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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1290. page

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>he isn't a landlord charging normies absurd rents
9 posts and 4 images submitted.
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Landlord checking in, it fucking sucks.
Shall I assume you've got tenants too, OP-kun? Got any stories to share?
Landlord here
The people renting from me always have some sob story about not having the pay on time (mom has cancer and i need to pay for treatment, wife just left me, have to pay for my childs vaccines) and it fucking sucks because i don't have the heart to do it
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Fug that sucks, what are you renting and what sort of people do you have as tenants? Mine have been excellent payers so far, but plenty of other shit.

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Would it be creepy for a guy in his 30s to give a non-related 12 year old girl a somewhat expensive birthday present?
55 posts and 11 images submitted.
Yes, if you aren't filthy rich. Although I guess it's different if you're her godparent or something?
What exactly is she to you? For example, I know a 12 year old girl who's the daughter of some friends of the family, so I feel like that wouldn't be creepy. But there's a lot of room for creepiness in the scenario you described
yes you fucking pedophile

>tfw I don't need to lie about my age on 4chan anymore
20 posts and 7 images submitted.
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>Being born in 1999
>Being born in any year after 1995

Yep, it's time for you to leave.
you will never leave, none of us will
Yet you're not any less of a fucking piece of shit faggot.

>TFW the girl you were dating for 6 years got engaged the year after you broke up and now pretends you dont exist
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
probably didnt see you as marriage materlial, but clearly wanted to get married

But well yea since you broke up after such a long time its probably better you dont have contact anymore, for both of you
>tfw only gf you ever had just had a kid and is married and still sexy
worst thing is the guy she is married too is uglier than me.
>has had a gf

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>75% of women have had a mmf 3 way by the time they are 18
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
100% of ops are fags for not providing sauce
99.8% of women have laughed a man shorter than them at least once
Citation needed

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There is no hope for us. Euthanasia/assisted suicide should be an option for us.
10 posts and 2 images submitted.
Assisted suicide doesn't make sense. If you can't kill yourself, why should someone else do it for you?
So you don't fuck up
>my family loves me
>have friends
>enjoying the neet life
>talking to girls
I think my life is pretty good actually, don't even consider myself as a robot. Im just here to see people doing worse than me

Which one of you spread your autism on TV?

6 posts and 2 images submitted.
my type is usually dorkier guys, but this is too far. being this far on the spectrum is my limit
Wrong site pal, this guy's a redditor. You can check out his AMA on here:
He should hook up with his mothers friends.

Online relationships.

Anyone ever made it work?

I know it's probably only 1% of them that work out.

My experience: After 3 years she just found someone else and abandoned me for him with no warning.

I got my heart broken, felt like an idiot, but the worst part is that I have such a hard time letting go. Months later I'm still feeling completely terrible, like I lost an important part of my life. Because she was my best friend to, the person I'd come home from work and talk to about everything going on in my life.

I told myself never again and now I'm starting to develop feelings for someone else who I talk to online. There's a chance we can meet in the next few months but I'm considering just cutting all contact because I know how it ends.
20 posts and 1 images submitted.
I met my girl online and we've been living together 2 years now

My opinion is that contrary to popular belief, it CAN work. You just have to keep a couple of things in mind.

>it won't work if she's a shitty person
>you're going to have to put effort into it

But that's like anything
>it won't work if she's a shitty person

What do you mean?
If you want a serious relationship you need to be sure that you're both serious about it.

You need to be sure she's not just leading you on for some sort of validation and will drop you when someone else comes along.

I guess this kind of trust is built slowly over time from getting to know someone really well but even then it can be hard to judge.

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>you will never become a pirate and sail the seven seas
42 posts and 16 images submitted.
Jesus, we robots would be the first to be thrown overboard for being useless shitters.
That's not really what's troubling you is it??
>fantasizing about being a smelly sea nigger
>fantasizing about being enslaved to serve burlier, smellier sea niggers
>fantasizing about gum decay, syphillis, lung disease, and illiteracy
>fantasizing about living in a cramped shack with guns that floats through the ocean.
>fantasizing about dying of sepsis and dehydration on a plank raft because the english sea police wrecked your shit.

