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just had a surreal experience
>on nightwalk through public trail in the woods
>smoking comfy pipe
>no flashlight because I dont give a fuck
>guy walks out the bushes and nearly gives me a heart attack
>"can I barrow a light"
>holy fuck I recognize this voice. it's my alcoholic great uncle I see once a year
he gave me a beer and we talked some football
go outside and have some drunk fun, robots
the night is a comfy time
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>>38536040
Is this Twin Peaks season 3 episode 8?
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I want Papika to walk out of the bushes during my nightwalk
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I bet you don't have your pants anymore
Dad called me a faggot today
>30 living at home
>work 3 days a week like 24 hours
>it was hot as fuck the last few days heat index like 101
>work 9 hour shifts pumping gas
>complaining before work today
>dad says shut the fuck up and go pump gas faggot
>stormed out
How should I reply tonight when I get home for work? Or should I just let it go?
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tell him his genetic makeup is the reason you're a 30yo failure and he is a worthless human being
thatll get em
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Let it go, he's just tripping
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>>38535973
Prove you aren't a fag by fucking him in the ass
the fucking boredom continues, for fuck sake
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>>38535965
Hang out with a friend.
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>>38536006
i have no friends orinal well
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Why'd you use the same picture, anon? Are you trying to make me associate blonde hair, blue eyed males with boringness? You're never gonna brainwash me faggot
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What's opiate addiction like? Any heroinbots?
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>>38535920
Why are you interested in degenerates? Fuck em.
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>>38535920
I remember when I took hydro a couple times I felt pretty miserable afterwards.
Had the shits pretty bad too. I imagine it's like that x1000
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>>38535920
I like that speech from trainspotting but when tryhard "not like those other girls" cunts try to adopt it as their own anthem it's just pathetic.
Like bitch, you're already in front of the mirror taking your narcissistic portrait. Just take a good long look at yourself and ask if truly comprehend what is being said in that quote.
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You're in your room alone one evening when a dark god appears before you and gives you this offer. You can either:
>become the lover of a female cenobite from Hell(looks like the lady on the far right of this image), and become a cenobite yourself
>become the lover of a sexy ass black woman, she's a thuggstress and looks and acts like nicki minaj
Which do ya choose?
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I'll keep my virginity thank you very much. But if there is no choice, then the black woman
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>>38535917
so when i fuck the cenobite chick do i gain cenobite powers?
what powers do i get from fuckin the black chick? or is it just an average fuck? does she look like nicki minaj cuz thats a big factor?
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>>38535917
Obviously the cenobite. What kind of sick twisted monster would opt for a thuggstress?
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Tell me about the highlight of your day!
>get home from work a few hours ago
>excited to play destiny 2 beta
>play the mission
>load up the strike
>hop in
>one guy is afk and leaves after a few minutes
>player I'm with sucks and keeps dying
>no big deal I can carry
>hear a faint "sorry" after they die on a jump
>it's a girl
>scramble to grab my headset
>respond like a beta "I-it's ok-kay"
>don't say anything else
>she starts trying to make conversation
>find out she hasn't played destiny before
>giving it a shot
>liking it
>we start actually talking
>I'm still a sperg but it's going okay
>some guy joins in just before the boss
>releases we're talking and joins in
>total chad
>chatting her up
>telling jokes
>spoke over me a lot
>finish the strike carrying them
>you're forced to leave the fireteam in the beta
>a couple minutes later I get a friend request from the girl
>add her and she invites me into a party
>just me and her
>she wants to do some PvP
>play a few matches and she says she needs to go to bed
>leaves me with "We'll play some more tomorrow, mmkay?"
:)
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Boss pulled me in his office started screaming at me about how I was a liar for calling in one day cause of my illness. Finally just snapped, stood up and told him he's a pathetic failure of a man, to yell at people. He got so toasty I peeled off my uniform and threw it in the trash and walked out. 6 missed calls and 2 texts from my co worker asking me to come back. I finally stood up for myself had it felt great.
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>>38535882
>wake up late from playing some idle game
>play that idle game some more
>clean my room
>play with my ab wheel
it's fun because it's like the opposite of thinking
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I dont get it I just dont.... How can you like girls? Not only that but how can you like destiny? DESTINY the fucking mmo borderlands rip off game with terrible atmosphere, story, and gameplay? Are you mentally fucked? How can you even play online games? I can barely touch them (mainly because my social anxiety causes me to stay quiet and nearly faint when.being spoken to).but fuck me destiny is a terrible online game anyway at least play something with depth I bet you're a fucking nigger too
Anonymous
Doggystyle is overrated? 2017-07-22 04:10:26 Post No.38535840
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Doggystyle is overrated? 2017-07-22 04:10:26 Post No.38535840
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So i've only actually done it "doggy style" a few times? Most every time the girl is lazy or i'm not tall enough so it ends up just being like this. Should I try on a different piece of furniture or standing up or something?
