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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 2646. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

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Love me ;-;
45 posts and 17 images submitted.
You are loved op
Don't lie to him, he's not loved kekeke
Shut the fuck up
He is loved.

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If you don't like THICC, you're a homosexual or a pedophile, and that's just facts.
23 posts and 10 images submitted.
original thicc bitches
Short and petite is my thing am I a pedo?
Most likely, anon. But it's not too late, you can condition yourself to love the THICC if you try hard enough. Look how many gays and pederasts we've converted on /r9k/ alone. A real woman has a fat wagon.

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"Son, men like a woman who is confident, and there's nothing more confident than a man who is just being himself. All you need to do is apply yourself, and you'll see results. Just walk up to her, give her a firm handshake, and ask her to be your girlfriend, that's all it takes. Good luck, sport."
8 posts and 3 images submitted.
Dad this meme won't work on girls, give it up
"Chin up, champ, don't give up now. Back in the day, girls chose their boyfriends based on the firmness on their handshake. Your mother had many admirers, but in the end, they way I looked her in the eye while I was shaking her hand is what won her over."
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"Also, remember, Champ: Women like a man who can provide for them. It's simply a matter of getting a job. And the best way to do that is to show up, speak with the manager, give him a firm handshake, and hand him your resume. Once you have a job, the ladies will practically be chasing you."

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>another beautiful summer day of tfw no gf
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
>summer day
Pick one. Summer is too hot and not ideal coziness weather
>Too hot

I hate this meme and everyone that bitches about the heat. It's infinetly better than the cold, my fingers and toes always fucking freeze in the winter time.
Wear a jacket doofus.

Have a hot cup of coffee to hold onto

Buy a space heater

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>A bride killed herself after her husband rejected the results of the virginity tests she was forced to take.

>Rajabbi Khurshed, 18, killed herself 40 days after her arranged marriage with Zafar Pirov, 40, in the village of Charbogh, Tajikistan.

>Pirov demanded his wife take two further virginity tests in addition to the government-required exam in Tajikistan.

>He then asked for a second wife after refusing to believe the results.


Mandatory virginity tests, these people are decades ahead of us. Get the fuck in here bros, men win again.
10 posts and 3 images submitted.
An 18yo girl takes her life after being forced to marry a 40yo man. Yea, these third worlders are definitely decades ahead of us
how the fuck do you even prove her hymen got torn having sex?
Men don't get cucked into marrying some loose slut. Yes, decades head of us.

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>that kid who refuses to give up the controller after several game overs
13 posts and 6 images submitted.
im glad i had no siblings or friends growing up so that i could have all my games for myself
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>That kid who started crying after you beat him in a videogame
Whoever lost had to give up their controller, for some reason my infantile mind thought that was a good system.

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Could you date a girl with a big ass?
15 posts and 7 images submitted.
no because my penis is 5 inch
>big ass

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Yes but not like that one. I want a girl with an ass like pic related.

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already called my mom a bitch, whore, cunt, pig skin, and asshole today

deciding what to call her next
20 posts and 4 images submitted.
a saint for putting up with your shit
teenagers were a mistake
Neck yourself edgelord blox

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Honestly, think about it. Is living life even matters? I am not even suicidal but this question bothers me. It doesn't matter if your life is good, or bad. The end will always be the same. 100 years from now it wouldn't mean shit if you fucked a roastie. 150 Years from now no one will even remember you. You will literally mean nothing to this world, to the point that it doesn't even if you lived or not.
23 posts and 3 images submitted.
nothing matters anon, just do what you want whenever you want wherever you want to whoever you want
It doesn't matter at all but while you're alive you can suffer
Assuming nothing matters, why live at all? Suffering is painful and happiness is meaningless.

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>this is world-class art that goes for millions in auctions

why? I could do this
16 posts and 2 images submitted.

But you didn't, did ya
I wasn't alive in 1960 was I
Lots of people could do this, but only the first one wins the game.

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>not getting a thick third world wife and pumping her full of hot semen every day
29 posts and 8 images submitted.
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why would I do that when I can have a cute gf(male)?
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Gross man

I'd say that guy needs a beating but he's probably so far gone that he would simply enjoy it.

Thought it'd be nice if I made the election thread myself (mostly for my own sense of uselessness).

Most of you know the drill by now. First people to create a trip in the next 10 minutes get put in a strawpoll, voting ends in a half hour because we're a fast board.

