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Hello /r9k/ I am a real life wizard who is willing to grant any wish. The only catch is, your wish cannot contain the letter "E". Also you can't shorten words, for example "I wish for all th mony in th world".
Let's see what you got robots.
138 Posts / 18 Images
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I wish I had a good paying job.
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>>36802761
Granted! You will receive a call in a few years.
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I want an Xbox
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Why can't I find an awkward girl I can just cuddle with in bed. I don't even care about sex, I just want someone I can hold tightly in my arms, snuggled up together wearing PJ bottoms, under the covers, listening to music, embrassed in each other. I want someone who cares about me as much as I care about them. Some to hold and love and care about. If only I knew if it felt as good as I'm imagining it to be.
44 Posts / 8 Images
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tfw no femanon to cuddle to sleep
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>>36802614
I'll be your awkward girl to cuddle with. ;^)
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>>36802634
confirmed female (male)
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what are you doing tonight robots?
Im going to start drinking a bottle of rum in a few minutes and get myself drunk then sleep
10 Posts / 4 Images
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>>36802604
I'll sit at home, fap, lurk, then around midnight I'll ride my bike over to the row of bars in this college town and see if I have the guts to talk to someone. Hasn't happened yet, but I've got nothing better to do.
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>>36802604
Nicoposting! All day every day since from the beginning.
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>>36802706
sounds cool, i wish i had a bike or that i could ride my skateboard around midnight in my town
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What does Japanese vagina taste like? Is it good
6 Posts / 3 Images
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>asian women are taller than you
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>>36802589
like rice and old pennies
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I'd really like to have an Asian girl help me find out for science.
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How is /r9k/ celebrating Cinco de Mayo?
17 Posts / 4 Images
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Cinco de mayo party with sorrority girls
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>>36802532
note: people in Mexico do not celebrate this western "holiday."
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I ate a chicken sandwich then I jerked off. Now I'm going to go make a glass of chocolate milk. Have to work tomorrow and Sunday so I can't do too much stupid shit today.
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>have two fans running
>still hot af
Why is my room so hot?!
26 Posts / 2 Images
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>>36802511
holy shit I was just thinking this too,
I'm not gay btw
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>>36802511
Open window, remove clothing, turn off any undeeded electronics, check (nearby) heaters in your building
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>>36802511
Fans don't actually cool down your room, they just help your persperate. Get turn on some air conditioning, if your too poor to have that soak a towel in water and suspend it in front of your fan.
Or just lower your body temp by drinking cold water or going for a swim.
Anonymous
ITT: Things that make you inhuman 2017-05-05 11:31:06 Post No.36802460
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ITT: Things that make you inhuman 2017-05-05 11:31:06 Post No.36802460
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ITT: Things that make you inhuman
Anonymous
2017-05-05 11:31:06
Post No. 36802460
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>seeing myself get fatter is somehow arousing
12 Posts / 2 Images
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>>36802460
I don't actually care about other people and just pretend I do because it would be bad for me if others noticed.
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>>36802671
I'm worried my attempts for caring at humans seem phony and cloying.
But so far there is no one that claimed to know better.
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>>36802671
>t. 95% of the world populace
Anonymous
ITT: We find the biggest sign of a thot 2017-05-05 11:31:06 Post No.36802459
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ITT: We find the biggest sign of a thot 2017-05-05 11:31:06 Post No.36802459
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ITT: We find the biggest sign of a thot
Anonymous
2017-05-05 11:31:06
Post No. 36802459
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>Snapchat Dog Filter
Dare you to beat me robots. Pro-tip, you won't beat me.
27 Posts / 7 Images
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>>36802459
easy
>having orbiters
its just that simple lads
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>>36802481
Ah, but what about that one librarian girl on /lit/ that had orbiters? She was so frightened by them she left the internet.
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>>36802528
But the fact that she spooked and left instead of allowing them to buy her things, etc means that she's not a thot
to truly be an orbiter, you have to be taken advantage of and the girl has to subconsciously want the attention enough to continue talking to them
imo
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There's this guy that keeps looking my way in class but I don't know if he's interested in me or just a coincidence that he looks my way all the time, what does this mean?
