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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 107. page

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>tfw no bf to feminize me with tiddy skittles and make me their perfect girl
26 posts and 2 images submitted.
gwahh stop i want this too and threads like these make me want it even more
Stop making this thread you faggot fucking piece of shit
>>tfw no bf to feminize me with tiddy skittles and make me their perfect girl
Dumb sissy anime boi.

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why do they always end up disappointing?
34 posts and 13 images submitted.
Any girl who claims or acts like she's different from other girls isn't really any different and is probably worse than other girls. Same as girls who brag about being virgins. They've probably had their buttholes blown out so many times that they have to plug it up to keep shit from falling out constantly. Never trust a woman who makes it a point to let you know she's different.
because they /areliketheothergirls/
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>because they /areliketheothergirls/


Meet the electrical engineer that Started Strength, began with the Greeks, and first programmed with assembly. He found himself naturally liking Citizen Kane and Dark Souls and considers them timeless classics that can never be outdone. He is a cryptocurrency multimillionaire with a long sexual history, but is now settled with a Catholic virgin girlfriend that he protects with his custom-built AR-15. He drives a $3000 Honda Civic and cooks at home because he considers himself an automobile and culinary enthusiast.

6 posts and 1 images submitted.
stop shilling cryptocurrencies
Can you pls explain this meme to me. Is this like some kind of autistic-chad?
>this meme
That reminds me, I forgot to add that he consults Loomis regularly for drawing exercises.

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Anon 1: I'm dead.
Anon 2: You look remarkably animated for a cadaver.
Anon 1: No, inside.
Anon 2: Has a woman stolen your heart?
Anon 1: Ha, never!
Anon 2: Why, are you a virgin?
Anon 1: No, but I've only been with one woman legally.
Anon 2: Were the rest prostitutes?
Anon 1: No, I raped them.
[both laugh]
Anon 2: A fine wit you have.
Anon 1: And they say wit is a sign of intelligence.
Anon 2: Well, you've proven them wrong.
Anon 1: I'll have you eat your words.
Anon 2: I could only eat them if they were minced and I'm no butcher. But tell me, why are you so upset?
Anon 1: My dog died.
Anon 2: Was she a bitch?
Anon 1: Yes.
Anon 2: Then what's the problem?

You kinda have to be smart to appreciate it.
8 posts and 1 images submitted.
How many special bombs change?
How many bumps are livin strange
Where were bumps while we were getting dank?

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what would you fags call the opposite of a trap

i.e. a girl who looks like boy

pic related
9 posts and 1 images submitted.
>i.e. a girl who looks like boy
Reverse trap
fuck maybe I should put down the bottle I didn't even think of that

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Why do qt females commit suicide?

they have life in easy mode

pic releated, she killed herself
11 posts and 3 images submitted.
because her Chad's cock was stolen, shame, she could have easily found another one
Because mental illnesses exist.
>why do qt's kill themselves
>they have life in ez mode

i think you answered your own question OP

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why do indian people leave weird comments on porn videos?
12 posts and 3 images submitted.
Like what kind of comments OP, could you share a few?
What do you expect from the people who leave turds on the street like it's everyday bro
They believe they're actually talking to the pornstars in the video

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Every normie asks me why am I so quiet. I have to admit that it is a little annoying. How do I respond to "You're so quiet!" and "Why are you so quiet"? It makes me feel embarrassed and exposed.
10 posts and 2 images submitted.
Could it be that you're a fucking robot?

We are simply different. You can't hide it, you can't lift it away. You will always be you.
Just say "I'll speak if I have something say," it makes you seem super mysterious and epic instead of the virgin loser you are.
Don't forget to smirk and twirl your cape as you vanish.

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>go to dentist
>"you need to take better care of your teeth" every time
>tfw dentist only does the minimum amount of work because government healthcare
>tfw fucked up teeth in my teens from drinking cola and hardly brushing
>dentist expects my teeth to magically heal
>tfw already had four teeth out and not even 30
9 posts and 1 images submitted.
don't be british

I went to the dentist for the first time in 3 years today and only had 3 minor cavaties and 1 normal(?) sized one. The tech who did my xrays and check my teeth was super cute and it just made me sad because I realized I have lost the ability to think someone would ever find me physically attractive
>brush teeth religiously
>still have gingivitis
>tfw gumlet

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> those Japanese cartoon you watch is so fake, it puts unrealistic expectation about women's body. No girl actually look that go-
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
where is it's penis?
What are the other goddessbody webms?
get the fuck out of /r9k/ you piece of fucking gay ass shit. You're one of the reasons that /r9k/ is falling apart. Get your fucking gay ass over to >>>/lgbt/

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So apparently a man by the name "Noisecat", real name "Julian Brave" (ha brave, yeah right) has been e-stalking me for going on a decade now.
The reason I'm posting this here is because I assume he's a moderator for 4chan, since every now and then I'll get anonymous posts on 4chan from someone talking to me specifically as if they know who I am.
This guy has hacked into my onine accounts, possibly my computer, has actually gone so far as to stalk me in the real world.
Do any of the mods recognize this guy?
I checked him on the internet and I recognize him from some forums I used to post on many years ago.
Lmao he writes for salon and huffington post, how appropriate.