I doubt whoever becomes the next rep will have much to do at this point, shit's more symbolic than anything nowadays.
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
the fact that nobody's bothering to run is kind of surprising

lazy NEETs, kek

That fact that you think you were ever /r9k/'s representative or anything more than an attention whoring tripfag shows just how delusion you really are.
What a retarded faggot

seriously holy lmao

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>"Anon, you know the rules! You can't have a shirt on in my pool party, so take it off!"
13 posts and 6 images submitted.
I actually really like greentext roleplay threads.

I'm a skelly with a huge protruding ribcage and I'd need to immediately slap on some sunscreen so this would gross out literally everyone present.
I look like this but skinnyfat dadbod
You can try to take it off, but be warned: it will be extremely painful.
pls post photo of chest my fetish :s

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Where are my anarcho-robots?
92 posts and 47 images submitted.
It's just me friend, but I don't like to openly admit it thanks to the cringe fest that is anarcho-whatever movement
I'm an anarcho-primitivist, I feel like every other anarchist hates me.
I hate all anarchists that add some sort of identity to anarcho. You guys make me sick!

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Fucking love.

So my chad friend takes me to the beach with his girlfriend and bi friend. I'm gay, and how my friend was talking, I had a feeling he was trying to set his friend up with me.
I meet this dude and holy shit, he's absolute perfection. Extremely nice, funny, and a face to die for. He and I hit it off immediately, we are cracking jokes, he gets me out of my shell, we are playing around on the beach. He keeps joking about his big dick, so I'm thinking there's an attraction.
When he smokes cigarettes, I decide to join him. I don't smoke but I take a few drags just so I can get close to him.
So during all of this, while he and I were getting more sunscreen at our towel, I explained I'm awkward and I asked if it'd be alright if I hit on him. I didn't want him to be offended if I just started.
Well he looks at me and says he doesn't mind if I flirt, but he probably won't flirt back...
He explains that he just got out of a bad relationship.
Now, I'm an attractive dude. I'm not a chad, brad or anything, but I've got enough looks. I'm not ugly, but I'm hairy. I start thinking maybe its that. I've taken rejection because of it before, plus this guy is too nice to pass up a great friendship, so while I was a bit sad I was content.
I decided to spend the night at friends house with them. we just sit around playing videogames,
Handsome and I cuddle while we play.
Chad friend sees this and he and his girlfriend talk about how they knew we'd hit it off. I'm embarrassed, he's embarrassed.
They keep talking about how we should keep it down tonight, since me and him are sharing an air mattress, going to cuddling. Bi has been annoyed since chad is high and been acting like a jerk, and says "No offence to you, anon, but Chad, I need to know a guy before I sleep with them"
From what I'm told , he doesn't have much sex.
Only sleep with six girls from what I'm told.

Part 1
12 posts and 1 images submitted.
>I explained I'm awkward and I asked if it'd be alright if I hit on him.
God dammit I can't decide if this is horrible or adorable.
Please dont continue this story you fucking degenerate homo.
So we are sitting around eating, watching Netflix. I'm cozied up to him. I glance on his phone and he's on tinder.
>morale is getting lower
I get pretty sad at this point. Not noticeably but I'm getting feels thoughts.
I decide to go for a walk, he joins me.
We are walking around Chads neighborhood and I don't know what it is about him but I just open up to him.
Probably more than I should've but I guess its too late now, but I'm complimening him, he's not a drug addict, he hasn't smoked weed in months, he's a sweet guy...
So after the walk we goof around on minecraft until we decide to hit the sack.
For two hours, we laid there on the air mattress, talking, like deep talking like we did on the walk. I've never felt the urge to kiss someone in my life, but I didn't. We were telling spooky stories, I talked about what if our high friends killed us earlier and now we were in a strange limbo where its forever sleepover, and when we figure out its never ending, they try to kill us.
He looks out the window and looks at scary faces in the trees, we are laughing and scaring each other, so much to the point he gets up for a cigarette to calm his nerves. We sit there, he shows me his favorite song, then we go back to bed. We are sitting there spooning, I'm holding him. He eventually falls asleep, I go and turn off the outside light (because we were scared earlier) and go back to cuddling. He sorta grunts after a while so I assume he doesn't want to cuddle. And we didn't really. I'd cozy up to his back but I'm so afraid of overstepping my boundaries that I sorta avoid him.
Then we got up the morning and I was absolutely sad. It didn't help that he kept texting his ex-girlfriend all morning.

Part 2

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