Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 10348. page

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These two men enter a room

Only one survives

Who comes out alive?

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What can i do for 7 hours during the day so my dad will think im at work?

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I'm 27.

How much more can I expect my dick I grow? I'm 5'' right now and hoping go get to 6''.

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So y'all really tryna say he's sexist with this ASS?

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What would be a nice name for my band, amigos?

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>4chan is one person

dear god

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EAT ME OUT ANON!!!

*bbbBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPpppppppptttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttthththththth*

LOL TAKE A WHIFF ANON TEEHEE

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Only alpha males get to experience virgin pussy. For you, all that's left are roasties.

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>driving with Chad in his car
>he has coke and we are doing bumps
>he spots floozy walking down street, honks at her
>she's 8/10 in sexy overalls
>she waves back, he tells me to talk to her
>I sperg out "nice day malady, where are you headed?" or some bullshit
>she's going to the liquor store she says and Chad ask her if she wants a ride
>she says yes and gets in, I move to the back, her name is Leila
>were driving, talking ask if she wants a bump, she says yes
>get to liquor store and ask for her ph#
>Chad blurts out, Buy some rubbers while you're in there and well get a motel room and beer.
>she laughs and comes out with beer (and condoms)
>she gets in he car and we drive to a motel
>we get a room with a jacuzzi in the floor
>me and her get in, get naked, she gets on top of me and starts riding my dick (no condom)
>we move to the bed and I fuck her for awhile, and then Chad goes
>we do more coke and more fucking (with condoms)
>5am comes and I have to be at work at 7, Chad drives me home
>Chad drives a truck for a window company up and down the state and left on one of these trips
flash forward 2 days later
>Get text from Chad, asking to meet him at his job
>turns out he took this girl WITH him!
>been fucking her in the back of the truck every few hours
>had to buy her clothes so she would have clean clothes!
>now Chad is pulling into work, would get fired when the boss sees this girl in the truck
>I go meet him near his work at 6fuckingAM and pick the girl up
>take her back to my room at my moms house
>snuck bitch through garage mom leaves in an hour or so for work
>fuck her again (no condom)
>Chad comes by and takes her away
flash forward 2 weeks later
>telling the story to a friend named Gabe
>describe girl, where we met her
>He asks if he name is Leila, IT WAS
>Gabe says, she is married & has 2 kids & AIDS!
>WTF!
> shows me a picture of her. it's her
>Called Chad we both freaked out
>getting AIDS test at clinic tomorrow

pray for me robots

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>cant say my own catchphrases without getting triggered into remembering an old mate
>have the strongest urge to bite my tongue off to prevent myself from talking to people
>my imaginary friend is a fucking asshole that keeps telling me to off myself
>Linx mint is fucking up again and I can't be bothered to switch to a different distro
>still thinking about my trap ex and how he mistreated me and never loved me
>literally no outside communication besides forums like these
>am hungry.
>but at least I have my waifu

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I'm so tired of this life.

I'm so tired of playing this character for everyone.

Also manlet suicide plans thread.

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>prank my sister by pushing her into the pool
>She instinctively gets into a diving position, causing her to hit the bottom and break her neck in a freak accident
>Says she forgives me, but still feel horrible

How do I forgive myself? It's already been two months and I'm ready to move on. I don't want to live my whole life bogged down by negativity.

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>another day wasted on /pol/ /b/ /rk9/ and /g/ instead of socialise with women/people irl.

4chan is one of my problems.

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What companies do robots like the most?

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>be me in class
>someone sneezes
>9/10 cute girl 2 seats beside me says 'bless you'
>desperately try to will myself to sneeze
>cant do it
>quietly grind mechanical pencil lead into dust
>only 1 person notices
>try to discretely sniff them
>qt turns and looks directly at me
>massive snort out of panic
>end up furiously coughing for a minute
>half of the class is wondering what the fuck happened to me
>manage squeeze out a pathetic sneeze towards the end
>qt doesn't say bless you

Do you think she saw what I was doing? What could I have done differently? All I want is just ONE attractive girl to acknowledge my existence.