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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 3342. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

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My sister and I would french kiss each other when we were younger. Our tongues touching would make us both feel "funny" and we would just laugh about it.

My parents caught us and said it was dirty, but we would carry on doing it and laugh.

Anyone else do shit like this?
34 posts and 6 images submitted.
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>>38049418
>what you were doing was wrong
That's subjective
>>
no but one time my female cousin touched my dick. another time I ate my male cousin's jizz
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>>38049418
Have you kissed her recently? Why not ask to kiss again?

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I'm 26. I'm gonna lose weight, fix myself up and get my career going. I'm gonna get a gf and hopfully by 32 at the latest, I have a wife.

Not even gonna have giant standards. Just looking for a 5/10 girl who is kind, down to earth, and wants a quiet life. We'll own a modest house outside of the city, own a couple dogs and play computer games together.
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
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I'm 26 and I'm going to continue drinking daily as far as my NEET bux allows til I somehow just die.

Good luck champ.
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>>38049402
You will never reach the age of 32, anon.
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>>38049402
and you want 4chan's blessing?

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Why is this brand EVERYWHERE ON PEOPLE'S FEET?!

>Normies
>Autistically
>Emos
>School shooters
>Trolls
>Etc

Especially the folks here, why the fuck do you wear this shit?

Everyone has this damn check mark logo on their fucking feet. It makes no damn sense to me why the fuck that is. The product isnt always good, people pay twenty times what it takes to make it.

Yet I see it everywhere in people's feet. It makes me so damn angry seeing this shit cause it means I can NEVER stand out or be my own person.

What's the point of trying to me different when everyone else has this shit. I'm sick of seeing everyone wearing this horrid fucking brand
11 posts and 1 images submitted.
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You just don't have a sense of fashion
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>>38049417
Yeah everyone on the planet who wears this garbage has a sense of fashion?

Shut the fuck up
>>
I don't think the logo in itself is appealing.

It's like Google. Everyone uses Google because it's huge, and people are lazy. They're disinclined to try out new search engines, and this makes it incredibly hard for new search engines to succeed. Bing's image search is superior, especially when it comes to porn, but most people remain oblivious to it. Some of Bing's satelltie imagery is much better. Human beings are lazy. So they associate the nike symbol with sportswear, and they can produce a reasonable product. Can you name a single bran other than Adidas that produces sports shoes? I can't.

Anon, why aren't you lubed up? I thought you wanted me to take your virginity?
11 posts and 2 images submitted.
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N-not like this!
>>
stop being a faggot OP

you'll feel better
>>
there's no treasure up there lara not even a nugget pls no

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How do you guys all cope with severe depression?

I just bottle everything all up and don't tell anyone because I prefer to be alone. It results in crippling sadness, but at least I'm not hurting anyone.
10 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>38049382
With a copious amount of drugs.
>>
>>38049382
Coricidin. It's good
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>>38049382
so you get to do what you prefer? i don't see a problem.

i go drinking with my friends.

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Why haven't you became a fireman yet /r9k/?
The best job senpais

>Everyone loves you (unlike those "evil" cops)
>Get respect
>Hang out with bros all day
>Get paid to work out on the job (I even get paid to sleep sometimes)
>Get to drive in the truck breaking all the street laws.
>Very few women to bitch at you.

It's not even as dangerous as people would make you think. I might see a fire once or twice every year or so, most of the time I just help people while we wait for the paramedics to come.
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>38049378
Isn't that volunteer work?
>>
I'm in SoCal so no. Too many dumbass Mexicans starting fires here
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>>38049378
I wanted to, but where I live it's basically impossible to get in unless you have some serious connections.

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>tfw your hemorrhoids came back right before your vacation starts
IT'S NOT FUCKING FAIR FUCK HEMORRHOIDS WHY DOES MY ANUS HAVE TO SWELL UP LIKE A GODDAMN BALLOON AT THE WORST POSSIBLE MOMENT?
10 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>38049371
what does your diet consist of?
does stress cause you constipation?
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>>38049451
This ain't my first hemorrhoid rodeo. I know all the possible triggers and I carefully avoid them but I just have shit genetics that makes them pop up at random sometimes. All I can do is mitigate.
>>
>no pain in butt
>bright red blood when I wipe

please tell me it's still hemorrhoids, I don't have the money to see a doctor

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Why is the male ego so fragile?
37 posts and 7 images submitted.
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>>38049350
killing women doesn't work because you'll make yourself go extinct that way
killing men does because one man can fertilize a shit-ton of women
our egos are fragile because we have to worry about everyone deciding to murder us
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>>38049350
Donald Trump thread
>>
>>38049533

Ancient malaysian saying go "first origami, best origami"

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What's the most gruesome way I can kill myself that would traumatize everyone around me?
16 posts and 3 images submitted.
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shotgun to face.
Or make a shotgun shell helmet wired to the lights so when someone comes home and turns them on, your brains get blown everywhere
>>
grenade in mouth
ringal
>>
Live stream yourself burning alive on facebook.

