images submitted.
it went out of business because they ran out of money. Turns out you can't run a bar on welfare
But I've paid for my drinks every time and left a generous tip.
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Do people really like my The Frogs and Feels Tavern Threads that much?

I used to make them almost every night on here and on /b/
I guess they got a lot of traffic,I just kinda stopped a while back, life's been harder recently.
We still do Jameson on the rocks for $1.99

you think they ever jerked each other off?
17 posts and 5 images submitted.
sure, frodo slipped on the ring of power so samwise could pretend it was a rosy cotton on his squat, hobbit dick more easily
Probably not jacked each other off - but I assume they masturbated together.
What do you think Sam meant when he said "share the load"

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>want to draw hentai and shit
>buy tablet
>buy manga studio 5
>start drawing
>looks deviant art tier
>lose motivation and haven't touched it in a month
>still want to draw but I know it's going to look nothing like how I picture it in my head
this feel hurts
12 posts and 3 images submitted.
This is r9k in a goddamn nutshell. You have to put in effort, motherfucker. Did you seriously think anyone in the world just sat down one day and started drawing well without working up to it?
Wow, you're never going to be good unless you go full autism mode on it. This applies to everything basically. Go watch some youtube tutorials and make a schedule and stick to it if you actually want to become good.
I mean, there are no rules basically. Nobody expects anything. Go nuts and draw something that hides how much you suck at first, then slowly move up piece by piece.
Well you can trace porn scenes and give the girls anime eyes and furry ears/tails. I bet that'd look pretty hot.

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What is the source of the discoloration of the skin around my eye?
18 posts and 3 images submitted.
Poor diet, lack of sleep, maybe allergies.

General sickliness basically
terminal cancer, I'm sorry OP

There's some kind of "circle" on your eyelid.

Get a cotton ball with hydrogen peroxide on it and carefully swab around your eyelid.

If it stings you got some kind of skin rash.

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This man has manipulated 160 girls into killing themselves.

26 posts and 3 images submitted.
I bet he's a robot.
There goes an_hero, watch him as he goes.
irl izaya orihara

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how the fuck does anyone stomach this garbage?
15 posts and 7 images submitted.
What's wrong with good ol' Rick and Morty? Don't you wanna get schwifty?
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i enjoy chocolate milk, browing reddit, rick and morty, dungeons and dragons, magicka, going to cosplay events, and collecting rick and morty action figures

what about you, anon?
Because it's entertaining, at least as entertaining as seeing people shit on the show. You all remind me of liberals shitting on Trump before he won.

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Why do normies interpret social anxiety/shyness as being rude? Are they really THAT stupid?
20 posts and 1 images submitted.
it's fine for a girl and also cute
It technically IS rude if you are using your social anxiety or shyness as an excuse to not follow through on normal socialization.

I get very shy too and can have pretty extreme anxiety (to the point of throwing up). I had to learn to get over myself and if I am going into public, to act as normal as possible. Smile at others, make small chat, etc. It has made me a less shy person. I never let other people suffer for my own problems.
They don't actually they're just being tribalistic and they're trying to push you into further anxiety to isolate you from the tribe.

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