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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 557. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

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>"...and then anon showed me his dick, and it was, like, ugh! So gross..."
14 posts and 1 images submitted.
Whats the name of the gril on right? I know kimmy granger on the left
jokes on you I wouldn't be looking for a stacy bitch like that but rather someone reasonable based on myself and my personality : )
I brought a girl home from the club the other night and tried to fuck her for 3 hours while drunk as fuck.

>tfw whiskey dick

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is being a locomotive engineer THE robot job?
>not forced to socialize beyond a basic level
>one year's worth of training to get the job
>spend most of your time sitting in the cabin
>long, 30+ hour trips, perfect for a khv with no friends
>get five weekdays and a weekend off PER MONTH
>around 60k starting
Why haven't you pursued a train career yet, robots?
20 posts and 2 images submitted.

I am lol. The railway in Canada I originally applied in June, then they sent me a test in August and havent heard from since.

Who knows.
How the fuck do you get in on this? I'll go full train autist if the job is that comfy.
you have to do well on the tests anon. as high as possible.
After you complete conductor training, you can stay a conductor, or bid an engineer class as they come up. Bidding on a class just means a group of guys put in the paperwork trying to get into an engineer class. They go in order of seniority, so the guy with the most seniority gets in. Seniority is everything on the railroad; when you hire out as a conductor (or carman, machinist, any job on the railroad), you get a date, and if a guy has you by one day, they get the job before you. The guys with 30+ years on the railroad get the better jobs, pay or schedule-wise, just because they have a better seniority date. As guys retire, you have fewer guys in front of you, and have a better chance of holding the good jobs.

The only caveat is that once you bid on an engineer class, you either pass it, or you're out of a job. There's no going back to being a conductor if you fail, at least on the railroad I work for. This adds considerable stress. I was very fortunate to get into a class very early, pass, and establish my seniority as an engineer. To complete the engineer training I had a Mechanical test, General Code of Operating Rules test, Air Brake and Train Handling test, and several simulator runs, each one requiring a score of 90 or above. You also have 16 weeks of OJT, or on the job training, where you go out and learn your subdivision.

So, coupled with the conductor training, and the engineer training (which is about five to six months) you have just under a year of total training. You come out of engineer training with a federal license to operate a train.

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>she called me "bro". Twice.
It's over, lads
8 posts and 1 images submitted.
>she called me

You have to go back
my gf and i call each other "bruh"
it doesn't mean anything.
t. Butthurt Virgin upset that a woman chose to acknowledge OP's existence, even in a sisterly way

Why are blacks so underrepresented in chess?
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
Because white moves first.
I'd like to learn how to play. My grandfather tried to teach me, but that was long ago and he was mentally insane.
This would be a great bait and slide thread for /pol/. Just throwing that idea out there, OP.

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should I go get wine
9 posts and 2 images submitted.
A terrible predicament to be in. This is why most people just buy a few bottles each grocery trip. Eventually you build up a decent collection of bottles to choose from and never get caught in a bind.
Do you want to have wine?
yes but ive been drinking everyday

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im really stinky
7 posts and 3 images submitted.

go shower
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i hate the word stinky so fucking much

>tfw 26
>good looking however
>good job
>but socially inept and no friends, therefore nogf
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
>good looking
fuck off Chad
go on Tinder and slay
>no friends
>shit job and meme degree

What the fuck are you doing wrong? How can you be that much of an unpleasant person that a literal gene-let like me can reproduce with a roast?
why is every "robot" supposedly tall and good looking? why do you guys think you are good looking? I have seen how truly good looking people are treated, it doesn't matter if they are socially inept people flock to them anyway.

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If you were going to kill yourself, what lyrics would you close your suicide note with?
14 posts and 5 images submitted.
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I know
I know I've let you down
I've been a fool to myself
I thought that I could live for noone else
But now
Through all the hurt and pain
It's time for me to respect
The ones you love mean more than anything...
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Makin' my way downtown
walking fast
faces past and I'm homebound
Staring blankly ahead
Making my way, making my way
through the crooooowd
(duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh)
And I need you
(duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh)
And I miss you
(duh duh duh duh duh duh duh duh)
And now I wonder
originalmente delicioso

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Okay, so I beat my dogs because I hate them and I've decided to seek treatment because I'm worried about its impact on future relationships. But what happens when I tell a counselor this? I'm worried I'll be imprisoned if I tell. Are you allowed to tell counselors you've killed dogs before?
19 posts and 4 images submitted.
why do you have dogs if you hate them?
they're my mother's. i beat them for fun and to vent.
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This. Wtf were you thinking, OP?