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roommate stories

> be me
> be uni
> room with probably the most self centered, annoying bitch on the planet
> steals my food constantly & rips my clothes trying to fit into them even though she's got a solid 20 kg on me
> also doesn't care at all about personal hygiene & is happy to have the apartment emulate a dumpster
> forced to put up with this because the local rental market is completely saturated and I can't afford the rent for this apartment solo
> develop some workarounds such as padlocking my door and buying my own mini fridge to put inside locked room, living situation becomes bearable-ish
> then the breaking point happens
> bitch, henceforth referred to as Sally, meets some idiot on fb and after messaging with him for a few days wants him to come and visit for a night
> does not apprise me of this arrangement
> the one rule of our apartment that I actually expect her to follow is to not give keys to anyone without it being a mutual agreement (even my bf of 2 yrs doesn't have a key)
> home alone doing laundry when the lock turns
> WhatTheFuckIsGoingOn.jpg
> tall greasy guy in his mid 30s steps in (Sally is 23)
> reflexively throw bottle of dish soap at him, then grab handset and run into and lock bathroom
> he starts shouting that it's OK, he's Sally's "boyfriend" and that he got invited for the night
> say that I don't care who he is and that he can get out of my apartment or I'll call the cops
> thankfully, he leaves with little fuss and I can continue going about my day
> Sally walks in later and starts screaming at me about how I gave her "bf" a concussion and that she's going to press charges (bullshit, she couldn't afford a candy bar)
(continued)
7 posts and 2 images submitted.
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(continued)
> considering the circumstances, determine with bf that we are ready to move in together (at least temporarily)
> pack essentials and move in that day
> start wondering what to do with the lease
> thankfully, it's in my name because Sally has the shittiest credit this side of the pond
> could go the easy route (evict her and terminate the lease) but decide to have a little fun instead
> put roommate ad on gumtree with fairly enticing signing bonus (deposit and first two months rent waived) but make sure to explain in full detail Sally's bitchiness so people at least know what they're getting into
> after about 2 weeks, snag exactly the right person, herein referred to as Mark
> after talking to Mark for a couple hours, I learn that:
> he's a massive slob and will enjoy not having to care about it
> he mostly eats carryout and never leaves leftovers so the food isn't a problem
> clothes aren't a problem either as he makes Sally look positively fucking anorexic
> furthermore, he's gay and likes to bring home a revolving door of fuck buddies who may stay for a week or more
> basically, I am gonna make Sally live with a male Sally on steroids
> the cherry on top is that he's willing to pay a substantial amount more than half the lease is worth, so I can now goose more out of Sally on premises of equality
> mail him my key after he clears the leasing background check
(continued)
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(continued)
> get panicked call from Sally that evening asking why there's a strange guy in the apartment and how he got a key
> explain how subletting works and notify her of her increased rent effective immediately
> hang up when she starts screaming
> over the next few days, receive flurry of progressively more desperate texts and voicemails detailing Mark's activities
> apparently, she is now cleaning the apartment like a slave because he doesn't care and having to deal with the constant presence of his (apparently equally disgusting) fuck buddies
> notice next month that her rent check is some quid short
> text Mark and tell him that if Sally doesn't make up the money and pay next month's rent in full, I'll give him the right to move her shit out and change the locks
> he presumably apprises her of this because I get about fifteen voicemails over the next hour
> fast-forward about three months later, the incessant messaging from Sally has all but stopped so I assume she's either killed herself or made peace with Mark
> then she calls at like 1 AM out of the blue
> decide to answer for shits & giggles
"HOLY FUCK, you finally picked up, you NEED to get him out of here, this is completely unlivable" blah blah blah
> "yeah, guess it's a bitch when people give keys to the apartment to weird fucks you don't know"
> hang up
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>>38049207
7.5/10 i want to fuck mark

Why aren't you gay yet /r9k/? What's holding you back from sucking some cock?
75 posts and 10 images submitted.
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>>38049170
>Why aren't you gay yet /r9k/? What's holding you back from sucking some cock?
not having a bf

lack of bf is the largest problem in my life
>>
Instead of trying to find girls you now have to find guys

Instead of people hating you for actual reasons, people hate you on principal that you suck dicks

Aids

Being gay is playing on hard mode
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>>38049170
I tried it and it's nasty

When was the last time you washed your bedsheets?

Hardmode: True robots that don't use sheets.
6 posts and 3 images submitted.
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am I the only one who realizes washing clothes/sheets/towels takes only a few minutes and they feel better when they're clean?
why would anons avoid doing this?
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>>38049169
I love when i can reach in my closet and pull out a fresh, hanging, non wrickled shirt.

Also this thread had me remember to put my clothes in the dryer.
>>
>>38049144
One day ago.

I try to wash them every week or every two weeks.

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>tfw no friendzoned bf
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>38048878
I'm friendzoned right now. Why would you want to do this to somebody? Being strung along feels horrible.
>>
>>38048878
i got horribly firendzoned by girl i fell desperatly in love with
last year i came outwith it to her etc.
so one time i was super upset about an unrelevant thing and i accidently let a bit of rage out on her
but she saw it as normaly bc she knew that i was upset and thought nothing about it
the next day i realize that i should have done this so i stand up and shower
i go to 2 flower shops to get some nice flowerst bv i want to apologie personaly to her (fuck this girl really made me move)
just to realize that its sundy and no shop was open so i stole some pretty flowers from a random garden only to be rejected at the end
so after a while i gave up
i never was sp strongly in love with someone
i mean i instantly jumped up to get flower for an apologise


one yeat later im invited to a party of a good friend but i also know that she + many poeple i dont like are there so i dont go
1 week after that i hear that the friend who invited me was making out with her
even though i thought that i was over it this cracked up a fucking wound
my heart fellt like it would blee it was fucking hurting
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>>38048878
OXYMORON!

unoroiginal

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oy vey, stressful day anons
ran out of my insulin, could have died
and ontop of all that, keep getting nexted by qt's on omegle, could my life be any worse
10 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>38048859
how do you run out of insulin without remembering to get more?
also type 1 or type 2?
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>>38048859
Julius stop posting you faggot go get a girlfriend in real life.
>>
shut up TJ

Rawrr xD
7 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>38048845
am I missing something here?
>xD
is this ironic or unironic?
>>
normalfag, originally get off this board
>>
Rawr! Hehehe, hi Uncle Anon! What are we going to do today?

O R I G A M I


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