14 Posts / 4 Images
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Invite him for burgers and suck his dick behind the fast food joint.
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Kill yourself because he won't ever be really interested in you. /thread
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>>36802462
>>36802438
/s
If you're gonna shitpost atleast make it good.
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I have finally ascended. The voices telll me that I will be sacrificed to the old ones and that I my soul will take off into the universe to find a new body.
Wish me good luck. I will no longer be a robot.
14 Posts / 3 Images
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>>36802163
btw dont go towards the light go the other direction that way you can get reincarnated
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>>36802189
Thanks. Do you have experience with this? I am frightened but still ready. The old ones will consume my body soon so that my soul becomes free any time.
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>>36802163
The old ones have decided to spare you!
Starting today it is your responsibility to avoid anything that could harm you. You have to live on and you have to try to be happy. You also have to discover the person that is close to you. You have to cherish this person.
The old ones have spoken.. Ignore them and everyone close to you will be damned.
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Is it ok to text an ex that you want to talk to again...heres what I have so far.
"Hey I'm squeezing into your inbox one-time to apologize for blowing up. I've sent you various premature bullshit apologies before, but unlike everything that was sent prior to this email, this apology is without any motive or selfish hopes, for the first time:
Simply put, our silly & fun memories are routinely stomped out by memories of my post-breakup actions, which is fucking soul crushing, really.
We all walk through a desert to get to our oasis, and I repeatedly offered a mirage of having water to offer that stunted us both. That lasting negative energy in my memories is just disgusting, considering the experiences we had together. On the level of your "Oh-that's-SICK" updating from Windows 8 kind of disgusting moment. GROSS.
Still, we helped each other write a page in our life stories, but I really believe that rewriting how that page ended might be in order. If you wanna, I'd love to meet up to update - SO much to update holy shit!
Pic is me. I plan on showing her how buff i am now
7 Posts / 1 Images
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"Why do you write like that? I feel like you just gave me brain aids"
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If you wanna refuck your ex, just text her "hey how you been" then when she replies tell her "cool I was curious. haven't heard from you in a while".
It's that simple.
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>>36802027
>email, this apology is without any motive or selfish hopes
If I can see through this lie so will she.
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Hey R9K rate my hand
22 Posts / 10 Images
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>>36802015
You have too long nails
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>red blemish dead center
>long fingernails
>creepy tendons visible
>weird looking thumb
7/10
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Hey, we have the same bathroom floor tiles OP
Anonymous
ITT songs that make you feel 2017-05-05 11:06:58 Post No.36802000
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ITT songs that make you feel 2017-05-05 11:06:58 Post No.36802000
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ITT songs that make you feel
Anonymous
2017-05-05 11:06:58
Post No. 36802000
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Then my loneliness closes in
so I drink a german wine
and drift in dreams of other lives
and greater times
and drift in dreams of other lives
and greater times
and drift in dreams of other lives
and greater times
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9rFpuyZEE3c
30 Posts / 12 Images
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>>36802000
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ESWzPhZWYeI
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My choices are pretty standard but they're what's doing it for me as of late. I don't get pleasure out of music anymore but it tickles the numb sensation.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=64x_RCArfjU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LCJblaUkkfc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xMK7IHF69Sc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pWStaRmuXzY
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mAkgUeJDgQ
>>36802000
DIJ is lovely.
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>>36802000
https://youtu.be/C-yP9f0gadU
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you can do anything you set your mind to always remember this anon
6 Posts / 1 Images
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You're right, thanks.
Now off to start a cult.
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>decide to gain total solipsistic control over reality
you sure?
wait, it doesn't matter about you as long as i am sure
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>>36801794
>you can do anything
What kind of advice is that?
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Anyone else here uses music to make the pain go away? If so what kind of music do you think is the most effective?
I personally find suicide boys and shit like xxxtentacion the best kind to ease the pain
23 Posts / 5 Images
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>>36801690
sometimes when im really sad ill play metallica or megadeth. pretty therapeutic
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I like trance music
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>>36801690
>I personally find suicide boys and shit like xxxtentacion the best kind to ease the pain
normie
>sometimes when im really sad ill play metallica or megadeth. pretty therapeutic
robot