Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 7354. page

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If you have more than 0 friends irl, you are NOT a robot.

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> Typical state [adderrall for ADHD]
Wordy, many dependent clauses, overly detailed and lacks overall context, often includes citations, nihilistic

>Off days [no amphetamines]
Succinct, angry, low quantity

> 1st beer in
Autism typical off amphatamines greatly reduced, sentence structure simplifies, arguments more resonant with other posters, persuasion increased, insight increased, typos slightly increased

>2-3 beers in
Sentence structure now lazy, short but now also lacking formal structure--staccato. Use of semi-colon disappears; confused attempts green text begins to show up even when off 4chan. Arguments become lazy & have little persuasive powers. Typos moderately increased.

> 4-5 beers in
50% of posting material now consists of "LOL" "KEK" "niggerfaggot" or similar trope speak. Racism boost. Typos abound. Little real attempt at any grammatical construction resembling a sentence. No attempt to construct arguments or be persuasive. Self-referential as if not actually even trying to communicate with others but posting for self realization.

>6 or more beers
despite drinking daily, i have very next to no body fat and am passed out or too useless to post anything at this point

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What are you guys listening to?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rmlmOk4ubcU

>My soul is void tonight, I'm Automaton

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I just had a sobering experience today because I ran into an old friend from high school when I was jogging through a dog park and now he's a police officer (tactical response TEAM ie SWAT) and his girlfriend is a lawyer.

He's fit (though judging from his physique I am stronger) but he has a career and a hot lawyer gf (I looked him up on Facebook afterwards), like she's seriously hot, if her profile wasn't so restricted to non friends I'd be fapping.
He also went to university for 2 years before he got accepted into policing and was studying criminology and investigative studies.

Meanwhile, I've done nothing but a few labourer jobs and been unemployed for a year now and live with my parents.

So, what are your life goals? Are you achieving them? I thought lifting and gains was good enough but I feel like shit.

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fuck hiroshima nagasaki for making 4chan basically unusable on mobile because of all the ads everywhere, i can't even listen to music and have 4chan open at the same time because the ads play silent audio tracks over it

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>virgin walker tier
>all the cons of being fat
>all the cons of being skinny

Even some fatties and lanklets might look unique and funny, but you are just a grey glob of mass ruining everyone's days. Seriously kill yourself or stop being a fucking Grinch.

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https://discord.gg/DfEZq

Talk about some neat things with neat people.
Or don't I'm not the boss of you.

No normalfags allowed.

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Guys this is probably the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me. I was at my girlfriends house tonight for dinner, and shortly after i had to go #2. My Gf's brother was in the downstairs bathroom, so i went upstairs to use the master bathroom. I was about to take a dump, and I remembered something my friend told me called AC Slatering. AC Slatering is when you take a dump facing backwards on the toilet, just how on saved by the bell AC Slater always sat backwards on a chair. So when I was taking a dump, My stomach was facing the back of the toilet, and my back was facing the door. I heard footsteps coming up the stairs, and began to get nervous. Since AC Slatering is a tough position to get into, it requires taking off your pants. So there I am sitting in my GF's parents bathroom taking a dump with my pants off and facing the wrong way on the toilet. My dump was about halfway out when the footsteps became closer. I then turned around to see that I had not locked the door. Trying to finish as quickly as I could, I began pushing harder and harder. Suddenly, the door opened, and my gf's mom stood there in shock staring at me. We made eye contact for a split second, and I was so embarrassed I wanted to die. I quickly finished up, got dressed, and ran out of the house as quickly as I could. I am expecting my gf to break up with me tomorrow. I am so embarrassed and I hope my gf doesn't blabber about this, Ill die if anyone else finds out.

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Okay robots, this is my goodbye thread, a couple minutes from now I'm taking a lot of vicodin and within half an hour or so I should be gone. I made a sad music thread here a couple days ago and someone suggested this.
ama or some shit

> The first time I've felt happy in a long time is knowing I'm about to die

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Summarize in one sentence your perspective on existence and how you think reality works

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Wojak/Wojak appreciation thread? I always felt close to the guy for some reason. Some have even made my eyes water.

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>be me
>be 300lb normie slayer
>wake up 5 in the morning
>tummy growls for tendies and mountain dew
>screech at the top of my lungs
>then proceed to yell
>"THE NORMIE SLAYER HAS AWAKENED NOW HE MUST FEAST ON TENDIES"
>hear mommy sobbing
>I didn't ask for crying I asked for tendies dumb normie bitch
>"THE NORMIE SLAYER SHALL NOT WAIT, FOR HE IS A GOOD BOY"
>still hear mommy crying like a little bitch
>Thats it
>grab my pee and poo jar
>lay on my skateboard (my big bones are to heavy for me to walk)
>surf down the stairs and get a big owie
>start crying
>"MOMMY THIS IS YOUR FAULT YOU LAZY CUNT NOW YOUR BIG BOY IS HURT"
>sobbing gets louder
>bitch doesn't even come to give me kisses
>normie slayer is enraged
>stand up because of my anger strength
>knock down mommy's door
>bitch is screaming in fear
>YOU HAVE BEEN A BAD MOMMY, NOW YOU WILL HAVE TO PAY THE PRICE, PREPARE FOR THE PEE POO DICE"
>take off my diaper throw it at her face
>spin around and shit and piss everywhere
>mommy is begging for mercy
>too late bitch
>throw pee and poo bottle on her
>headshot
>glass breaks on her
>she's knocked out cold
>pick up a glass shard and stab her nipples
>she's bleeding from her head
>go to the freezer and grab all the tendies and stuff them in my pockets
>run go back up stairs to my dojo
>watch mlp for 6 hours while eating frozen tendies
>hear sirens outside
I hope they take my abusive mommy away and give me a new tendie vendor

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Cyberpunk general.

Let us discuss various cyberpunk feels, media, etc.

I know you have nothing better to do.

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Who /boredonweekends/ here?

> vydia not doing it for me any more
> don't want to watch porn, just reminds me of how pathetic I am that don't have a gf to have sex with
> no friends to do anything with
> spend all day on the computer

What am can I do? I'm so bored I don't even enjoy the weekend and if you don't enjoy the weekend you're even more miserable.

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Me trying to get out of a wet shirt