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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1611. page

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ITT: Things that immediately disqualify you from being a robot

I'll start

>he isn't a pedo
21 posts and 2 images submitted.
>regular haircuts
>has a job
>eats anything other than microwave meals and frozen pizzas
>girls phone numbers in their contacts
>has an account on any social media platform
>has ever taken a selfie
>isn't vitamin D deficient
>she was born with a vagina
5/9. Ok, i am out of here.

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>that guy who was always drawing in class
>that guy who was fat and ugly
20 posts and 1 images submitted.
>That guy who would finish his work early before everyone else during class, start talking to people and then get sent to the principals office for interrupting
>he still got straight A's in all his classes
>That kid who tried too hard to be funny
>That same kid who kept trying to be funny and eventually forced a teacher into tears because of their constant interruptions
>That kid who was friends with only immigrants who barely understood English because they were the only ones who didn't judge him
>That kid who's parents abused him and came to school with a black eye once
>that kid who hid in the bathroom stall during lunch so nobody saw him sitting alone

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My therapist says he doesn't dream. Can I really trust a man who doesn't dream?
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
>so well rested and comfortable he does not dream
>no pains to keep him awake in night
>no worries to dream about
>no living out of what ifs in dreams
Nah, it probably means he's a psychopath.
Better than you can't trust yourself, apparently.

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Guys, problem here. I met some girl online(I'm half black btw if that matters) and found out something horrible about her. She's arab, from the middle east. I found out she's from Pakistan. Should I even bother dating her or is it a waste, I don't want to end up honor killed by her family.
8 posts and 1 images submitted.
by definition of honored killed means they kill her.

Is she at pakishitistan rn? if shes american, how mudslime is she ?

t. Palestinian
she lives in Dubai currently, I think she's rich or something
Nice. Since she's in Dubai her family are likely to me more progressive. Go for it.

Its another "Can't stop listening to music that reminds you how alone you are" episode. Put me out of my misery by giving me a (you)
21 posts and 10 images submitted.
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Foster the people is shit taste anon
>YWN be a qt lesbian couple
Why... Why won't they talk to me...
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>You are like a little baby, watch this...


17 posts and 2 images submitted.
OP isn't even trying anymore
low quality bait
HI can you help me install optifine for minecraft 1.11
No Mr creeper you can't come in my house NO CREEPERS ALLOWED

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Anyone here /homeless/? I might be soon. Any advice?
16 posts and 5 images submitted.
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perhaps it is you
You need money to pay rent eh?
I don't know who will is, but you're a good person for looking out for him anon

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>spend every weekend smoking highly concentrated weed oil and playing depressing folk songs
10 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>take xanax every night to just zone out on music
>wobble around for a while and sometimes take night walks
>live in a ghetto area around LA but it's nice at night despite the tents and homeless

It's the comfiest feeling.
brendan is that u?
How do I into night walks? They sound nice but kind of dangerous as well

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Who else /bloody shits/ here?
Didn't take a pooper for three days then this bad boy comes out.
8 posts and 5 images submitted.
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Another angle.
I had a painful fart shortly after this.
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With a bloody piece of paper on top of it!
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I've been on and off wiping blood from my ass for 6 years or so. Had to get a colonoscopy and everything. Middle aged Asian lady stuck her finger up my asshole with extra lube. It wasn't ass cancer or anything like that, it was my awful diet and lack of fiber.

My shit comes out like bricks after not shitting for days and having painful intestinal cramps. It must cut my asshole open as I'll occasionally wipe fresh bright red blood. Maybe someday I'll actually have ass cancer and I might not even know until it's too late.

Why don't you just move to a small town far away from all the normies ?
45 posts and 6 images submitted.
>Why don't you just move to a small town far away from all the normies ?
No job
too expensive for me. Australia is too expensive.
I don't like small towns. Makes me feel lonely. I like living in big cities.

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Robots, answer me this.
Is it worse to never be loved, or to experience love that will eventually come to an end?
7 posts and 2 images submitted.
Would you rather have a million dollars and enjoy spending it all or would you rather be poor and miserable all your life constantly wondering what life would be like if you were a millionaire.
>love that will eventually come to an end
But that experience will stay with you forever, without that, love is something you could never fully understand. Those moments, even after their gone don't become truly bad memories. Would you prefer a life with some happiness, albeit fleeting, or a life full of nothing at all?

This is coming from a long time NEET, so another perspective might vary. But I feel strongly that mixed feelings/experiences are better than nothing at all.
I had a good love in my life, even if she didnt love me back or whatever but it came to an end. I can say by experience that if you either got dumped by or lost someone you genuinely love, you'll have this terrible feeling inside of you. But if you dont find love, there's only the cold breeze of loneliness you will feel, and we all know we can handle loneliness. That's what us robots are made for.

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>Talkin' to this girl
>Friends said she is into me
>Flirt with her

Where did i fuck things up
14 posts and 2 images submitted.
Post text messages. This is a very generic post otherwise.
Does the friendzone even exist?
If I was able to have female friends I wouldn't complain about lack of social skills anymore.
>24, in uni for summer program
>staying in a dorm
>shit sucks, everyone is 18 and acts like a child
>there's one cute girl
>guy in my class says she thinks I'm cute
>I can tell she's into me
>weekend coming up
>Friday come around
>hit bar by myself, get liquid courage and think about what to do
>snapchat her
>she invites me to the club with her girlfriends
>roll out in a car full of girls
>start dancing
>immediately tell something's off
>ask her for a moment
>say 'hey, is the age difference too much or what? You're literally the only reason I'm here'
>this look on her face
>.....'I should introduce you to one of my friends'
>I'm kinda fucked up at this point
>feebly mumble 'I'll be right back'
>beeline for the exit
>briskly walk back to dorm in disbelief

Still not sure where I went wrong. That was a week ago. This ugly dude who came here from a farm has been all over her and she seems to be into it. Makes it even worse.

Oh well, I go home tomorrow and I'm going to cut contact with her and move on. I just don't get it. I regret not pressing her for a reason.

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Everybody needs somebody to talk to that will take them seriously, this is a thread just for that!

Tell me what's bothering you, let's talk it out, maybe you'll feel better?

Or maybe you could just use some attention, we can talk about anything you want fellow robots and fembots!
182 posts and 27 images submitted.
I spelled my name wrong that's not a very good start.
I'm a male and I hate being a male, but I don't have the guts to kill myself.
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what if i want to feel sad?

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Is it racist to want to live in neighborhoods with higher percentages of white people?
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
>Is it racist to want to live in neighborhoods with higher percentages of white people?

not at all. assuming youre american, the only other two choices are niggers and spics as your neighbors, and they're not pleasant neighbors
nope, that sounds pretty normal to me

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asian bros -

would you marry a 30 year old asian roastie who wants to have a traditional asian family and bilingual children?
7 posts and 3 images submitted.
I like that image. Yes but only if she hasn't been ducked by more than 5 men
They would leave us after a few years anyway
Asian women get their white BFs to be bilingual, and get mad at you for making fun of their attempts. Enjoy being second class to your own mother tongue while someone else ravages it,

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