>Accidently shit myself in a lecture
>Joke to the girl next to me that I ate some wacko tacos
>She moves away from me
>Everyone notices
>tfw
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>>35219018
wacko tacos
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She was cute??
linguini
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The only time I ever shat my pants was when I had been drinking for a month 24/7 and had really bad diarreah.
Don't go to class if you have diarreah.
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>tfw no girlfriend to make you her slave
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Tfw gf that makes me her slave
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>>35218915
>Tfw gf that makes me her slave
can you make her kill you too? thanks
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>>35218915
Cool. What does she make you do?
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Any other fat fucks here trying to diet? How are you doing?
I'm a fat bastard.
Seriously, I'm fucking huge.
Want to go to the cinema or coffee or do something like a normal person? Can't, I don't fucking fit.
But I'm so fucking tired of this shit, it's time to stop slowly killing myself with junk and actually diet. So I started a reasonable diet.
You know what I miss the most? Buying clothes like a normal fucking person instead of DESIGNATED FATFUCK STORES like I'm some kind of subhuman.
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>>35218839
Step 1 - No more sodas. Water or seltzer.
Step 2 - real foods only, cut way back on simple carbs. No more junk food, nor more "energy only" food. Veggies and leans meats should make up the majority of your intake.
The pounds will come off even without working out from this.
Step 3 - as it becomes easier to move, now start conditioning yourself for working out. Stretch, be more active and try to exert yourself with simple exercises.
Step 4 - after about a month of this, it's time for real workouts. Running, biking and lifting every single day. Not heavy lifting, mind you.
This is now your life until you hit your target weight.
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>>35218839
How much do you weigh? I weigh 190-200lbs at any given time. I noticed my jeans started pinching me lately. It may be time to go on a diet.
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>>35218928
That's fucking nothing.
I'm obese class 3.
I need to lose 100kg/220lbs to be normal.
I started a 1500 calories a day diet so hopefully I will lose the first 10-20kg fast so I can start exercising. Right now, I can't even do that because of fear of fucking up my legs.
Anonymous
Do you believe in an afterlife? 2017-03-01 07:13:31 Post No.35218821
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Do you believe in an afterlife? 2017-03-01 07:13:31 Post No.35218821
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Do you believe in an afterlife?
Anonymous
2017-03-01 07:13:31
Post No. 35218821
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Just kidding. But seriously. What do you guys believe?
Personally, I would like to live many lives. I am so confident in myself that I'm an atheist but believe in afterlife. Valhalla would be my choice. Multiple afterlives. Different lives. A medieval summer evening festival takes place in the countryside and there's a small cobblestone wall, three feet tall, a mile from the festival grounds. My girl and I lean against the wall in the meadow.
That's my idea of paradise man. There could be tragedies too, but there's gonna be paradise.
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>>35218821
According to science our consciousness transfers to another body when we die, seems pretty cool I guess
Getting to live another life every time yours ends
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>>35218846
>According to science our consciousness transfers to another body when we die, seems pretty cool I guess
Fucking kek, what science? No one knows what happens. Not even top-scientists.
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>>35218890
>I've never heard of theories!
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>mom wants to be my practice gf
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>>35218791
Fuck ur mom tbqh
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>>35218797
D-dame desu! With my mom? No way!
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>your mom wants to be my practise gf
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BRUH SPOT ME I GOT 4 REPS OF 150 I NEED THIS SPOT CMON BRAH IM GUNNA LOSE IT I BET YOU DONT EVEN BENCH 145 I BET YOU DONT EVEN SQUAT.... WHAT U SQUAT
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>>35218787
tfw i bench almost 300lbs
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>tfw going to a planet fitness
>even the chaddiest guys there with sexy gfs are still weaker than I am
Smug pepe
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>>35218787
>weight 136 lbs
>5'6.5"
>18
I feel like shit when I go into the gym. Most people are older than me and far more /fit/ than me.
Makes me want to fucking give up.
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>tfw you have ugly dirty looking penis
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Solution: Wash it.
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>>35218755
Solution: suck my asshole.
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>>35218755
it doesn't work
how do i bleach it
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>so conditioned to the pain that I can't even cry anymore
how do you escape
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do shitloads of heroin then quit cold turkey. the wds will make you cry.
