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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 492. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

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Who here /comfy/ living quarters?
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
thats a nice studio OP. how much?
how do we know how thick the walls are?
105 bong per week

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>cahsier recognizes you and remembers your order
>can never go there again

Anyone else know this feel?
7 posts and 2 images submitted.
u kidding me, this is the best feeling. I've always dreamt of coming up looking cool to a cashier and say "I'll have the usual buddy" or something
>not rotating so people don't know how bad you eat/how much you drink
peon, i'm not even a robot
I stopped eating fast food because of this. I can't wait until restaurants are automated or at least have self-checkout like grocery stores.

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Who /drunk/ here?

What are your frustrations in life?
What are your objectives?
Why are you drunk?

For me it's:
>Being a social retard and a lazy piece of shit.
>Becoming a self-made know-it-all billionaire who can be as smug as he wants because he owns the world.
>acknowledging how much of a retard and delusional fuck you became during two years of complete isolation hurts

Now I have only one objective, gaining more knowledge, that's all I'm good for.
14 posts and 4 images submitted.
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can i save ur wojak pls ?
what will you do with all that knowledge anon ?
Whoever wrote that "code" doesn't know what they even wrote. Line 23 should return 0, as that line running does not signify failure, it runs every single time.

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I unironically hate women
18 posts and 3 images submitted.
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I unironically hate myself
How wasnt that already taken by the robot?

Anyways, kys faggot.
That's why you'll always be a virgin sweetie

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Guys, now that I think about.
There isn't a significant shortage of proctologists, right?
Does it mean that there are thousands of people among us who went to college with a firm determination to work with people's anuses for the rest of his life? Like "mommy, I want to be an ass doctor when I grow up".
7 posts and 2 images submitted.
Well, no. That's not how it works. If they grew up wanting to do anything, it was probably wanting to be a doctor. So they grew up, went to med school and after a few years picked a specialty, which usually happens because there's an area they find interesting or it has a shortage of doctors or there's a lack of research being done in that field. Nobody grows up thinking they want to be an 'ass doctor' any more than an engineer grows up wanting to designing driveshafts for the rest of his life.
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i have to go to a colon an rectal surgeon at least a couple times a month and get a needle in my perianal area and i always think about this like damn this guy signed up to look at my fat ass and drain butt abscesses
kyle: "does that mean at some point he decided he wanted to work on people's assholes for the rest of his life?"
chef: "yep"
kyle: "what a dick"

ITT rose best moment
i'll start:
>they gotta save the money (the jews) its important for them.
6 posts and 4 images submitted.
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when she cucked ~100k people for this
whoz da ho
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Just imagine waking up to this and tasting black pudding everytime you purp.

Dont fall for the alcohol meme guys, i only started one year ago and this is the result.
10 posts and 1 images submitted.
what even is that? puke?

blood puke caused by esophagus damage.
wow really? you liked your post so much you made it into a thread?

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>artificial hymen or restoration of hymen
>"The normal aim is to cause bleeding during post-nuptial intercourse, which in some cultures is considered proof of virginity."

How is a guy supposed to choose a partner in 2017? What the fucking fuck they can just fake this shit now and we would have zero idea. That girl who says she's a pure virgin and you broke her hymen could in fact have had 50 dicks in her before you. WHAT THE FUCK!
8 posts and 2 images submitted.
>oneitis has saved her hymen for the bridal bed as God intended her to
N-nothing to worry about right guys? I'll still be her first when we get married...
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You do know you can rip a hymen by just riding a horse right?

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>you will never meet a girl who shares your hobbies and interests
16 posts and 5 images submitted.
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>all girls that share my hobbies and interests are mentally unstable and have many other red flags
What are you interested in anon?
Tell me your hobbies and interests, I'm sure out of all the people on earth you can find someone into it
idc if they're mentally unstable, so am i

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discuss this cool image i made
11 posts and 1 images submitted.
Wow, I wear shirts. We should hang out sometime.
what the fuck are you trying to convey?
cool a post that isn't autistic

10/10 thread OP

How do I get awkward DPRK gf?
9 posts and 2 images submitted.
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It's literally impossible anon, Impossible.
Go to North Korea and hope they don't Warmbier you
Once it's collapses

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Failed normie thread, no virgins allowed.

> last time you got laid
> reason your dry spell is so long

September 2010
4/10 looks, social anxiety
10 posts and 2 images submitted.
About 2 weeks
But its been almost a year that I creampied a pussy, so I am craving that now
This is literally a >>>/soc/ thread, they have these all the time over there
What is your pic? What's the point

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Guys I pretty much have no choice but to become a 100% shut in wizard now for the rest of my life.

>go to gamestop, see cute cashier
>remember the GameStop girl meme, don't really flirt with her, but talk games with her when I check out, she's super friendly
>gives me butterflies but I know better than to try and get with her
>just let myself enjoy having a crush on someone for the first time in years
>go in a few more times to buy games and chat, one time she even approched me without prompted and started talking to me
>still, this is strictly workplace friendliness I know, so keep chats game related
>one day see her on normiebook
>she's mutuals with some Stacy I went to highschool with
>click on her profile, sure enough it's her
>put phone in pocket and go to take a shit
>finish my shit, go sit down and check my phone
>she's messaged me
>heart picks up, check message
>"why did you tag someone in my photo who wasn't in it?"
>heart sinks, autism kicks in
>"haha, just an accident, sorry."
>delete the conversation

I guess I like, pocket tagged someone in a photo of hers? Now I can never go into her store again. she was cute too.
13 posts and 2 images submitted.
I think you handled it well, it was an honest accident and you told her, there's nothing to worry about

that entire store knows you as the stalker dude now
I'm still never going to that store anymore. It was so humiliating.

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>tfw addicted to shoplifting

who else here /lift/?
16 posts and 3 images submitted.
>got caught

git gud
Only because I get greedy

I've been doing a lot of speed recently and stealing things. When I'm sober I never get caught, it's just when I start tweaking out for days I do these wierd shoplifting binges where I can't help myself and don't give a shit
Lol, I have a misdemeanor shoplifting charge and court coming up soon. I've stolen $1000s worth of items that I never got caught for. Shoplifting is lucrative

I've been away from home for over a week and ready to KMS. Every road is flooded and I'm going stir crazy.

Fuck, I want back in Texas now, but it's too late. I have access to a rubber hose for strangulation or a toaster and a bathtub for electric execution. Tips before I go?
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
>letting a hurricane kill you
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If you wanna go at least go in an interesting way. Buy cowboy clothes and two of the biggest knives you can find, then go to Houston and fight the street sharks
>dodged a bullet by not being in Texas
>want to go back to Atlantis: the state

buck the fuck up OP lmao

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