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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 3632. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

Rate my NEET cuisine
9 posts and 4 images submitted.
Are you from the Mirrorverse? Why is everything backwards?
literal original poison

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Just look at this. It's a work of art.

But all rational parts of my brain say this is a dirty part of the body, no better than a sewer pipe.

Roastie magic man.
9 posts and 2 images submitted.
No. Attraction is emotional
Doesn't that look exactly like a male asshole?
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not really desu

You have been muted for 2 seconds, because your comment was not original.

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How are we supposed to fix women and the power they habe over men in 1st world country's when bitch asses like you white knight whores and enable them. The amount of white knighting and begging femanons for cuddles is disgustng. You're fucking everything up and making things worse senpai. Stop it.
4 posts and 1 images submitted.
Why fix women? Why not just fix yourself
There's nothing to fix. Men obviously have a disadvantage when it comes to mating vs women and marriage fuvj are you talking about. And it's only getting worse.

If you're trying to make a,personal attack I'm alrdy married.
Is that the average le Kekistani? Jeez. /pol/ was a fucking mistake.

>no friends
>no gf
>in lame community college
>distance myself from people that do open up to me
>neglect girls so hard that are interested in me that they end up asking ME for my number
>text them maybe once or twice and stop
>probably hurt their feelings as they stop texting too

what the fuck is wrong with me!?? pic not related
2 posts and 1 images submitted.
lol wtf at that pic

Seriously, who has both the time and talent to create shit like that? lol holy shit

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What drugs has /r9k/ used? I'm curious to see how I compare to the rest of you.

not including alcohol or weed-
73 posts and 11 images submitted.
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Go back to /soc/ you degenerate. True robots remain pure.
>not using a very effective antidepressant based on a dumb meme

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fembots be honest: how does this make you feel?
24 posts and 2 images submitted.
After losing hervkid, Piper Perri just wanted to let filled up
My cock is bigger than that
it makes me wet
imagining my vagina being stretched by a big black cock is so hot

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>tfw no gf
>tfw telling hottest girl I know she's "pretty" at a party because I was drunk
>tfw she actually starts talking to me and showing interest back
>tfw she's 1 cm taller than me
>tfw low self-esteem so don't ingage mutually


fuck me, I might have actually gotten a shot with a literal 9/10 and fucked it up
7 posts and 2 images submitted.
She talked to you out of pity. She laughed about it with her friends later
She talked with me for two weeks and started snapping me.
Honestly this is the worst feel.

On the rare occasion that a girl likes/shows interest towards me, they always lose it within a month.

I'm afraid I have a boring personality or something.

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>hate shitty retail job that I worked at for 40-50 hrs a week
>had a bad acid trip
>at the peak of unhappiness with my life
>customer yells "Excuse me" over the counter
>yell back "I'll be with you in a minute"
>customer gets offended and says "Excuse me?"
>fuck this shit
>ignore customer and go have a smoke
>realize that nothing in my life will ever change if I don't make an effort to change it
>realize that I've been telling myself for years now that I need to change a number of things about my life, but have never once followed through
>realize that it's now or never to completely turn over a new leaf
>come back ten minutes later and grab my stuff
>say over the intercom "Someone to [my department] 'cause I fucking quit"
>walk out
>go home, chug a 4 loko and smoke a blunt
>don't know what to do, but know that if I don't fix my life up right now, I will never be happy
>even crushed my box of cigarettes that I just bought
39 posts and 4 images submitted.
You a manager?
Gonna pick up a trade or something ?
No, but I was on track to be promoted to one.

>make fake chad profile on Tinder
>girls messaging me first

27 posts and 2 images submitted.
Tell her what you really are. Which is an ugly sperg
just sweet talk them and get nudes. save and make a collection.
This. After you get the pics just ghost them.

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Fembots why are you so god damned obsessed with rape fantasies?
23 posts and 4 images submitted.
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I don't have rape fantasies, but i do get off to the idea of being impregnated aganist my will by a monster. Does it count?
And why? because i watched too much hentai and i became twisted. It only works in 2D. Anon won't comply with my fantasies because i'm a weirdo.
>being impregnated aganist my will by a monster.

"Alien" must be a porn movie for you.

I was thinking more about orcs, minotaurs and other more human-like monsters

Remember the glory days of Nickelodeon from between 2000-2006?

When they had Ned's Declassified, Jimmy Neutron, Rocket Power, early Fairly Oddparents, Avatar: The Last Airbender, Danny Phantom, the later seasons of Hey arnold, Invader Zim, pre-movie SpongeBob, Drake and Josh, still had reruns of 90s shows like Rocko's Modern Life, My Life as a Teenage Robot, and other great shows that once aired on Nick.

Before they started airing retarded shit around 2007+ like the Naked Brothers Band, post-movie SpongeBob, Back at the Barnyard, and Fanboy and Chum Chum.
53 posts and 10 images submitted.
ooo i member i member
*upvotes post*
Naked Brothers Band was actually my shit back in the day.

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Friendly reminder that if you're circumcised then you are not a complete human
8 posts and 3 images submitted.
I didn't find that reminder particularly friendly.
Lmao everyone shittin on liberuls but turns out they're one of the first to ban circumcision. What do with the narrative now.
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thanks for reminding me anon

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I am >< this fucking close to killing myself
i just want to talk to someone I am so lonely
post discord shits invite me to play videogames hell even make fun of me
i NEED it
Fran#1119 Dis
Nosam500 stem
13 posts and 2 images submitted.
i dont have discord or steam, but i could download discord real quick! i only have 30 minutes from now until my wifi shuts off for a while, though
same anon, i have a discord now! we can talk on skype, though. i dont play video games on my computer, but i have a giant groupchat of online friends who you could talk to!
I can't do anything for you

I can't even save myself.

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>hear all this stuff about prostate orgasms
>decide to start poking around down there
>no access to toys so I need to improvise
>live with parents (between college semesters)
>mom uses disposable "butt inspection gloves" for cleaning
>grab one, put it on.
>no lube, so I just use spit
>fuckin slober all over my middle finger
>rub around anus
>insert slowly into anus
>dick, thoroughly erect before, is now throbbing in my left hand
>jack off with the speed of sonic the hedgehog as I move finger inside anus
>as I cum, feel anus clench around finger
>massive cum dump
im not even gay but holy shit that was good
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>Be me
>Have fur coat fetish
>Mom leaves for the weekend
>Subscribe to dogfart.con
>Get fully nude
>Take my mom's sheared beaver fur coat from closet
>Rub it all over my body while watching dogfart cuckold interracial porn
>Pleasure myself like this all weekend
>Eat lots of fast food and play league of legends in my downtime

No regrets
It's not a prostate orgasm if you jacked off. Do it without touching your penis.

>tfw prostate play does nothing for me

I've tried everything from my finger to expensive buttplugs. Nothing happens

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Why does /r9k/ hate roasties so much?
3 posts and 1 images submitted.
Because it's full of gays now
fuck you normie we don't have to explain things to you

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