Julian, if you happen to see this then answer me.
I'm curious, why the fuck would you dedicate your life to stalking someone so insignificant like me who has never done a thing to you?
Were you bullied as a child, is this how you get revenge for your failure of an existence?
27 posts and 2 images submitted.
Who are you? Post a pic.
Post prove this is actually happening.
You sound genuinely paranoid schizophrenic, not even meming. Get some help man.

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>tfw half the reaction pictures you see on r9k are by you
>have to hide the good reaction pictures cause you know some fags are gonna instantly take them

How do I get it to stop
6 posts and 3 images submitted.
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But it's like a cool trading card game. You have to share what you're passionate about.
You do want to share, right?
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Orihalcian postux
what are the one's you've seen reposted OP?
I wanna know what's popularly stolen

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I've only banged 15 times in my life, and most of which have been one night stands. I'm trying to get laid more frequently, and it seems like it is pretty easy to do MFM (No-male to male contact). Lots of guys these days are looking to share their wife/gf.

Would you take part in an MFM if you found the woman attractive? What is r9k's take on this?
8 posts and 1 images submitted.
No? No robots have ever thought about taking part in this?
fucking degenerates, burn in hell
Group sex is fucking revolting.
Share a bullet with your brain.

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I'll start, lads

>be me
>be a week or two after new year
>best friend invites me over to help with project
>girl is there, about 7/10
>friend is doing film project on J.T.R.
>7/10 is playing prostitute (relevant)
>I be J.T.R.
>we finish film shoot
>she be covered in fake blood and shiz
>she ask me to wipe off fake blood
>wipe it off in bathroom
>takes off her dress
>find out she is desperate for sex
>we close bathroom door
>get down to it right away
>eventually it doesn't feel so good
>foreskin starts stretching back
>back further than it should
>oh fuck I hear it tearing
>tears streaming down my face
>need to get her off me
>quick, anon, think!
>pushes her off me
>she hits her head on the towel rack
>what the fuck did I do that for
>oh fuck I think her heads bleeding
>cock is still in pain
>friend knocks on the door and asks if he can use the bathroom
>friend really likes this girl
>what the fuck have I done
>both of us have to walk out heads hung in shame
>get kicked out
>end up hooking up with the same girl like three more times
>eventually she moves on in the cock-carousel and fucks more of our mutual friends
>mfw it being the most painful experience of my life I still got laid
>mfw she has slept with everyone in our group
>mfw I probably have an STI
18 posts and 3 images submitted.
>Be at party
>Be talking with my best friend (he's orbiting a really cute girl)
>I accidentally spill my drink on her, and I apologize, and she tells me to get some wipes
>I grab her some wipes, and she's standing behind me at the bathroom waiting for me to get the shit off her.
>The orbiter friend is outside of the bathroom, and the door accidentally gets shut; the look on his face is priceless.
>I help her clean her shirt.
>We stare into eachother's eyes and start making out randomly.
>I lock the door and we begin to fuck
>I start doggy-styling her for a good 15 minutes, and it slips out, so I put it back in
>Accidentally start fucking her ass.
>Felt good
>Came on her
>Blood, shit and semen got on her skirt.
>She walked around the entire rest of the night until her orbiter told her about the poo poo running down her leg.
The most painful about my sex experienced is the number: 0
Sex with my (now ex)girlfriend never lost its awkwardness. Trying to put it in while wearing a condom was like trying to feel a coin through a mattress while wearing thick gloves. The thought of not being able to put it in made me lose my erection which would also make it harder to properly put benis in bagina. Cowgirl was the only position we could do.

But if we're talking painful I guess the most memorable would be the time I came inside her and pulled out only to find out that the condom had slipped off during sex. She wasn't on birth control. To go from a feeling of euphoria to a feeling of "oh shit what have I done?" so sudden and fast is like getting punched in the gut. Felt like a fucking idiot for not noticing the condom, but then again I wasn't exactly a master of sex (due to previously mentioned insertion problem). The worst part is that you have to keep on a brave face to make her feel better. Luckily it was in the morning so we immediately went out to buy a morning after pill, but I don't think I've ever felt so scared before in my life.

Spent pretty much the entire weekend looking up info about menstrual cycles, ovulating and birth control effectiveness when she wasn't looking. She went on vacation with her parents the next weekend so I didn't get to see her again until two weeks later. We were getting intimate, she pushed my hands away from her private parts and said she was on her period. First time I was happy to hear her say that.

Would you ever make a black woman your baby mama?
14 posts and 3 images submitted.
No. Would rather a trap or fat white woman who hit the wall.
Maybe that one. But I'd only pump and dump, and I wouldn't do it if she lived in America

>make a trap your baby momma


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