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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 808. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

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I'm your worst nightmare.

I don't look or act like a Chad and I'm a completely average lower middle class millennial.

My girlfriend is incredibly sexy, skinny, and 5 years younger than me.

I fooled around with one of her friends this weekend and she'll never ever find out. Her friend is also incredibly hot.

I'm just an average dude and I'm pulling more pussy than I know what to do with. I'm not in very good shape or tall. My jawline is nothing special.

But unlike you little bitches I'm getting world class pussy and most of you can't even talk to a girl irl.

Heres a hint: it's all your fault. Hot stacys will slut it up with average guys all night long, but you're too socially retarded and misogynistic to get some.

Stop being little boys and maybe women will actually like you. Your lack of success with women is only your fault. Chad has nothing to do with it.

Pic related, she looks like my girlfriend.
47 posts and 7 images submitted.
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Go away "not Chad"!
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>>39357257
I have less than 1k in my bank account and a dad bod, go fuck yourself
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>>39357236
Hilarious, man. Good stuff

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You are minding your own business in a public library, when this guy slaps the HELL out of your ass. What do you do????
55 posts and 21 images submitted.
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>>39357233

Ask for her autograph, I love Aliens!
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>>39357233
inject my semen into his bloodstream
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present my boipucci of course

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Ugly fembots unite
Post stories that would've never happened if you were an average looking Stacy so I can feel better about my shitty genetics

>Have crush on Finnish army boy
>He's hot babyface but still qt af
>I always tutor him almost every other day in hopes he'll eventually start to like me
>Pretty much do his homework for him, spend 3 hrs/week by his side
>One day he meets my 180lbs friend
>Next day she shows me the nudes he sent her

I crie evry tiem
When will society love me
157 posts and 23 images submitted.
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>>39356664
Uggo pls post taytays
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>>39356664
What makes you so ugly?
>>
>ugly girl
>"i wish ugly creeps would stop bothering me, i want a hot 10/10!!!"

>ugly guy
>"i wish someone would acknowledge me as a human being"

kill yourself roastie. you don't belong here

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I captured this fucker in my shop.
Dubbs decides what happens next.
No:
>In pooper
>eat
>in ears eyes, etc
>cant let it out in house, mommy would freak

This subject is nicknamed "BadBoy" due to his several escape attempts. After his most recent attempt he had one of his antennae removed as punishment (right).
43 posts and 9 images submitted.
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>>39356591
Its a roach, if you cant tell
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Don't take your autistic rage out on this innocent bug... just set him free.
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>>39356601
No dubs; no can do.

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Anyone notice how normies typically are just really boring individuals?

They talk about all their interests and the things that make them unique all the time but they're never unique, they just brag about stuff everyone likes

>Need my morning coffee!
>I love cats! Cats are secretly evil!
>I love dogs! I'm a dog person and you better be one too!
>Don't bother me in the morning or I'll bite your head off!
>I looooove Star Wars!!!

These are cultural soundbites they repeat often. Useless drivel that describes nothing about them but it's all they have to talk about

Why are they so boring
65 posts and 11 images submitted.
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People like to fit in. They pretend to be retarded to fit in. They're not actually retarded, in fact they're very smart and follow the protocols needed to blend in and make friends and connections, which basically is pretending you're stupid as fuck.
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>>39356426
ive been saying this for so long but nobody gets me dude
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>>39356426
Lucky you, the normies that I "know" just gossip about other people and the very shallow experience they had. (Also they loooove to be the center of attention)

Hey fellow robots. It's Nevi, The old tarot girl. Some might remember me. I'm not here to do the free weekly tarots like I used to do however.

Tonight I'm here just to vent. Share my story. I need to tell it somewhere. Figured this worked.

2 years ago I joined the navy. I was going to go submarines. Have a great time doing crazy shit overseas.

I went to bootcamp battling feelings I didn't understand. Anger at people making rude comments about transgenders. Always thought I was a supporter you know?

Well Then I started living alone on the naval submarine base. Exploring my feelings and lurking a lot moar. Well in my lurking I discovered how to become a trap. I didn't think twice, I didn't understand what I was doing or why when I suddenly ordered the herbal bullshit and started on them. it wasn't until a close friend told me "You can say what you like, but no matter how you look at this you are transitioning to female."

That was the point I realized. Pretty obvious in the face. After that I started trying to go through official channels to get my shit straightened out. Get real treatment while being sponsored in the navy.

After this I was put on security hold for a long time before I got rerated to a cook and sent out to a ship.

It's been a year and a half since I first started all of this. I've made great strides but still have not started real hormones.

Now I'm getting separated despite all my efforts and great records of seamanship. I've become obsolete and unneeded according to the military. I have no control over my life anymore, because of this accursed disease.

