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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1440. page

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Where's our next Elliot? I'm bored. I know you're reading this right now. Can you hurry the fuck up so we can be entertained.

>would be funny if we had a new columbine happening every week
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
Many potential Elliots kill themselves before getting to his stage.
Are you mentally retarded? That only would bring more brain dead normalfags here. Where were you during the Oregon shooting? This place was in shambles. The only funny thing to come out of it was that plenty of news sources thought that Eggman did it when we told them that.

>he thinks the place isn't already in shambles

You just revealed you're the retarded one

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>currently in an airport waiting to get on a plane for Vancouver

What can I expect over the next week I'll be there?
10 posts and 1 images submitted.
A lot of fucking opioid addicts and Chinese people.

Why are you coming to my city?
Are you a chink?

What are you planning to do there? I've lived in Ottawa for my whole life and have only been as far west as Niagra
Subhumans, drugs, everything is expensive, lots of traffic, lots of humidity

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>fatfags will actually defend wanting to fuck this
14 posts and 3 images submitted.
Damn she thicc like a milkshake
Guess who she's married to. Hint: it has alot of melanin
What the fug, I set this to be a spoiler.

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Just found out I have a phimosised penis.

For those who don't know what that means it is just more forskin than is normal.

It can also mean the forskin is dificult to pull back but luckily I don't have this issue.

Any uncut robots out there like me.
7 posts and 2 images submitted.
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What is it about /r9k/ that attracts so many guys with phimosis? I have it too and I see threads about it semi regularly. Are all phimosislads doomed to robotdom somehow?
literally every guy with a foreskin has phimosis when young, it's like the male version of a hymen

just gotta keep stretching it, you're supposed to start naturally as a teenager when you begin masturbating/getting boners
I stretch mine regularly so it dosnt hurt and is not to tight but there is just a lot of it even when at full mast

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you play an instrument right robots?
32 posts and 6 images submitted.
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I'm learning to play one, that counts r-right?
go practice
Tin whistle, yeah.

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Can I have a definition of Stacy?
15 posts and 2 images submitted.
hurrb durrr

thats you dude
thats what you sound like
I need an exact definition
Urban dictionary probably has it

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>3 snickers bars
>1 family sized bag of crisps
>5 slices of pizza
>2 ring dings
>1/2 can of frosting

Does it get better?
15 posts and 3 images submitted.
Not dying of heart disease
wtf is a ring ding?
Hmm sounds like you need a better diet.
Does your current diet ever give you wet gas?

Suicidal femanons how do I maintain a relationship with a suicidal femanon who is mentally fucked but loves me.
7 posts and 2 images submitted.
Make her feel like she does something in life, make her feel as if she has value (buy her something nice, it'll help her feel like she's worth something), give her a reason to get out of bed, give her stuff to do
She probably just wants to feel like she's worth something to someone and that someone needs her
Suicidal roasties tend to be the type to have 50 boyfriends in one year.
Their low self-confidence means they will try to leave you over the smallest of things.
Make sure you're there and available, somedays she's not gonna want to talk about and just wants a normal conversation, but be there for her if she has a breakdown. Also remember: if a suicidal person suddenly acts really happy and upbeat it means that they might actually be killing themselves if you doubt you can teak it out just call the cops.

>class starts
>it's penis inspection day

What do you do?
9 posts and 4 images submitted.
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What the fuck is penis inspection day?
What kind of rapey fucking school did you go to?
>he didn't go through penis inspection day
lucky lad
can't tell if you're homeschooled or non-american

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>be me
>have guinea pig
>name him Starks after tony starks in iron man
>i like iron man
>get injured on the job one day
>my insurance doesn't cover my injury
>don't get proper care
>permanent irreversible damage that impedes on daily tasks
>can't work
>husband gets tired of taking care of me after a year
>leaves and takes half of everything
>mfw Starks is all i have left
>take care of starks as much as i can
>he's the only reason i keep going
>the big bag of food i use to feed him runs out
>he needs new bedding
>i can't afford it
>mfw i can't work, husband left me, and i can't even provide for the last thing i love
>pic related
16 posts and 2 images submitted.
Damn that made me sad, I hope the little fella finds a new home.
> husband left me
But you do know where women/fags belong, so I expect you to get going in that general direction.
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i wanna buy him but i still live with my parents (still in high school) and idk if they r cool with me randomly buying a guinea pig also she's listing him for $75 :(
Maybe find a summer job, that should cover it. The price seems a tad too high tho, maybe there are some extras coming with it. Also literally what the fuck happened to this board, first women now underage kids, at least its not another trap thread, thank god for that.

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>can't even see a realistic way to fix my life anymore
14 posts and 3 images submitted.
I'm sorry anon.
I'm also probably completely irredeemably fucked
it's a weird feeling, like being trapped in a box with water coming up around you and knowing that there's nothing you can do
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>when you already know there's literally no realistic way to fix your life

It's a depressing feeling, but a little bit liberating in a weird way.

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>August 1, 2017

The clock is ticking. How are you going to make this month the start of your epic comeback?
67 posts and 18 images submitted.
goddamn it, every month I know this thread is coming and it still gets me every time

new semester of college, this time I'm hoping to fix the perfectionism that's crippled my productivity. Also only taking 10 credit hours
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>2020 is less than 3 years away
>Closer to 2030 than to 2003
My comeback's been in motion since when you or a different timeposter posted something similar back in May.

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> started lifting weights, eating healthy, no fap
> all to impress a girl at work
> having nice conversation with her and she dropped the B word.
> smiles and continue conversation and finish long day of work
> go home and ain't even mad, just feel numb and empty like i got hit by nihilism bomb
11 posts and 4 images submitted.
What the fuck is the B word?
Keep lifting.

Keep being nice to her.

Be the better man and steal that bitch.
>all to impress a girl
how much of a beta can you be?

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Any guy here desperate enough to be my sugar daddy and buy me stuff? I'll give you attention and love
9 posts and 1 images submitted.
Just put an ad on craigslist. You'll have a dozen thirsty responses inside ten minutes.

That said, if you're whoring yourself out for money, you don't get to be picky. Whatever guy is willing to pay for access to your vagina is guaranteed to not be attractive or charming enough to get it for free.
Yeah I'm desperate enough Stacey, please pick me! Oh god I've never felt the touch of a woman :'(
hang yourself roastie, k thanks, bye

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>tfw no slob belly gf to pamper like an empress
crashing the immobility thread with no survivors edition
20 posts and 14 images submitted.
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Something tells me we'll be the only two people in this thread. Anyway, I love slob belly gfs!
Um. You there? I would really like to talk about slob belly gfs.
I can appreciate slob

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