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>be me
>good looking but have some acne scars
>one of the best looking girls in my class starts texting me
>she's really a mexican waifu
>Sends pictures about her outfit
>she sits next to me in microbiology
>makes leg on leg contact
>heart starts to bump and i almost pass out
>she hugs me but is unaware about my almost passing out
>she tells me all her problems
>i text her the same day
>she doesn't reply
Does she likes me reddit? or is it just an autistic delusion of mine. I know this isn't adv but ever since pol turned 4chan into reddit i really don't give a shit.
8 posts and 1 images submitted.
You fucked up, man. Sorry.
You are asking bitter virgins to help you figure out if a girl likes you?
She probably does. Maybe she's nervous, busy, or testing if you will get upset for her not replying. Just keep treating her with respect.
>talks about his reddit normie shit
>ever since pol turned 4chan into reddit
I don't like /pol/ either but can you really not see the irony here

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>Be me 13 starting 8th grade
>First day meet with friends
>New kid wants to join group "Why not"
>Stupid decision
>Kid acting weird not stupid but gay?
>At friend's house smoking weed having fun
>Friends going into pool
>Go upstairs to get changed to high to realize New Kid following
>Drop boxers, dick hanging out
>Door opens "OH SHIT" he pins me
>I kick him off
>I try to get my bathing suit, he pulls it away
>Me:"Get the fuck away dude"
>New Kid:"No, why won't you let me suck your dick"
>I try to get him out of the room by force
>New Kid uses lunge
>I harness the power of Usain Bolt and make a break for the door
>Run outside fully nude and semi erect
>Shit, friend's parents start rolling up the driveway
>Turn around and New Kid is standing there with the molestation face I've grown to fear in these last few moments
>I run at him full force with a look of anger in my eyes
>I run upstairs and lock the door
>Get bathing suit on and wait till parents get in house
>With the safety of parental supervision I walk out
>Wait, somethings wrong, It's not my friend's parents it's my other friends with more weed
>New Kid walks upstairs and tries to pull down my pants
>This attempt is met with failure as I jump over his fatass down the stairs
> Run outside and jump in the pool
So that's where the story ends sadly told my friends about our interaction and he was kicked out and sent home New Kid now has a deep hatred for me and tries to fuck with me in school.
9 posts and 3 images submitted.
Cool! So is this story from five years ago, or are you about to get banned?
>smoking weed

Did your friend have an older brother or someone who gave him weed that young? does the local dealer sell to everyone?
haha epic bro include me in your r/4chan post

edit: thanks for the gold good sir!! :)

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>he doesn't floss his penis
It's like you're not even trying
8 posts and 1 images submitted.
What are the benefits of cock flossing?
I'm glad you asked young man! As time goes on you develop dick residue, or "penis plaque" as it's known medically.
Does it leads to recession of the glands?

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>Samefag in a thread
>Make sure to cover my tracks so they don't know it's me
>Still get called out for it by other anons
>Thread dies

>Enter another thread
>See some anon posts a "witty" reply to the OP
>Literally dozens of posts that are just him obviously samefagging (They're all at least a minute apart, each)
>No one calls him out on it
>Some people actually start replying to his post to be "ironic", giving him more (You)'s
>Thread stays up for hours and everyone has a good time

10 posts and 1 images submitted.
Yeah I know the feeling OP
Let this be the only comment cuck this guy out of (yous) again saged
You know it OP! We can't keep letting this happen

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>tfw you won't get drafted to fight in the upcoming WWIII because you're already on autismbux and considered legally disabled
Have fun with those trenches, war-wagies.
7 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>not wanting to get drafted
Maybe it will all finally end

Nice try cannon fodder. I've got a doctorate (a useful one).

Government has invested too much in me to let me fight.
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>mfw an Amerifat died for oil near me

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Describe your health and fitness. Advice and motivation is appreciated.

>14+ hours a day at this PC
>diet consists mainly of meat and bread
>almost never exercise
>haven't regularly exercised since 5 years ago
>high resting heart rate
>shower fast so I don't have to look at my body
12 posts and 1 images submitted.
> 8+ hours at the PC
> diet moderately varied, but mostly fast food and Subway
>no vigorous exercise but take walks at night and swing on the swings at the park when no kids are around
>BMI 22 - smack dab in the middle of the healthy range
>fat likes to collect around the thigh region for some reason, but I'm pretty happy how not-fat I am despite my lifestyle
>major problems with face and personality though
>normal bmi
>want to lose 15-20 lbs though because fat has acumulated around chest, abdomen, and lower back
>lift 5-6 days a week for 2 hours at a time, do cardio when I feel like it
>diet is high in carbohydrates and crappy junk food, which is why I am sort of fat
>use food as a coping mechanism for depression and lonliness
I feel hungry and empty all of the time, and I often stuff myself beyond the point of discomfort. I hate that I do this, and I know that I need to fix my diet in order to be more successful in my fitness goals, but something in my brain just won't click.
>perfect bmi
>went wholefood vegan and stopped my high blood pressure and high resting heart rate
>vegan diet also cleared up my skin, and makes me more generally athletic (I always feel strong)
>had to take time off from the gym and the weights but I'm still lean, and healthy-looking
I can't wait to get in the weight room again, though.
>100-rep barbell shrugs, here I come!

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