My life has been ruined and I don't know what to do.
46 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>39356196
Life sucks for trans people senpai it's unfortunate. You can always order the mones and take them without telling doctors and still be in the Navy. I don't know how to help you anon I'm sorry.
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Don't take hormones, unless you want to get even more depressed and fuck up your body.
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>>39356239
No see that's no longer a choice. I have it in my medical record. My chain of command all know about me. There is no going back. I will be separated.

>>39356256
I've been on hormones for over a year and a half. Trust me when I say my body is more than fine. Besides the fucked up back I got when I was on deployment. but that was navys fault. Due to negligence of the EM division.

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So is it true this board has a bunch of sissy men who like minorities guys? Asking for a friend.
33 posts and 3 images submitted.
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yes

but call us sissy boys
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>>39356141
I have a vagina fetish, still
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actually the other way around
common misconception

I just grabed my dog by the neck and threw it across the room because I was angry it wasn't listening. It landed on its side and yelped then started twitching. I yelled at it to go sit down and it did. My question is, am I a bad person? I want to enter a relationship some day and this worries me.
149 posts and 12 images submitted.
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>>39356128
Maybe you should learn to have some self restraint and fix your problems or move away from everything so you can't fuck up anything ever again. I'd hate to see how you'd fare in a customer service job.
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>>39356128
you just have sperg rage from a bad childhood, once that dog is gone you will miss it, take measures to fix yourself before it is too late.
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>>39356150
I enjoy beating them though. Why does this happen? It's always been fun for me.
>>39356161
How do I fix this? I'm a lonely person. My dogs hate me. I'm worried I'll make a future lover hate me too if I beat them too. I just get so stressed out on life ans take it out on them.

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I'm a skinny white guy and since I have no social life I've never actually drank alcohol. I want to know how much I need to take to get me drunk or at least a pretty good buzz. I have some fireball and vodka.
53 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>39355910
probably 2 beers will give you a buzz
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>>39355910
terrible dranks, but you can still get a buzz off of them. first post has it right, pour two glasses (not shots, regular glasses) of vodka if it's the cheap kind and you might feel a buzz
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Depends. I know some skinny little guys with huge tolerance, and I'm an average guy who gets completely shitfaced with little. Half a bottle of vodka will probably get you ranging from feeling pretty funky to absolutely fucked up depending on your tolerance, so I'd go with that. Being absolutely fucked up is pretty cool by the way, don't be scared to try it.

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Japanese girls are the worst whores

its no wonder why herbivore men exist
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>getting fucked by a dog
>not fucking dogs instead
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>>39355848
i think im done with 4chan now, it cant get any worse than this

mods, please delet this
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Are there any dogs with big dicks? I'm just curious.

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You ever slept in the same bed with a girl?
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>>39355764
>You ever slept in the same bed with a girl?
my mom when I was younger

other than that no
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Me and my ex girlfriend slept together.

It was weird, I was a 23 year old manchild and she was a 22 year old womanchild.

Cuddling was out of the question because I can't sleep with someone so close to me.

I don't know how to sleep in the same bed with women, I need my space.
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Yeah once, it was comfy.

We didnt fuck though so I was sexually frustrated the morning after.

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>daughter asks me if she's hot
>get confused n nervous and say no
>daughter gets mad and throws a fit
>say okay fine You're hot
>daughter calls me a pedophile

How do I stop this shit? Did I just raise a troll? I'm 32 and she's 16.
33 posts and 5 images submitted.
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You habe to put it inside her.
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>>39355194
Tell her to stop acting retarded.
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>>39355194

Tell her she's "pretty" or "beautiful" then, in a dad kinda way

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dubs have to uninstall steam and every other vidya on his pc
38 posts and 4 images submitted.
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i never get dubs anyway


so im safe
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Jokes on you I already uninstalled steam
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Fuck it they're all boring anyway
Roll

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i hate that "cultural appropriation" is a thing and how niggers and other subhumans are free of it they "can't" do it they can also never be racist because you need to hold power to be racist.

well, let me, a white man say this to all niggers out there. fuck off back to africa you goddamn monkeys. i hold no power so this isn't racist if you apply your logic.

also it must be nice to free yourself of any wrong doing despite doing it the most.
42 posts and 8 images submitted.
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>>39354840
if a black man is wearing anything other than a loincloth and a spear he is appropriating white culture
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As far as I can tell, the term cultural appropriation = using important elements from a culture you don't belong to in a disrespectful way. It's tough to find actual examples of it, which is why people argue about it so much. It's just another thing for underemployed losers to try to get outraged about.
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>>39354840
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tMsQsAvHpqU&t=174s
I know the feel its okay when they do it apparently

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How would you robots handle this situation?
57 posts and 9 images submitted.
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>>39354641
I'd probably invite her back to my place

She would leave
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I wouldn't have touched him without his consent.
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She is so fucking gross. Idk how he can sit by her is just fucking get up and leave


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