Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 304. page

This sort of happened to me except I'm an ugly son of a bitch which god decided to play a joke on by giving him a huge trouser python. After she wanted to see my dick for some insane reason things got really strange. She had sex a few times but I cut contact because it was obvious I disgusted her.

>>39506086
Jokes on you. Sex isn't nearly as good as a girl making you wear her panties and making fun of your penis.

>>39506086
Can I be one of your small dick boys

Because I'm not a faggot I put my dick in vaginas like god intended.

because there aren't any near me

>>39506043
because (sadly) i'm not gay.

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Also I've only got 2 more days to recover from strep and it's gonna be another late night so feel free to come bullshit

Hope you have a slow death you fucking piece of shit
xoxo

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>>39506791
Fuck let's hope so. It would be scary to just suddenly stop existing. Or to immediately appear in the after life without being able to form closure in your final moments

>>39506013
Show her what a penis looks like if it isn't circumcised.

Add a male to the equation and they'll kiss you for the male attention. Works every time

>>39506013
Turbodyke, leave Smol alone

>>39506024
Ew

and what does she mean by a still looking type response

>>39505994
>not getting off on making others feel pleasure

I enjoy giving blowjobs much more than I enjoy being stimulated.
1. The focus is on someone else
2. The satisfaction of knowing you're singlehandedly responsible for their pleasure
3. Kind of feels good in my mouth
4. Dick fascination
5. It's just really fucking hot.

>>39505981
Did you give yourself an enema first?

my life has never had a meaning what should i do

How big was her orig penis

>>39505904
>They're not gonna get pregnant that way
Excuse me? It's 2017. It's possible.

Tribbing is possibly one of the few things I live for

I've heard tell IRL dykes don't do it, it's clumsier, more difficult, and less rewarding than just 69ing, fingerblasting each other, pegging, etc.
A pretty sight though.

>>39505898
i swore in my heart that i would never love, and due to that my heart has not been broken.
it's not like i would be loved ever anyway

Im currently trying to get my crush to be my gf if that counts, its the fucking hardest thing i have ever had to do, no idea how chads do it.

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Never tried because rejection would already hurt my fragile ego.

girls dont care if your voice is high.

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> I've tried estrogen pills

Correct me if I'm wrong, but wouldn't that make your voice even higher pitched?

>>39505894
If you start taking them after you've gone through puberty then it has no effect. Trannies that transition before or during puberty can prevent their voice from dropping like it would normally. After that if they want to get a high pitched voice they can have surgery, and/or do vocal training.

If you're a dude with a high pitched voice then taking estrogen seems pointless, unless you were trying to transition. Why not try vocal training to have a deeper sounding voice?

hello pls don't cap me

no way im letting any of you fuckers see my face

bump lemme see my robros

>>39505761
that sounds fucked up, OP. what's the topic?

>>39505761
Get crackin' classlave

>>39505761
I'll do it for you for $5 on PayPal. I'm a fantastic writer and scored a 790 on the English SAT.

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>>39505651
lol wtf

do you consider yourself a peasant?

I want someone who self-identifies as a peasant to reply to me.

>>39505695
you can't "self identify" as a socioeconomic class

>>39505709
hi mister peasant

if you had to rate your self esteem on a scale of one to ten what would it be

do you have plans to ever not be a peasant, like perhaps becoming a squire?

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>>39505613
here you go sir. How do you stand while shitting? I squat when I shit sometimes but never stood before.

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I tried to draw with my thinkpad's clit

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He's a cultist I guess? Also I don't know how cloaks work help

No it's just stretching. Some balance stuff.

>>39505607
>Does Yoga even do anything besides stretching?
Yes, you use your muscles to hold certain poses, which is equivalent to very light exercise or calisthenics. If you do it right.

>>39505624
Then how do these girls lose so much weight by doing it?

Is it purely coincidence?

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>>39505584
You get off my board not normalfag.
REEEEEEEEE!

>>39505639
If I was really a normie I wouldn't be paralyzed by the notion of a girl wanting to have sex with me

Go fucking fuck her, dude. If your parents would have a problem with you getting some pussy, then you need to move out.