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>>35218729
I started using heroin for the lullz and quit when i felt like it. It wasn't that bad
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>>35218749
how long did you use for? pretty impressive. i get suicidal depression and hurt physically bad if i stop
Anonymous
Oyasumi Pun Pun Fembot.. 2017-03-01 06:58:52 Post No.35218610
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Oyasumi Pun Pun Fembot.. 2017-03-01 06:58:52 Post No.35218610
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If you are reading this now please just let me know...
Why you just deleted your contact? Just..Why?
I know you have some problems but I told you to do not worry with me, that I was different.. I was very interested on you since we both have a bunch of stuff in common and I was very happy to talk to you because I finally had found someone just like me and I'm not going to lie, that "I wish you the best" hit me hard after you deleted your only contact...
And if you're wondering who am I, I am the robot from yesterday, remember? The one who said "my voice is shitty to sing"...the one who said "I cried with radiohead songs"
I don't want you to be afraid of me, but you know, it hurts..All I need to talk to you again..
t. Tigre
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Must be very important to you senpai.
Pls fembot contact her origami
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VH_ALFxuBZE
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Bumperino
anyone??You have been muted for 2 seconds, because your comment was not original.
>he supports the death penalty but doesnt support abortion
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what is an unborn fetus guilty of?
The best way to deter crime is make criminals not want to do it.
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Conservatives are retards this isn't new
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>>35218572
I'm not against either. But I don't support them actively. In an ideal world neither would be necessary.
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Tfw last year I tried killing myself two times.
Tfw last year I thought I was ugly as fuck and had extremely low confidence
Now I think I'm a 7/10 and enjoy my life
It actually gets better robots. Hang in there!
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>>35218565
what changed?
original
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>>35218565
>attention whored myself two times
ftfy, gtfo, saged
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Yeah, what changed, Anon? And do you ever worry about the risk of a relapse?
Anonymous
Christians you have the wronger religion 2017-03-01 06:53:03 Post No.35218531
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Christians you have the wronger religion 2017-03-01 06:53:03 Post No.35218531
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Christians you have the wronger religion
Anonymous
2017-03-01 06:53:03
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Bhudda didn't believe Jew you fucking pieces of secret servvice shit that know nothing about the true religion. You frogs, you religioten you
I hope one of you gets fired. Even my mother. .
Cut someone's money, the nuked Orwell's world loves you, fanatics.
Secret Services must prove if they can big rip the nuked world.
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Guys... I think its trying to communicate.
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Schizophrenia is a hell of a drug, is it not?
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>>35218531
this isn't your regular, everyday autism
This is A D V A N C E D A U T I S M
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Did your mom ever find your piss jug? What was her reaction? Will post a depressing greentext if I see some decent reactions here
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>>35218490
her reaction was
haHAA
PogChamp
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>>35218490
she found my enema once when tidying my bedroom, only know cos she left it on my fucking bookshelf in plain site but never said anything
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I had a VERY close call last Tuesday. My father wanted to clear the shurreby in the back lawn because its crushing or fence or something. After going in hard about helping him I was able to make him stop his plans by disposing the two bottles of bar oil we had for the chainsaw.
thus I was able to dispose of the three piss jugs i threw there during the winter by sneaking out at night
Anonymous
How to get qt Ugandan woman? 2017-03-01 06:46:08 Post No.35218410
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How to get qt Ugandan woman? 2017-03-01 06:46:08 Post No.35218410
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How to get qt Ugandan woman?
Anonymous
2017-03-01 06:46:08
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I just watched the movie Queen of Katwe and I fell in love with the movie.
How high are the chances that I can find a qt african wife like Lupita Nyong'o in Uganda?
How do I get a daughter as sweet and polite as Madina Nalwanga? I want her to have the same accent and I want to live with them in Uganda and live a happy life outside of the slums where I work with ghetto kids and come home to a loving wife?
Like if I would go with 3300 american dollars would I be able to buy a house? How high are the chances that I get killed for being white or being with an african woman?
Do ugandan women even like white men? Could they start loving me if I would get them out of the slum into the city?
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>the girl on the right will never hold my head like that and spit in my mouth
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just import them?
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>>35218410
Try Uganda
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What did /r9k/ used to look like and what do you look like now?
Here's me
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And here is me now
Originally xidndj
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>>35218388
ya ugly little wankah
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>>35218388
>>35218422
you again
you look like a normie
get out you cuck