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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 3440. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

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Hi guys, a cyborg here.
I need help. An old friend whos a lesbian texted me today and said shes coming over to my town to mainly drink & shit. She later called me and told that she`ll bring friends from another town who are probably sluts + they cant afford a motel and want to sleep at my place. The lesbian friend hinted that if i want "action" I can talk to her & she will basically guide me through.
This is basically every robots dream, but I am no robot, Im a cyborg & I do not under any circumstance want to lose the V card.
They will be here in about 3 hrs & I ll have to go meet them at the bus station.

What in the fuck should I do?
38 posts and 2 images submitted.
Just relax. If you really don't want to do anything with these girls then don't and be okay with that. But if you actually want to get laid, you have to take initiative nigha. They're girls, what are they gonna do, beat you up?
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The same thing happened last summer, but the lesbian friend brought over a used up russian slut.
I managed to make her back off, even made a thread, but nobody replied.
ps: if you need any more info, ask me, I will answer.

This is a real situation and Im running out of time. PLEASE GUYS I NEED HELP I DONT KNOW HOW TO ACT AROUND WOMEN

Its quite common here to find out that the bf of the girl you benis`d will beat the shit out of you once he sees you.
The girls dont even tell you that they have a bf. Hence not wanting to lose my V card.

Additional info: I live in an apartment & they all have to fit into my room. I might me quite literally fucked if there are more than 2 guests.
I have a sofa/bed what can fit like 2 people, which is occupied by the family dog mostly.
And theres my bed. Its small & could fit 2 people but I dont want to.
I just sperg out when this happens, which is very rare. Im deathly afraid of close affection & anything to do with love, because of past experience when I tried to get a gf. It fucked my mind over and changed me.
+ my birthday is in 2 days. Anyone got any good ideas/ways on how to relieve stress? Id go for a smoke but im all out & broke.

tl;dr = Shits complicated & they want to fuck me over.

>Live with aunt
>Earn good boy points for not watch furry and trap porn
>Getting really horny, haven't watched trap or furry porn for 3 weeks
>10 GP for 1 Joey Blowy from Uncle, 15 from Aunt
>Start jerking off to trap porn
>Uncle catches me
>Says he won't tell if I give him Joey Blowy
>Give Joey Blowy, get one in return
>Uncle helps jerk me off to Trap Furry porn after finishing
>Didn't have to spend GP on Joey Blowy
>Didn't lose any for watching trap porn
6 posts and 3 images submitted.
Wha... wtf anon
XD let me make le epic meme arrow story to post to leddit!!!

God I can't wait for summer to end.
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Here's your originalio (You).

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ITT: normie advice, I'll start

>stand up for what you believe in :DD
49 posts and 17 images submitted.
just b urself mang and go say hi it always works for me
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>"just be happy"
>"You don't do X, so you can't be depressed"

Go back to pol op and eat black cocks there.

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who here absolutely addicted to internet porn and sorta trying to stop but it sends too much endorphin out to ever stop ?
9 posts and 1 images submitted.
It's hard to begin with, but I believe in you. Maybe delete everything you have? If you can bring yourself to do that, things get easier.
How do I get an empornium invite?

The only way you will reduce it is if you get off the very machine that's enabling you to watch porn. this includes reducing your phone usage. Yes, you have to take such drastic measures if you are serious about it, it is an addiction after all so you will also have to change your environment.

Ask a 65 yo guy anything 4chan . . . i was to young to be drafted for VietNam but i was certianly Alive in tne 70 80 & 90s

I'm on r9k because this board speaks to me . imagine being a loner in 1976 . no internet no anythng . just tv and books

all these years . not a child or grandchild! im ashamed too say this but i am virgin to this day

anyways questions? i wont picture my lisense or pic myself because it's against those rules

i forget why i posted OP picture .. . am i doing the meme right guys?
19 posts and 5 images submitted.
face + timestamp or gtfo my man
>page 2
i guess im not slut with tits or whatever . fuckin faggots
Post a pic of ur wrinkled arm or anything to prove ur old

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>tfw lost almost all the hearing in one of my ears as a preteen
>the other ear was fairly normal but is struck with tinnitus every one in a while
>The tinnitus probably started when a bully screamed in my ear as hard as he could in highschool
>had to ask people what they were saying multiple times if they're standing on my left side causing them to believe I was retarded
>tfw sometimes after the tinnitus my ear is sensitive to high pitched sounds (even breathing loudly) and they make my ear ring

I'm scared shitless. If I lose my remaining ear, I'll become a useless disabled person and I'll have to drop out and use sign language to understand what people are saying.
I'll have to watch everything with subtitles and I won't enjoy soundtracks and shit. All I'll be able to do is remember what the world used to sound like.
I don't know if I should kms if it comes to that.
The doctors can't do anything.
Is sign language universal or specific for every country?
6 posts and 3 images submitted.
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hang in there.
Deaf people can manage
>have shitty hearing for like 6 years in my left ear
>Finally the other day a huge solid chunk of wax the size of my fingernail falls out
>Hearing is back

Fuck yeah
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Lucky you.
I spent a long time hoping that it was just wax. But then it wasn't. It was permanent nerve damage

How do I ask an old friend to hang out without being creepy? We were good friends in school and I was too autism to notice she liked me so we drifted. We spoke a bit online when I first visited home from uni but nothing more. I just dropped out and moved back, it's been 3 years and "you wanna hang out" sounds so cringey.