Is that the reason I don't like it? I'm more of a missionary man it seems. Easier to choke the bitch and hold her wrists down/bite her. Also I don't really like spanking or grabbing ass, it seems kinda dumb
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>>38535840
why the fuck are you coming to /r9k/ for sex advice?
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>>38535840
I'm have nothing to say BEACAUSE I AM A KISSLESS VIRGIN.
GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU NORMALFAG!
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>>38535840
>tfw 29 and never had sex
sigh.
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Brobots, I am genuinely curious - what is the science behind this apparatus? Specifically:
>What is actually taking place to make a gel-like substance from cornstarch and water
>What exact proportions of water/cornstarch/microwave would one need to make the best homemade """fleshlight""" based on chemistry
>Could one use different ingredients and reactions to achieve the same result as pic related, or add others to improve it
Any and all replies are appreciated.
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>>38535775
Don't follow that picture. It creates mustard gas.
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Wow this sent me to the hospital fuck you OP
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>>38535775
It smells weird and it leaves a gross residue on your dick.
Just use the sponge and rubber glove method.
do girls sometimes wear a skirt to the store with no panties on?
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>>38535766
>pannties
cringed
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>>38535766
Heh take it from me, buddy.. Yes. Heh
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>>38535766
all the time anon, it gives us a thrill, esp when we bend over to get something on the bottom aisle ;)
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So I started working at the McDonalds that my friend works at bc he suggested I do so, and there's this short Asian girl that i think is really cute. I wanna talk to her so bad. How should I approach her in a work environment? Should I try to initiate friendship with her through my friend that's been working there longer than me? He's only been working there a week longer than I have so he probably doesn't know her that well either.
I'd love whatever advice you could give me buckos.
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My honest advice is to never shit where you eat
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>>38535789
This OP. It will suck working there if theres baggage
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>>38535789
IT's MAcdonalds bro.
OPs boss could hire some nigger next week that might makes OPs life a living hell and he'd have to quit anyway. He might as well go for it.
Anyone ever been stalked by a chick?
Would you want to be stalked by a really ugly chick who was obsessed over you?
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Don't get me started on this senpai
First she'll ask her group of friends about you, then it spreads to other people.
Eventually you'll suddenly find weird stares at you left and right.
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>>38535717
no it is always very uncomfortable for me when i know an uggo chick is into me. not the same nervously hopeful uncomfortable like when an attractive girl is into me. one that makes me just want to avoid avoid avoid
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Chad has a pretty eye color. THat is one ugly bitch.
How do you cook a burger on the stove in a frying pan? Help I'm hunger.
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>eat it raw
>drink oil
>let the stomach acid warm it up
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turn on the stove to whatever heat you want, put the patty on and cook for the desired time.
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>>38535702
>>38535713
Do I have to use oil? Can I get sick if I cook it wrong?
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I'm tired of my life right now and I'm strongly considering just leaving and hitchhiking across the country until I find somewhere I actually feel at home
is this a good or bad idea?
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this image was me, then i quit gaming. im still a neet but at least i wake up at 10am now.
hitch hiking is a bad idea
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Try getting a job or some hobbies.
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It's a pretty shit idea and you'll end up homeless or sucking dick for money.
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>working in an office
>Company brings in 2 temp workers
>Kiwi chad and French qt
>French qt is as close to the woman of my dreams as possible
>Not only is she beautiful but she also has compassion, happiness, and a great sense of humor.
>Always talks to me and sincerely engages me.
>I develop a crush on her
>She's based as fuck
>We share the same love of EDM and Italian neorealist cinema. We both hate Marvel capeshit
>She is so easy going and has high level bantz with the rest of us guys
>God she is so perfect
>She takes a business trip and we invited kiwi chad for drinks
>My boss accidentally reveals that I like French qt in front of kiwi chad
>I freak out and beg kiwi chad not to tell her.
>Kiwi chad promises and reassures me that I'll be ok. Because she's been dating the same guy for 8 years.....
>Oh
>Oh ok.
I left the bar early. I'm home now hiding under my blankets. I feel nothing but sadness and shame. Shame for even thinking about loving and caring for a girl who is in love with someone else. I feel shame and wish I could just disappear and never worry about work again....
Anyone else know this feel?
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>>38535636
Thats the shit part about meeing great women. Theyre almost always in serious long term relationships ... yknow cause they arent batshit insane throwing hissy fits every few days and are willing to work through problems ...
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>>38535636
Sorry there pal.
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all too well anon, but she's happy if you can take anything from that, sorry.
Anonymous
Universities of /r9k/ 2017-07-22 03:57:40 Post No.38535584
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Universities of /r9k/ 2017-07-22 03:57:40 Post No.38535584
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What universities do my fellow bots attend?
U of R here. Pretty decent school, I know lots of kids who post on 4chan here.
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wow u of r thats a good scool
i would go there
but i already go to... U of R: mom XD
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I was going to go to college, but I never learned to drive. Also I refuse to stay in a dorm with others.
t. budding hikki-NEET
maybe Misaki will recruit me for her project
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>>38535584
WHO'S ASKING
WHY DO YOU WANT TO KNOW