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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1129. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

File: lipsmack, sigh.jpg (42KB, 960x686px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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i'll start
>be me
>be 3 years old
>shopping with mom at walmart
>see a blender
>tell her i want it
>she says no
>i start screeching as i pull down my pants and thomas the tank engine underwear
>i put my hand underneath my asshole and proceed to take a giant shit in it
>throw it at mom like a fucking chimpanzee
>mom takes me home
>mfw we have that exact same blender already
>mfw placed in special ed classes with tards
10 posts and 3 images submitted.
it's like you were destined to be on this board from the very beginning. the kind of person nothing can fix.
i hope your mom beat the dogshit out of you
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>used to enjoy papercrafts and paper mache when i was 10
>used to make my own
>would make toilet paper men out of toilet water and toilet paper
>used to hide them behind the toilet pipes
>when one went mouldy id flush it away and hold a funeral for it with the other paper mache men around the bowl

Are there any robots involved in cryptos? I'm a newfag in this thing and wanna ask what's the best place to buy and sell them. Also, which is better--Bitcoin or ethereum?
Not asking this on /biz/ because they're too hard on newfags.
8 posts and 3 images submitted.
I bought some ethereum some months ago and trippled what I put in. I used Coinbase, but I wouldn't suggest buying now. It's higher than it's been the whole summer.
Try ETH, watch the markets and the news, once you get a good understanding of it, go on /biz/ but don't fall for pump n dumps
Is it difficult to convert them back into 'real' currency? Do you need to pay any additional fees/taxes?

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>has 9/10
>no has gf
13 posts and 2 images submitted.
Stanley fuck off you're a 7 at best. Also read the new rule, no pics of yourself on r9k
this guy is the next elliot. i can see in his eyes
Stanley girl version from faceapp was a 9/10 Stacy.
The kind that made fun of you in school and cucked you with Tyrone and Chad during your prom.

That thread game me some hearty keks, good times.

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i am literally crying as i masturbate
i'm so addicted to porn i can't even last five hours without fapping, i just wanna stop
i masturbate like 40 times a week, i don't ever do anything productive, all i care about is porn
it hurts i can't stop i love it so much
18 posts and 2 images submitted.
how long has this Ben happening?
just stop jerking your dick lmao how hard can that be just don't take your pants off
longer than id like to admit
thanks tyler

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Can you guys tell me your saddest stories? I want to end my life and I want to see if it's justified.
8 posts and 1 images submitted.
>be me
>orbits oneitis for more than 9 years
>asks her to be my gf
>she says no

wasted almost a decade of my life for nothing
>pathological liar
>cant stop lying
>lie so much ..whatever
Lel same.
>Get orbited by oneitis
>too beta to do anything
>she moves on
>orbit her
>she says no
My man, it feels 10x worse knowing that what could have been, knowing it was so simple, knowing that it was my fault. At least for the other anons it's out of their hands. Not with me, I should've succeeded, become a good normie. But then, I wouldn't be here if I did.
When you reach the other side, please please please, look out for us.

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>exposes the shittiness of life
>gets told to kill himself by normies

Truly the modern Jesus
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
What the fuck happened to boogie? Did the surgery go wrong?

Too bad he stuck the fucking mic down the toilet or something before starting the camera.
literally a slightly fatter and worse bearded version of me

Ever been forced to kiss a guys foot by a bully ?
10 posts and 1 images submitted.
i wish a bully forced me to sniff his stinky feet
...did that happen to you OP?
anyway no but i did know a girl who got forced to eat worms by bullies
Nope. Thankfully people didn't bully me physically because they saw me as the autistic kid who could snap at any time.

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Looks like NEETdom is about to come to an end for me, boys. I live in the United States and have taken community college classes off and on since graduating high school, but I have been fully NEET for the past couple years (25 now) living with my divorced mom. I have zero work experience and zero references but have never been on welfare or diagnosed with anything to qualify for SSI. My dad, who I see every couple months, is moving to another state and gave me his car because he bought a new one. Now that I have a car, I quit video games and want to start working. I am assuming that no one will hire me normally because I have nothing to put on a resume.
Does anyone here have experience using Job/Temp agencies that will set you up with a job? I really just want to avoid fast food/cash register work and like the sound of Data Entry, Warehouse or Security guard positions. Is it possible to obtain a job like this through an agency? I can type at 100 WPM and am in decent physical shape (not obese or skelly and I'm tall) but I have typical robot tendencies when it comes to social skills
Thanks in advance
28 posts and 2 images submitted.
Yeah just write up a resume that briefly details your skills and qualifications (that is, you can drive, and you can type good wpm, and don't have too much difficulty lifting 50lbs (the max they can legally force you to do alone, depending on where you live) ).

Then go to all the agencies you can and say you'd like to be put into their system.

Chances are they'll initially send you places for one-day assignments until they have a decent handle on whether you're legit or not.

Not really a difficult situation.
Oh and, they'll ask you for your industry preferences, but it doesn't really matter because warehouses / manual labour are always the most in demand.

No one hires a temp store clerk, because they need to do fairly extensive training for someone working a cash register.
Thanks for the fast reply, anon.
If you don't sperg out too bad during the assigned job through the agency is there a decent chance that you will be formally hired?

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i have cuts all over my leg and im suicidal
who here wishes they had an owner
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
Faggots should kill themselves so they can spare everyone else from having to endure their presence
be my qt bf that cuts himself pls
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I know someone you could ask desu. Where do you live?

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>friend told me he'd rather spend time with me than with girls because I understand him more than anyone
Is he implying he has homosexual feelings for me?
16 posts and 2 images submitted.
No just that he realizes male friendship and loyalty is infinitely better than dealing with bitchy roasties
get drunk with him. if he was trying to imply something then he'll reveal it in a drunken state. just make sure you say something that'll get him to
Put his penis in your mouth.

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So robots, what image best describes /r9k/?
7 posts and 4 images submitted.
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Smug Wojak is pretty accurate imho.
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I'd say the BUS best describes the 2014-2016 /r9k/.

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goin on a snack run, anyone want something?
34 posts and 7 images submitted.
Skittles and watermelon iced tea
Don't forget my pizza pockets, Anon
Pepsi and chef boyardee

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Ask an anon who came inside of this married mother of two while her husband was working a 12-hour shift anything
89 posts and 20 images submitted.
is it her? original
how do you live with yourself?

degenerate tats
color me surprised

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How do you cure cocklust?
Asking for a friend
25 posts and 6 images submitted.
Get a girlfriend, you filthy prison-fag
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By sucking 99 cocks and sitting on 1.
Jayzus Chryse

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>most men are predators
>care nothing about simple stuff like cuddling
>only want to pump and dump
>super creepy most of the time
>stalk anyone mildly cute
>murderers are mostly men
the world is so scary anon
96 posts and 29 images submitted.
wemen are the same,piss off
lock your doors bitch
Lol, maybe 50 years ago. "Men" are too beta these days to even be creepers properly.

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