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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 4199. page

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im making a poo right now
hng
2 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Easily one of the highest quality threads I've seen on /r9k/ in the last 3 months.

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SPEED SPEED LOVER
GAMES NOT OVER
3 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>37580596
Dank rebbit meme culture you got there, kiddo.
>>
I FOUND MY LOVE IN NEW YORK CITY
BIG TOWN THAT NEVER SLEEPS

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I made a post about how much I like earthworms about a week ago, and I think I just had the worst morning of my life.

>wake up around 7:15
>have to use bathroom
>hear mother doing stuff with the pool
>just opened it, so probably filling it up with water
>head back to bed to just lay for a few more minutes
>fall back asleep at some point
>mother went to work at around 7:45
>wake up at 9:00
>hear what sounds like running water
>jump out of bed
>look out back door
>one of the tubes fell off and water is gushing out of the pool
>must have been going like that for at least half an hour
>entire area around the motor and filter is flooded under a few inches of water
>motor running with no water going through
>turn off motor
>plug the water
>look at the dirt
>worms
>dozens of earthworms submerged
4 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Cont.

>most squirming around, some not moving
>begin to look more around the pool, dozens turns to over a hundred
>start plucking the worms out of the water
>they are all white as ghosts
>wanted to start crying
>didn't have time to cry
>needed to save as many worms as I could
>collect handfuls and transfer them to our garden and surrounding dirt
>do this about ten times
>the worms are barely clinging to life
>slowly start seeing color return to their bodies
>slightly relieved
>hear something
>robins
>there's robins circling my house
>fuck no
>this is basically a feast for them
>fend off as many as I can while saving more worms
>finally clear out all the worms I could find
>legs tired as shit
>go inside to use bathroom
>head back out
>look at the clusters of worms
>almost no movement
>robins are picking worms out from the grass
>shoo them away
>stay out for ten more minutes protecting my worms
>numerous other worms were on the surface around the pool but not submerged

I just checked the worms again and most look brown again and more are moving. I hope life returns to most of them, they didn't deserve this. At least if they do pass on, they won't die suffocating underwater. Called my mother and she said all the tubes were on tightly and nothing seemed wrong. Why did this have happen.
>>
My stomach feels weird
>>
>>37580588
Nature is cruel isn't it. We take being at the top of the food chain for granted I think.

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Remember to breathe, rob9.
1 posts and 1 images submitted.
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I just found a job for when I'm not at the army and officially became a /doublewagecuck/ for both my state and a greedy boss
1 posts and 1 images submitted.
No replies in the DB for this post!

>am socially awkward
>girl hits on me
>7/10
>think is prank
>ignore
>girl gets upset because serious
>now wont talk to becuase thinks I hate her

How do I stop thinking people are pranking me?
4 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>37580422
I know that feel
Was hanging out with chad friend and his girlfriend at wendys eating food chads gf friends come meet us the 3 girls are all dying laughing and looking over at me after chad gf friends leave she says to me they both like you and im like no fuck off do she calls her one friend back . I sucked some titties and got head
>>
>>37580422
>implying you're not falling for an elaborate prank right now
>>
>>37580690
Girls used to do this to me at school. Just laughing and laughing. What's so fucking funny? One of them wrote "I <3 anon" on the board in one of our classes and apparently that was also hilarious

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>Be me last night, 10:30
>My apartment area is divided from the other section to the right of it by a patch of grass
>Waiting for roommate to park his car, just standing there like a fucking idiot with grocery bags in my hands (He came back from the store, wanted me to wait for him because he didn't want to get jumped, I'm 6'4, he's a manlet)
>9/10 starts walking across patch of grass, and walks past me and slightly smiles
>My autism kicks in, make a slight "oops" sound and move out of her way
>She goes into the apartment behind me, which is next to mine
>Roommate finally gets over to me, we take the groceries in the house
>Look in mirror
>Look like a fucking wild man
>Fight off urge to kill myself by playing with my dog
Why must I suffer?
5 posts and 3 images submitted.
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Hang in there niqqa
Mad respekts
>>
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>My autism kicks in, make a slight "oops" sound and move out of her way
literally every fucking time a girl walks near me
>>
Op here, got an update:
>Be me after typing original post
>Go to take dog for a walk
>9/10 from last night and her 8/10 friend are walking to apartment complex pool, bikinis on
>9/10 says "aww, cute dog!"
>Autism kicks into Super Saiyan
>"U-uh t-thanks..!"
>By that time they're walking away
>8/10 heard it, looks back, says something to her friend, they both chuckle
>Dog licking my face, take her for a walk
>Get back
>Type this

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How do gays even feel pleasure from anal sex?

I've tried to masturbate through my asshole multiple times with lube and prostate massager but it feels awful. It hurts as hell and it feels like I'm literally pumping out shit from my insides the more times I thrust something inside and out, it just feels wrong.
5 posts and 1 images submitted.
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It's because you aren't a bottom Anon, also you lack a partner and intimacy.
>>
1 use something larger in diameter
2 work your way up with fingers
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>>37580404
They enjoy it mostly because they're degenerate snimals. Once you realise they base their entire identity, personality and existence around cramming things into their shit holes, you suddenly realise how cancerous they are.

You're on the edge here Anon. You can either step back and return to normal masturbation based around the idea of PIV hetero sex. Or you can continue to turn out your asshole until you inevitably try gay sex. Once that happens you're doomed. You can never undo it.

Lanklets Blown the fuck out
4 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>37580302
Trump's more BTFO than Comey.
>>
Ywn have the gravitas that Comey has. Why even live
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>>37580302

>tfw you will never be a 6'8 paragon of american virtue in government

JUST

I really wish I could start a family but I know I am not smart enough to earn the money needed to support one.

It sucks being such a failure.
2 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Feels bad man in an original way also.

Share anons
1 posts and 1 images submitted.
No replies in the DB for this post!

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p-please come back guys, please be my f-friend again
3 posts and 1 images submitted.
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We're in tinychat/robot9001 anon
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>>37580335
jesus fucking christ look at this underage newfaggot fag

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>Already winning the argument
>Pretend to make a typo
>Stupid roach takes the bait
>Laugh at the brainlet for losing the argument and being a redditor
2 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>37580233
nice here take a (you)

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You grew up in the era of stagnation (1980-2020).
That's why it's June 2017 when it feels like it should be 2007. The future is coming anon, whether we like it or not.
1 posts and 1 images submitted.
No replies in the DB for this post!

Some of you guys are alright, don't go to sleep tommorow
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>>37580198

KEK

THIS BOARD NEEDS MORE THREADS LIKE THESE

Trapfags need to BTFO


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