Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 8445. page

>>35406668
Cont...

>prepare Note: "Hey 'Stacey', there's something waiting for you outside, it's ok to say no"
>that gets slid under her door by Team A
>team B hangs the A4 sheets on a string in front of the block
>me dressed up in expensive coat, shaven, standing outside
>flowers in right hand
>ferrero Rochers in the left hand
>20 people standing outside the block waiting for reaction
>can hear her coming out
>nervous.avi
>can hear "I don't know what you guys doing but I have a boyfriend"
>fml, just fml
>she comes out, crowd cheering, she annoyed but blushing
>eyes meet I smile, she doesn't, chuckles a bit
>comes close to me
>"These are for you, I like you, let's go on a date"
>-"Listen, this is very cute and all but I have a boyfriend so.."
>never wanted chase down my sorrow with bleach as bad as at that moment
>say it's fine, give her flowers and chocolate
>get back to my room, down 0.5 vodka
>team B comes to calm me down
>two weeks later
>rival bangs her albeit she has bf

2/?

>Be me
>Be at Uni
>20th of April
>yeboi.avi
>go to lectures then meet with weedbro
>get some kush and go to woods
>snacks, dank, Pineapple Express on the laptop
>had to climb over the fence to get to the nice spot
>watch Pineapple Express, smoke, good time
>car pulls over not far away from the fence
>ohshit.jpg
>hide doobies, weedbro's calm, I panic
>"Top of the morning to you lads, how did you get here?"
>he was checking for the holes in the fence as this area is uni's property
>"I am not bothered if you are here though lads"
>High me says: "Sorry if we are breaking the law or anything if we are not supposed to be here"
>Weedbro was about to lose his shit with me
>"As I said I am not bothered guys, just wanted to know if ther are any holes here"
>He leaves, continue smoking and watching movie

Till the end of the year weedbro would remind of this and call me a pinnecale of retardation

Cont..

>>35406714
...cont:

>get back to accomodation later in the evening
>Snort speed and play games
>Hour later start noticing that right side of the face is numb
>so is arm and leg
>Self-diagnosed heart attack
>panic, call best friend over
>call an ambulance, extreme panic
>ambulance comes over with campus security
>security and medics start making jokes as if I am caught with drug posession and going jail
>getting examined in the kitchen
>remember that I left 3-FPM and a rolled up banknote on the table in the room
>"could we have your ID please, sir?"
>-"It's in my room.."
>best friend goes and gets it, just before security offers to go and get it themselves
>accepting my doom as I am getting examined
>"It is very rare to have a heart attack in your age sir, nothing to worry about"
>ambulance takes blood, runs some tests
>Diagnose: Migrane
>they leave, flatmates and people from block come over
>"Why is ambulance, what happened?"
>-"Anon had a Migrane and called an ambulance"
>Haven't seen people keking over me like this since 7th grade

I'm leaving to go be with her a bit. Please help me with some sage advice before I get back.

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I don't know what to tell you but it was due to happen some day. Every living thing has to go through this and you and the other dog will continue the journey of life.

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>>35406544
i have no advice but you have my sympathies anon

>>35406535
Tell me what happened, buddy

Do you mean everytime i leave this room to try spending time with family?

Fuck's sake, and then they ask why i spend 15 hours every day playing vidya.

Greentext it OP

org

Because 'murrica that's why

Because who would hire the prosecution? Isn't the plaintiff typically the state or county?

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>>35406470
The victim or their family?

>>35406393
>Implying either/or would ever settle for me

>>35406393
White girls are entitled cunts who will never appreciate you. Go back to /pol/ with that "muh white goddess" bullshit.

>>35407246
as opposed to subhuman chimp women with flat noses who see you as a fetish and "upgrade"

>>35406347
Is it you op?

>>35406347
It's obviously the middle guy, he's the ugliest one in the photo and the shortest guy

>>35406347
It's this pic again and I still don't know the answer, but I guess it's the guy in the top middle. The baby on the right is a proto-robot.

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I told him to give me a kiss and he put his mouth over my nose and exhaled.

>tfw you don't have a wan wan to hug

>have 14 year old dachshund
>pick her up and she will groan
>if she's not in the mood she will give what I call obligation kisses
Literally two licks as if to say, "yes yes, I love you too now put me down".

>Talking to women under any circumstances ever
Why?

>>35406528
>acknowledging when a stacy is in your presence
why x2

>>35406528
She just came right up to me out of nowhere and said it. I don't even know her very well, it was random. I didn't want to spurge out and just say no so I humored her and looked up the profile. That was a mistake.

I am disgusted. Originally.

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>>35406307
How did you manage to not throw up.

>>35406307
>chicken strips medium rare
This is natural selection in progress

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>>35406181
>A qt mahou shoujo will never save you from that abomination

>>35406181
I lose my virginity while simultaneously fulfilling both my monster girl and vore fetishes? Sign me the fuck up

Thad ? mad thad ? i think he's in jail for another year. lurk more

>>35406180
I think you mean Brad, Chad's slightly more beta but still generally alpha cousin.

>>35406180
>Is he the most robot of the group?
>he doesn't know Brad's the covert cyborg who sneaks off and watches anime after Tracey goes to bed
Being lowest on the totem-pole, Thad is a normie tryhard who ends up even more straight laced than Chad.

>>35406170
Who fucking cares? How are we supposed to help?

>>35406194
Give your money away to some anonymous guy to buy the poor women some iphones because that's the 'right' thing to do

>>35406194
>how are we supposed to help?
gib money pls

No. You people are one of the most hateful and edgy teenagers on the internet.

>>35406175
some aren't :^)

nobody bump

Sure thing man. Anything for a bro

Yes please

Who wouldn't???

Jesus, she looks like she's made of plastic, how could anyone find that legitimately attractive?

Also those tits are fake as fuck, so no I don't want to succ.

>>35406008
That's a nice fantasy, anon.

bump

>>35406008
I am sure this is a TrueStory.jpg OP
kek

Then Anon woke up