Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 3576. page

>>37924952
>At what age does it become socially unacceptable to be open with your attraction to teenage girls?
20

>>37924952
When you're no longer a teen

>>37924952
I'll stop being attracted to them once they stop wearing booty shorts and yoga pants.

Until then I'm staring at every teenager's ass that gets in my field of view

>he has an imagination

I've never imagined any of this shit you weirdo

>he imagined the girls he really wanted to fuck getting kidnapped and tied up by some bad guys who raided the school
>he imagines taking out the bad guys with the hidden guns he took to school and other weapons and kung-fu
>he shot with perfect accuracy and was a master at dodging bullets
>he unties the girl from the closet, who is naked, and she goes "Teehee its okay let me give you blowjob/sex to thank you for saving me"

>>37924848
>faintly smells
>faintly

You're just used to it. It probably smells awful.

File: 1497277490288.gif (1MB, 320x240px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 320x240px

>>37924848
>pizza
Just be glad you aren't lactose intolerant

>be me
>wake up
>depending on how i'm doing with motivation it's either 6:30am and kitty is meowing, 10 and alarm is going off, or 12 and i've been hitting snooze
>if 6:30, get a drink of water and go back to sleep because whenever i sleep i'm basically always hynagogic except during the morning when i'm hydrated
>if 10, wake up, get coffee out of fridge and sit on floor
>dismiss all phone notifications
>try not to guilt myself about not getting chore shit done
>swipe through tinder even though i know nothing will come of it
>get annoyed when i get matches
>shower, dress, and go to work
>ride the subway
>feel strange associations about the number of people in the car, the type of people, where i stand, how i stand, dismiss everything
>walk to work
>try to make small talk with coworkers
>make same small talk most days
>hope coworker leaves quickly instead of hanging around
>sit and read random things on internet when its dead
>pull shots and steam milk otherwise
>try not to worry too much about saying the same 3 or so things to every customer since it's not like they hear what I say to other customers unless they get their drink to stay oh fuck
>try to start cleaning up early
>fail
>take an hour to close
>wander home
>drink
>do a few web development freelance projects i've somehow lucked into
>or just be depressed and do nothing
>talk on irc with a few friends i've hung onto somehow over the years
>pretend i'm going to fall asleep before 3am
>fail

>>37924823
yea I spent so much time being sad and doing nothing instead of watching tv and playing games. i wish it didn't bother me so much

>>37924823
Depression can actually rot you brain.

yep most def. I cannot even do basic math properly.

Castrate yourself

Not original kek

>>37924694
Milk your prostate on a regular basis so semen doesn't build up.

>>37924708

Besides this. I would like to keep my penis, all I want is to not cuck myself anymore.

>>37924679
Hi, how did you get presecribed that? I unironically have been hearing voices recently and having hallucinations of my mother. The worst are the night time hallucinations (no, not dreams, they're different) that wake me up from my sleep.

Saber is cute.
I love her too.
>have been muted for 32 sec

File: 14987656543.png (153KB, 518x291px) Image search: [Google]

153KB, 518x291px

>>37924717
go to a therapist or a psychiatrist. you don't start off by taking the clozapine, you start off by taking a bunch of other shit like Haldol Risperdal Seroquel Zyprexa Cariprazine and some more stuff. Clozapine is the shit you get when nothing else works.

It feels nice most of the time. Some girls suck at it tho. Some are really good at it, as well. When they are it's pretty sexy. On average, it's pretty neutral. It feels better than not kissing but it doesn't feel great and it's mostly a waste of time if it doesn't lead to sex.

File: 7289652980578923654379206543.jpg (25KB, 350x359px)

25KB, 350x359px

>reading Order of the Phoenix when I was younger
>Harry got his first kiss when he was fifteen, so it's not that bad that I'm still kissless at twelve!
>fast-forward to today

I lost my first kiss as a fembot when I was 19, it was ok. I was about to lose my virginity to him as well because I was scared of becoming a christmas cake. But I didn't like him as he was really boring and was sweaty. Basically I had to force myself on him and when our lips met it felt awkward rather than nice and all those cute coupley things people did with so much passion just felt gross with him so I blocked him the next day. I've yet to find my second practise bf since I've been so lazy.

File: 1497151004190.jpg (327KB, 1400x787px) Image search: [Google]

327KB, 1400x787px

Thanks for image
Also i know this feel. You feel like youre losing time. You wont get to repeat things in life. Thats why i decided to go on a train trip next month.

Protip: you are not missing much. They end up having to save a lot of money sometimes starting a year prior just to afford their one week to recharge from slaving away for Shecklestein. Once they get back, they are secretly just as miserable as everyone else.

If you feel the need to get out and do things, get a bike and get in some physical shape. Then outfit the bike for cycle touring and get used to camping. It's cheap and fun. I got a tour planned in October that will take a week.

>>37925973
Aside from the usual whiny nonsense this guy is right. Cycle touring is the bomb.

>>37924562
Do not post pictures of yourself on /r9k/.
All "rate me" and camwhoring threads belong on /soc/.

>>37924593
nigga its my foot are you fucking gay or something jeez man get outta here

File: hashtag-taturday-winning.jpg (32KB, 500x333px) Image search: [Google]

32KB, 500x333px

Only normalfags get meme tattoos.

>we should hang out sometime!!

>>37924458
>tfw girls don't ghost you

>>37924486
It's not very good to lie, my son

File: 1494733944565.jpg (69KB, 1164x595px) Image search: [Google]

69KB, 1164x595px

>Driving while running errands
>Talk to myself as usual, cant control it
>Semi-yelling while at a stoplight, window down
>Notice the Couple in the car next to me watching me, disgusted looks on their face

>Hold my fingers to my ear to make it look like im using a bluetooth headset
>Drive away

>walk out of class
>accidentally go the wrong direction
>stop look at my phone like i'm texting someone
>scoff at my phone then turn around the right direction.

>yodeled the chortel

>>37924424
cause you only become gay/bi after you've given up on girls. just like I did

>>37924424
because we're desperate to be loved, obviously m8oroo
also u r cute

>>37924424
you might not look as hideous as you think you do

most women are looking for ultra-chads anyway so it's to be expected

>>37924417
>Ice hot showers in the winter.

Please don't post aesthetic lil b pictures. It gives me depressing nostalgia

>>37924417
A hot shower in summer.

>>37924358
gtfo my board norman

>police show up later to arrest OP on sexual assault charges because he raped a woman while drunk

>>37924358
>Anyway, we didnt have sex, so am I still allowed here?
No. To be clear, any romantic contact with a female permanently strips you of robot status. Leave this Godforsaken place.

>trying to remove a suction cup by pulling it from the center

wew

>>37924390
>b3 m3
>b3 P3t3y
ftdy

>>37924329
>sitting on bus in high school
>friend asks me if I want to dip
>say "sure why not?"
>put it in my mouth
>bus hits bump
>swallow it
>spit it out of window
>flies back and hits my other friend behind me in the face