Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 8778. page

>A pound is 3500 calories

Nigger the fuck are you on about? If you eat 1000 calories a day you will lose weight, but your logic on why is all fucked up.

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I just have depression and only eat toast

Works pretty well

>>35264469
Dude... you need to take a multi vitimin or something. Vegetables are pretty important.

>>35264288
WELCOME BACK

PRESS S TO SUCK THIS ROBOTS DICK

>>35264288
Same me too holmes, aint it great

>>35264314
>SLAMS S KEY

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>>35264288
NEET Party robots! Bring out your finest wine and autism!

>>35264285

she is really gross.

>>35264317
I thought he would be grosser though.

>nosering
>choker
>fat
What a prize. She'll still cheat

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>>35264270
That's happened to me three times.

>at grandparents house
>laying in the floor fapping with the shower on because I didn't like to stand up and do it
>nearly deaf grandpa doesn't hear the shower running, and doesn't feel like knocking
>he opens the door halfway, then slams it
>he mumbles out "sorry, didn't know someone was in there"
>I still finished because why not
>thankfully he never brought it up

>fapping at my computer in my bedroom
>didn't lock the door because I'm lazy
>just as it's getting good, my brother and sister bust open my door for a surprise visit
>I was lightning quick in hiding my dick, and managed to hold a normal conversation
>still not sure if they noticed or not
>they didn't seem to

>fapping at computer again
>still don't lock my door, because I'm dumb and no one was there
>I start cumming into my hand
>at that exact second my mom busts open my door and asks me if I want to go out to eat
>have to have a normal conversation while having an orgasm
>wipe my hand on my pants
>they're ruined
>I think she smelt it, because she told me to come down when I'm ready, and left in a hurry
>thankfully, never brought it up though

People need to fucking knock. Whenever I ask them to knock, they just do a quick double knock and open the door. Then when I try to tell them to wait until I come in, they just laugh. It's like they want to catch me.

>>35264575
that's some bad luck mate.

i have another which is hella lot creepy

>around 12-14 years old
>watching some tv show in my room while fondling my weewee in my hand
>sitting on my bed, bed is by the door
>look at the door behind me, its open, my father is standing at the doorway.
>hes just staring, not making a sound
>i have no idea how long hes been there
>he leaves without saying anything.
>never mentions it

wtf?
when will they ever learn to knock?
i dont even know what to think of my father but i sure hope he burns in hell or equivalent.

>fapping on my computer
>mom says she needs to check something
>say okay
>delete tabs
>she gets on the computer
>FUCKING KIM POSSIBLE SPREADING HER PUSSY
>OH FUCK
>she checks her thing and walks past me not saying anything

that pepe looks like a turd LMAO

I wouldn't say friend but I used to work with a black dude and he was pretty cool. Took me to KFC once for lunch then while in the queue he said "I bet you've never went to KFC with a real nigger before"

Don't know what ever happened to him

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>>35264263
One time, at a middle school track meet, a black girl from the inner city school we were racing told me "Get out of the way, cracker!"

>>35264236
>mid thirties
>on a Aegean seafloor vacuuming discussion forum

wew

Sell family, fuck house, eat job

>>35264236

you could just wageslave for 20 more years until you can retire and become a shameless NEET

>>35264228
You can die, I guess. It's just insulin.

There's some evidence that dietary change can improve it
Go search googlescholar

>>35264266
Is it relatively painless?

>>35264224
>''HAHA just POTATOING' your exhaust pipe!'
lol

Your like is like a living meme. Haha

>>35264330
its not funny, leave me aone

>>35264221
Post pics so we can judge
'Riginal

>>35264221
Hi, human with vagina here. Nah, baggy clothes are nice, especially pajamas. Do you mind if I ask a question? Do you want to be a girl or just be free to feel "feminine"? Either way, I hope you enjoy your cute new clothes. :)

>>35264396
thank you! for me it's a little of both, but I feel more comfy with feminine things over masculine things

You could put it differently so you don't have to lie

For example instead of shitposting you could say you are a creative writer of satirical stories

As for vidya, I am not sure how to make that sound good

>>35264215
I like reading and watercolour painting. I started playing tennis last summer too.

I just tell people who ask that I'm into bug hunting and speed strawberry picking. They laugh it off and we continue joking around. They don't actually give a shit about my hobbies just like how I don't care about theirs.

Think about it. What kind of stupid question is "What are your hobbies" anyways? It's such a loaded question. I am not statically a fucking interest machine, fuelled to keep your attention. Eat my shit, normie.

Maybe, but that's cute anyway

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>>35264196
>am I autistic?
no you are cute ^_^

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>>35264203
>>35264227
Seriously? Thank you anons.

>>35264106
>healthy pizza
I don't think such a thing is even possible

I suggest to start cooking your own food, it might grow on you and you can make it healthier maybe even better tasting

No matter how healthy you try to make your order, it's going to be predominantly simple carbohydrates in the crust and a good bit of fat in the cheese, unless you pile vegetables the fuck on it's not going to be good for you

>>35264157
>le fat is bad meme

lol xD

>>35264053
Only because you're an abomination of a psuedo mechanical organism who is an affront to religion.

HA! Jokes on you, ya stupid theist! God doesn't exist, so he CAN'T hate me!

I miss physical intimacy

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>>35264036
If you're serious and were recently diagnosed with autism, know that it's just a diagnosis, just words attached to the person you already were. You're the exact same person, capable of the exact same things as you were pre-diagnosis. Effectively, it changes nothing. Take that as you will.

Or act like your life is over, and blame all of your shortcomings on your diagnosis. That's a pretty popular path around here.

>>35264120
i'll choose the latter until i die

now at least i have an excuse for TFW NO GF and REEEEEEEEing indiscriminately at mom and cat

>then

absolute twat.

The fuck are you on? Now it's easier than ever.

>>35264339
This, 20s is far easier than high school was. Chicks come onto me now