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>starting college in 2 days

I didn't attend any orientation programmes. Am I fucked?
21 posts and 4 images submitted.
No, the orientation programs are useless.
What? No, I mean, if you're totally asocial then yes, otherwise just barge into groups, since they haven't really formed properly yet, if anyone wonders why they haven't seen you, you were abroad, somewhere exotic, say Thailand or something, use that as a point of conversation with the people in the group
Good luck anon!
I didn't go to them either.
>abroad, somewhere exotic, say Thailand or something
Lying is bad and you should feel bad. I just told them I was drinking and playing vidya and nobody has asked me anything after that.

So I finally matched with a girl on tinder and we're going on a date tomorrow. The problem is I lied about my height since you guys said girls suck at estimating height. I told her I was 6 feet tall when she asked. I'm only about 5' 8" and it turns out that she's 5' 11". Is there any way I can salvage this? I've been on tinder for months with no matches
18 posts and 6 images submitted.
>. I'm only about 5' 8" and it turns out that she's 5' 11". Is there any way I can salvage this? I've been on tinder for months with no matches
platform shoes

or boots, wear boots with lifts in them
You're only supposed up to 2" off. RIP you.
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Just wear heels my man.

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When was the last time you went out socially?
100 posts and 24 images submitted.
I go out to places sometimes with family if that counts. Otherwise I've never been out socially as I've never had friends.
Went out to a restaurant for dinner last week and went to a dive bar yesterday. Was contemplating calling some girl who was flirting with me earlier as well.
>inb4 chad get out reeeee

Last week to the bars

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>I have a dildo.
>It's hard to reach back there and doing it for a long time gets uncomfortable fast.
>Plus, it's just not as good as having a man do it. Moving by himself however he wants to and you can just lie there and enjoy. Hands gripping your hips and slapping your ass, warm breath on your neck and his voice groaning softly in your ear. The full weight of a man on top of you, smothering you with his body and holding you in place while he uses you.
>There's no comparing it to just using a dildo.

But Anon, you're forgetting about how ruthless and selfish men are, how rude and unhygienic they would be, foul breath and piss smell, vinegar ballsweat and cheese feet.
58 posts and 24 images submitted.
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How arrogant they would act, treating you with no respect, maybe insulting you for being a queer and ridicule you. Getting degraded and put to submission may appear hot but when the dude actually insults you and take advantage of your kink to make you feel like shit, since he'll likely be a judgmental normie scum, after all.

How bad fuckers men are, especially during random hook ups, they will most likely ram your ass dry in one go, not letting you a second to warm up, nor stretching you slowly, it'll tear your insides, then they'll cum in a minute top, going flaccid right away and leaving you sore with no desire to ever again touch you.

You seem to forget how easy it would be to get HIVs, gomorrah, herpes and a lot of sexually transmitted diseases, most of them being impossible to completely cure.
And that would be the best bad ending, you could very well get literally manhandled, punched, maybe stabbed, you'd be crying in pain for him to stop and he'd keep fucking your half numbed skull while breaking your ribs with a steel bar and leaving you as good as dead in a dark corner of the street. Or he might steal your credit card after he finished fucking you, get your infos and blackmail your family with pics he would have taken with his phone from behind. You never know how evil can be.

Is dropping your dildo and trying gay sex a good idea?
You tell me anon.

t. An Anon who cares about his fellow Anons.
this is a valuable public service announcement
Dohohoh, aren't we a cheeky little bitch?

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I'm so used to everyone on discord being male that i've been talking to a girl without knowing it for 3 months now. She was always really hesitant to voice chat because she didn't want me to know, and now that I do, I just want her to be my waifu. How do I escape the friendzone
27 posts and 4 images submitted.
This is why you don't break the voice chat embargo.
Im too nervous to talk to her anymore, wtf i hate voice chat now
this happened to me, let me warn you though I wish she had never told me.

So was it ever proven this post was made by Chris Mercer? Also archive link if you're feeling nostalgic

8 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>this was almost two years ago
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time flies when you are having fun ha ha
It wasn't, even though news outlets took it for granted right away. Literally the only evidence is the chronology, but we get posts like that every week anyway, so it could plausibly be a coincidence.

I guess it's more interesting to believe.

Holy shit

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