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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 3836. page

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He tried to log into my account. i only have his IP.
78.160.250.22
that asshole better not get near my schmeckles.
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I dunno, everyone keeps telling me spaghetti and ketchup is disgusting. I dunno, the tart of the vinegar causes Lucifer himself to seize and torture your tongue in the deepest depths of hell only for you to be dragged back by the fructose which dances around you in a ritual like manner similar to the cults of old with the spices being the blood and sacrifice to ignite the ritual and to bring you back to your sense and into this world. Once you are back, the flavorless spaghetti dilutes the previous drug of the ketchup so that it does not overwhelm your sense and stabilizes you in the real world just long enough for you to see that the ketchup is everywhere. You then look to the right and see a building of ketchup stretching and grasping towards the sky only to fall ketchup short of it. You notice. Ketchup as the dog. Ketchup as the people whom collar and chain the ketchup dogs. Ketchup as the sun that looks down on all. Ketchup as the clouds. Ketchup as the infrastructure that hold this society together. You then run away, looking for an escape but there is none. Ketchup is all. Ketchup sees all. There is only one god: Ketchup. You see ketchup people everywhere, you run shoving them aside, their bodies turning into mist with each shove. You cry and cry and cry. You are a murderer. Your victims: ketchup. You cry and suddenly you don't care anymore. You run again, destroying all ketchup in your wake. It's dark now and noketchup is left standing. The moon, ketchup, sees all, It intensely stares at you through the clouds of ketchup. Your guilt crushes you. You move left but then right then left again and now ketchup. You fall into a hole. The ketchup moon follows. Its gaze reaches into the hole and illuminates ketchup for you to see. You stare and stare and then, staring back at you, Spaghetti.
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>>37813678
Tldr: op is a ketchupfag

don't pee in the tea
don't poop in the soup
don't cum in the rum
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I agree

Origino Spaghettio

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>using CL's m4w to find the perfect date
>months upon months of posting and no ladies respond
>decide to take a couple of some bimbo's photos on /soc/ and use w4m to see the difference
>go to work for six hours and come back to see the results
>quite literally 70+ messages and counting

I'm not even joking, holy shit. Why is being a woman so fucking easy?
2 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>37813645
because men don't get approached
you literally have to go from page to page and try every single girl
dudes that get laid every night are juggling at least 10 conversations at any time and have to hide it from the other 9 girls or they'll all clam up and call him a creep even though she's doing the same thing except all the people she's messaging approached her

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Why don't you join the Unification Church, bots? You're literally assigned a wife.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Blessing_ceremony_of_the_Unification_Church
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I went to one of their churches and it was the true interracial breeding grounds if I ever saw it. I'll never forget how "friendly" this Japanese lady was being.

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oxy oxytocin potion
and i think im allergic
im six months clean
but i think i deserve to-

sneeze i miss you miss you
come south and relapse with me
if you say no
then I'll just have to stay clean

oxytocin dealer tell me where is my fix?
is it all chemical lies
or is this real dependence?

i know you wanna cause me bloodshed
so enter my veins
and enter my covers
and take my last name

oxytocin cutie you wont go cold again ever
drug facts told me to store you
at room temperature

oxytocin potion
and i want to be sane
so please dont let me believe
i played a chemical game
1 posts and 1 images submitted.
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I have a job interview tomorrow tomorrow. It's to work at a grocery store. Wut do?
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Have a copy of your resume. Also make a cover letter faggot.
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>>37813298
What the fuck is a cover letter?
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>>37813280
Be prepared for a whiteboard interview

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>tfw no tall gf
>no tall gf to rest her Head on your crown
>tall gf will never wrap her long arms around you
>no tall gf to give you chad kids who will very likely clear six feet
>no tall gf to pat you on the head
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>6'0 dad, 5'2 mum
>6'2 uncle on mums side
>turn out 6'0
>gf is 5'3
>she has 6'3 grandpa, uncle, 6'0 male cousin
Should I risk it

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Stop bullying Seattle Mariners fans.
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was jeff mangum the ultimate robot or whatttt guys
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Does it freak anyone else out to know that there are people 30-40+ who post on this board? I had always imagined it was am edgy teens but recently I've seen otherwise.

Especially anime posters, freaks me out to know they're so old
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If you're not at least a 20 something, please leave and stay away from the board or better yet from the site until all the normalfag shit you're busy with like puberty, prom, and class is over. It is for both your own good and the greater good-
teenagers have never made one good post.
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mom let you stay up late tonight, eh?
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>>37813245
>>37813235
Your not helping your image

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>lived in a lot of locations
>lost all long term friends
>thought it was a good Idea to go to univ 7 hours away
>its been 3 years and I never made close friends at school
>Cant ever open up to anyone or form real human connection
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>>37813085
yes. I moved almost every year that I've been in school.
after a while I stopped caring about friends. Didn't matter to me. never cared about gf still don't desu. I did not make a single friend ever since 5th grade. I am well aware that I am emotionless 90% of the time. I'm aware that my voice is extremely monotonous. I never go outside unless I have to. I live like a literal robot, I do what is asked of me and survive while waiting for more things to be asked of me. I never been to a party, drove a car, smoked, got drunk, and i'm a khhv. I'm not blaming my parents for everything but this possibly could have been avoided if I stayed didn't move so much. I could have been a normal person.
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>>37813964
phuck man. I got loads of friends and drink and party. but I still feel like no one actually knows me or genuinely cares about me. is there any hope for us?

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TTHE THOUSAND COCK STARE
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have hairy ass crack
>constantly have to clean ass lint and loose hairs out when I shower
>notice asshairs on toilet paper when I wipe
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everyone has a hairy ass crack unless they shave it you stupid goon
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*unblocks your path*

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What are some ways I can sleep for a long time?

I hate my life, the only time I could possibly be happy are in dreams. While awake, all I do is wait for a time where I'm tired enough to sleep. Sleeping pills barely work anymore, and I can't afford to drink/smoke myself to sleep every night.
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Stop eating and use that money for alcohol instead. You will sleep a lot.
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>>37813014
I eat maybe one meal a day. Hunger pains are part of why I can't sleep anymore. But drinking on an empty stomach does always put me in the dirt which is nice.


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