who /ready to fucking die/ here?
If you said no, think of a really embarrassing memory and then tell me if you still aren't ready to die.
Grass is greener town
I live in a town that us opposite from other r9k towns
No blacks here..if you look at our census there are 0 no Mexicans either.
No whores...it's hard to find a woman who have had more than 2 partners if even that. Not hard to find a girl who is a virgin after 20 or 25.
News travels fast so if you are a whore or you do something differenT. Then the whole town will know by tomorrow.
No internet access. So no online gaming or Netflix or streaming
All this from a small Oklahoman town
>News travels fast so if you are a whore or you do something differenT. Then the whole town will know by tomorrow.
That's worse than whores and blacks and mexicans
collectivism is the root of all evil
Asian women love white losers. Why haven't you virgins found an Asian gf yet?
We should get a good joke thread going, I'll start with one of my favorites:
A guy is driving around the back woods and he sees a sign in front of a broken down, shanty-style house: "Talking Dog For Sale." He rings the bell and the owner appears and tells him the dog is in the backyard.
The guy goes into the backyard and sees a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.
"You talk?" he asks.
"Yep," the Lab replies.
After the guy recovers from the shock of hearing a dog talk, he says "So, what's your story?"
The Lab looks up and says, "Well, I discovered that I could talk when I was pretty young. I wanted to help the government, so I told the CIA. In no time at all they had me jetting from country to country, sitting in rooms with spies and world leaders, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping.
"I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years running. But the jetting around really tired me out, and I knew I wasn't getting any younger so I decided to settle down. I signed up for a job at the airport to do some undercover security, wandering near suspicious characters and listening in. I uncovered some incredible dealings and was awarded a batch of medals.
"I got married, had a mess of puppies, and now I'm just retired."
The guy is amazed. He goes back in and asks the owner what he wants for the dog.
"Ten dollars," the guy says.
"Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap??"
"Because the dog's a damn liar. He never did any of that shit."
Nice - here's another one
A salesman's car breaks down in a small town. It's getting late and the mechanic says he can't fix it until tomorrow, so he goes to the only hotel in town. At the hotel bar, he sees a big glass jar filled with fifty dollar bills next to the till with the words "The Bet" written on it. It's nearly full.
He asks the bartender "What's with the jar?". The bartender says "well, it's a local bet. You put your money in the jar, and if you do three tasks, you get the money. If you don't, we keep the cash".
"Wow", says the man, "Tell me what the three things are!"
"Ok", says the bartender, "The first thing: There's a coal miner in town that comes here to drink all the time, Henry Rockhammer. A beast of a man, 6 foot 6, 300 pounds of bad attitude, been to jail three times. You have to tell him his mother's a whore"
"Second", he continues, "out back behind the bar, there's a pit bull named Peaches. She's out back on account of all the kids she's mauled. She's got a gold tooth in the back of her mouth. The second task is to bring the gold tooth back to the bar".
Come share music and shoot the shit in the local meme bar
Here's a rare track by The View you might enjoy
>be normie in highschool
>see qt grill
>strike up a conversation
>she replies nervously
>"oh uh, hey, it's been pretty good s-so far."
>we become friends
Further along the line, found out she's cyborg-status
>"woah hey what website is that?" I say
>"N-NOTHING, IT'S JUS-JUST S-SOMETHING FOR T-TAXES"
>she's red at this point
>"Oh, are you on 4chan? I've been on there a good few times."
>she's relieved that I already know this
>our friendship turns to something more
Turn to a few weeks later, her father dies
By this time, I already turned full-time robot
>we are at the funeral right now
>nervous as all fuck, never been to a funeral before
>"would anyone like to say their part?"
>literally sweat everywhere
>begin to feel heavyweight champion of spaghetti falling out
>"what is it Anon? It's alright if you're too nervous"
>cloak of spaghet is formed
>I yell directly into the microphone
>"GET FUCK'D OLD MAN"
>start running while also crying
>literal mob after me
>turn to now
>28, dead-end job, and hand-holdless virgin
Is there a medical term for this behaviour, robots?
I think I may have fucked up
lol fuck off this isn't your personal fucking blog faggot kill yourself
Imprint it into your conscious.
And realize that you will NEVER know this feel
How does that make you feel, robots?
How do I get a job caring for animals? Are shelters the best bet? I hate people, I want to make animals happy
Volunteer at an animal shelter, easiest way to begin. Finding a paying job w/o having experience or a degree in vet science will be hard (tons of equally unqualified people want the job as well as some qualified ones).
Many community colleges have programs in Veterinary Science, try and get a Pel Grant (I got one for 5k/year as a NEET, my parents making ~90k combined) and get a degree, otherwise just take the volunteer option and maybe you can leverage that exp into something later on
>11 year old sister has been unwell
>parents have been super concerned
>she admitted to my parents she had sex
>they made her do a pregnancy test
>found out she's pregnant
>house is in lockdown mode right now
>parents have been yelling/fighting/crying all day
>tfw all you can think is it wasn't you that took her virginity
Did you grow out of being slightly grossed ou of touching darkskins?
At this moment a very famous person is taking a shit
>will look like an old cuck before 25 yo
Now I'm 19 and it's slightly worse than a year ago
anyone can relate? I hate that fucking premature balding, my dermatologist has given up on me when I told her that many males from my family are bald as fuck. I want to kms, I look "average" only with nice haircut, I had extremely short haircut over a year ago and I was looking like a cancer patient.
Balding literally makes me subhuman. My face is nice only with chad-tier haircut, without it I look like an albino ape.
Anyone can relate?
>Ughhh! Anon is BALDING!
same situation as you anon. Been depressed for 5 years because of that. Feels awful. Planning on killing myself when I find the courage.
>it's the "hair falling out" dream again
>it's the show up late for a test dream where you forgot your pencil or pants
>it's the weak punches dream
I want to get off this ride
what does it feel like to suck on a woman tit ?
>what does it feel like to suck on a woman tit ?
I don't know
I hate drug-dealers.
My drug dealer wants to smoke weed with me every day it's like shit man I'm not that much of a degenerate. When we do smoke he turns into a DUDE WEED LMAO and never shuts the fuck up.
Only known him for a couple months and he calls me his best friend and that we should move into an apartment so we can "host parties and smoke weed 24/7"