Help me pls, this shit has been giving me palpitations for days. I just wanna go back to having friends and maybe getting this qt to suck my dick
11 posts and 2 images submitted.
Call them on the phone or message them on normiebook
chances are she forgot all about you, has fucked 10 guys since and you'll probably end up like a friday night drunk convo "hahaha omg so this dude from my school 3 years ago just contacted me look what he texted me"

how do you even know she hasnt moved on etc?
that's exactly why i haven't messaged her bc that's probably the turnout. i'd forgot about her desu but she popped up in the top section of my messenger contacts on facebook, which has something to do with how much they browse your shit right?

last time we spoke she was really busy with work (?) and had a long-term bf (!) but both those seem irrelevant from a quick fb search

When a guy goes swimming does his ass fill up with water then does the water flood out when he gets out of the pool?
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
no if you put your finger in it
Only if he's gay.
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(post is oregano, I promise)

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25+ General

Things might get better, things might get worse, things most likely will stay they same
81 posts and 16 images submitted.
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>khv aspie neet
>dad died yesterday
>everything is shit
>no bank account, don't want to bother mom to buy me games from steam summer sale
>turning 28 this year
>about to have first job
>NEET for 8 years
>never worked a day with my nursing degree
>forgot everything i knew
>supposed to just start, in a foreign country, in a foreign language
>not cut out for nursing (having to talk to people)

I'm not even close to that yet, but I'm already freaking out. I'm basically waiting until they find me a suitable job and I am going insane because I am stuck. Can't go back to just lying down and hoping to die, nor can I expedite the procedure.
Got into woraking out in september,
broke my spine falling off a car when some drunk fuck drove into me.
On the bright side my doctor said it can heal and ill be walking maybe in 4 years.

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>tfw this slut with a desfigured face because an acid attack found a new boyfriend

17 posts and 5 images submitted.
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Lmao. /r9k/ literally BTFO.
you envy a person you don't know that had her face burned with acid
let that sink in anon
I hope someone has tipped the feds about this acidanon. It's disturbing how he posts this all day long. Hopefully he gets arrested before he actually does it.

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Who here actually /Cyborg/?

I can barely talk about something else then video games, Books, movies and music.

However I try to be social, meet people, go to parties etc [which I hate]
And somehow at the ripe age of 23 I slept with 4 different women.

However I can not mantain a relationship and I can barely speak when I should talk to a woman.

Im not a normie, yet I do not classify as a Robot. What am I?!
17 posts and 2 images submitted.
a gay faggot attention whore
Hmmm no you're a normalfag.
Imagine saying this out loud to someone. "Normie", "robot", "cyborg", etc. They'd think you were insane, because those terms only exist here and a few other (online) places. What is most likely the case is that you're a great guy who just over-analyzes and thinks less of himself than he really should. Also, there is nothing wrong with you for not liking parties and only being able to talk about certain things. Think about it. What do most normies have to talk about? Probably less than you and 99% of people on this board. The only reason it seems you have very little to talk about is that normies are fucking vapid and have tricked you into thinking you're the weird one when their behavior is fucking absurd.

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mmm yummy cherrys
8 posts and 3 images submitted.
post more pIs
i miss d'awww threads.
someone will post a pic of a toddler in them then the mods will delete the entire thread.
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>post more pIs

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Who here honing useless skills?

Pic related - I've played 400 hours of this game and reached the highest level.
9 posts and 2 images submitted.
would you mind spilling a couple tips
big fan of tetris but haven't devoted much time to it
For 2 player battle, earn to do T-spins. I can do like 160 lines in 2 minutes with those. Also, look up "finesse", in other words, learn how to place your pieces with the least number of keyboard presses. Sit further back to use your peripheral vision more.

t. grandmaster
i can do t spins fine but i cant seem to set them up very well.

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>desperately wanting to lucid dream
>realize it requires a proper sleeping pattern
Should I stop being such a lazy fuck and get in the habit of having a healthy sleeping habit or is it just a meme. is anyone here /lucid/?
13 posts and 4 images submitted.
I lucid dream pretty regularly, like every 1 or 2 nights, once you get into it it's really worth it anon, also as a tip if a dream journal doesnt appeal to you just start telling your friends your dreams on discord or some other text based chat.

It's a great way method for escapism and is well worth the sacrifice of late night hours once you get it regularly.
shitty grammar but I'm sure you get the idea.
My sleeping pattern is so terrible right now. Like some nights i dont sleep at all and the next i sleep for about 14h. How long would it take me to fix that up to out me in a state where I'm able to lucid dream?

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>every girl I get to know is your basic stereotypical airhead

How does one get a non-normie gf? Even when this rare incident happens, they're either ugly or average-looking.
24 posts and 2 images submitted.
Why would she want you and not Chad?
You might not know this anon, but every woman is an airhead.
This. Every woman is a vapid, depressing whore.

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