Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 10022. page

>>34733343
And then you became a whale, fatty. Interesting how the circle of life works.

>>34733343
>be me
>be an autismobot faggot child
>loved whales
>like, love loved them
>would draw whales, play with cut out whales
>often pretend I'm a trainer in the Sea World
>one night I decide to bring my cutout whale into bed with me
>stick whale into expensive pajama pants since im autismo
>hit the right spot
>wewlad.png
>end up masturbating with a paper whale

>tfw I learnt how to masturbate from a paper cut out whale
>tfw I woke up with papercuts on my weiner the next morning

>>34733343
that is 100% adorable

>>34732699
I'm a girl and you're prettier than I am, except for that nose.

Iook at that nose

>transbian

get out

>>34728459
I dont
why do you hate yours

when she allowed the school to administer painful medication to me for years because they said I wasn't beeing a good enough little boy in class

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>>34728459
When she started emotionally abusing me

>>34712414
It can be any size that isn't obviously monstrously huge because women are spatially unaware and can't accurately measure things.

A woman will laugh at any cock especially if you pay them

Please remember that women are ego monsters and really just want to feel better about being themselves and will do whatever they need to accomplish this.

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How the hell is there not a viable penis enlargement treatment? The vast majority of doctors, scientists, and engineers are men, you'd think that would be a top priority. We can give women responsibility-free sex with a pill, why can't we figure out how to grow dicks?

And baldness, for that matter.

D.
Your podcast is awful.
A.

I just wanted to say.

Why do I get weird ass connections to my computer around this time of the month? These are from mexico this time.

Just stop it please. Stop it. It's not her I know that. It's someone that's butthurt that I exist and they want to either find out what I know or some other dumb shit. Everyone knows me and they know what I'm about. I'm untouchable, unbreakable, invincible. You literally cannot do anything to me. I don't know who is trying to but they clearly don't understand the situation. You can't get me in trouble. You can't. You can't copy me. Would just come off as a pale imitation being found wanting.

So just go be butthurt and stop messing with your little scripts that mess up my typing, mouse, and other shit. It's mildly annoying at worst.

>>34695257
are you schizophrenic? lol

>>34746006
>positivity

no thanks. i'm on r9k for a reason

Is this going to be some sort of suicide cult?
It's cool if it is I just need to know first.

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>>34746018
it naught postive ,

I agree, I would rather hold off sex in order to get to know m'lady better whilst I serenade her with anime poetry and funny donald trump pepe memes

>>34745822
You embrace shallow love and be degenerate as fuck, jumping from girl to girl, pussy to pussy and enjoying your youth.

>>34745822
Agreed
How can someone ever find love when todays society is all about having as many sexual partners as possible.
Monogamy has become completely diluted and is dying

I abandoned my friend. The look on his face still haunts me.

I dropped my sister's kid when he was a baby and now he's actually retarded.
Don't feel bad at all.

>>34745611
tell us the story matey mate mate

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>not attracted to pale girls with tattoos
Suicide girls are not for faggots like you anon

better to be littered with tattoos instead of littered with track marks

>>34745351
Putting tattoos on an attractive body is like putting a bumper sticker on a BMW.

no
we don't have usernames faggot
as far as I know you're an AI made to post this
>but what about tripcodes
tripfags are cancer

>>34745285
Social media typically relies on static user identification, so with the exception of tripfags, I don't think so. It is an anonymous social network, yes, but not social media.

4chan is a forum retard.

Had a good fap last night

2006. Just chilling out at my cousin's house after school watching cartoons and playing vidiya. That was the last good year ;-;

Bampin
OriginaI

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>>34745182
>He fell for the being a Christcuck gets you laid meme

I dropped all that shit and for a month I didn't do anything but stare at the ceiling.

>>34745201
Better to be a ChristCuck, then a eternally depressed Robot trapped in an online hell of misery, shame, desperation, and regret.

Being a Robot get's worse as you get older!

Save yourself from Hell! anon!

>tfw no physically abusive anything

>tfw no physically/verbally abusive bf

>tfw no one to carve their initials into my back with a knife and brand my ass with a hot iron to establish that I'm their property

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>>34745082
You know what you have to do...

oorriiggiinnaall

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>>34745082
thats a tiny little package. do you mind posting a picture of your penis erect? I am interested.

>>34745082
I can't believe that's an original sentence

>>34745058
>How to achieve asceticism?
Read the Rule of St. Benedict.

>Start fasting. You should never feel full.
>Start only drinking water, occasionally tea, and a bit of wine a day.
>Start meditating/praying each day, for as long as you can manage. This timeframe will rapidly grow.
>Once you can get in a solid few hours of meditation/prayer in one sitting, you can manage to work properly.

Are you religious?

I think the original purpose of asceticism was to shed yourself of worldly things and turn your mind to something higher.
It might be difficult to practice asceticism without a spiritual life. And prayer and meditation help immensely.

I think its all about stepping back and taking an objective view on life and desire.
Analyze how you feel when you crave something you know is killing you, and threatens your asceticism.
Meditate.
That's the only advice I can give.

Just be Diogenes. Live in a barrel, talk shit to Alexander the Great, and jerk off in public.