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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 5503. page

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As a light brown guy, how do I attract black girls?
8 posts and 1 images submitted.
Men don't say, "as a". Nice try Monique.
With bananas
Works the same for both male and female monkeys
As another brown guy I have to say that isn't true

Not gonna lie I really like bananas, they are my second favorite fruit behind pineapple

That's a very rude insult though

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>be me last summer
>just got home from deployment
>gf left me while I was overseas
>confide in a few friends about what happened, they helped me through a lot of it
>Good friend of mine, we'll call her Paige
>Paige and I went to school together, were always friends
>never really attracted to her. She's pretty, but I was more friends with her than anything
>We talk about it because her and her bf had just broken up, she could relate
>Fast forward to when I get home
>Happy to be home, friends greet me, we get drunk, have good times, etc.
>One night while drunk at a fire, Paige and I make out
>Felt really awkward the day after, ask her if I made shit weird
>She says no, laughs it off
>We have a group of people that hang out every week, multiple days a week
>One night while drunk, friend of mine, we'll call him Jim, tells me how he likes Paige
>Like REALLY likes her, borderline obsessive
>Tells me he's dumbstruck by how pretty she is and that something about her just draws him to her
>Feel kinda bad about making out with Paige, but didn't know how he felt before so fuck it
>Jim didn't always get to hang out and drink with us because of work and shit
>one of the nights he's not there, Paige and I make out again
>we were both into it, felt right, so we continued
>I ask her the next day how she felt about it
>she tells me she enjoyed it and wouldn't mind going again
>meanwhile, Jim continues to profess his love for Paige to me every time he gets drunk
>Sometimes cries about it because he feels like she would never go for him
>Paige comes over my place one time to hang out, just us
>we end up fucking
>not just one time, but several
>Jim is becoming cringe-tier with his dealings with Paige
>asked her out once, she denied him and told me all about it
>He comes to me and tells me how he asked her
>I'm stuck somewhere in the middle, fucking the girl my friend had strong feelings for
>This went on for a few months over the summer

70 posts and 15 images submitted.
why not, keep going
Yes post the rest in the >>>/trash/ where it belongs you Instagram, FaceBook, Twitter, and Reddit crossposter.
You're a shit friend.
>yea dude I'd get over her, I'm actually fuckinf her right now
If he's a bitch and hates you for this then he's a pussy who can't accept women are whores and he never was a true bro to begin with.

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>grossly incompetent at my job
>coworkers all hate me and yell at me
>refuse to quit and for some reason haven't gotten fired

Who else /devilish/ here?
10 posts and 3 images submitted.
how does Donald keep getting away with it?
Fuck you Matt, get some self actualization about how much you suck and jump in a dumpster.
May not agree but still funny... Good job

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A new thread for the mentally sound
503 posts and 80 images submitted.
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>this thread

i wouldn't go back to that dentist
What is for din dins laddosnn

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>tfw no bf to ignore me while I suck him off
39 posts and 11 images submitted.
I've heard all the fun is in watching him react.
women like guys who don't like them, they don't want a guy who is all into them, they are suckers for reverse psychology
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/LGBT/ plz thanks :)

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My cat died today and I feel absolutely horrible. he was one of the few things that gave me genuine happiness. I never realized until now how how much I liked him, I would always find him waiting by the door for me in the morning and I would give him some pats before leaving and sometimes he would follow me to the car, always purring. when I got home today I found him laying there by the door where he would normally be rubbing against my leg before I fed him. I dont know what to do anon, have you ever lost a pet that was dear to you? how did you cope with it?
15 posts and 4 images submitted.
Yeah having a pet die is always a drag

But another one always finds it's way into your life somehow

I wonder how many cats I've gone through, at least 6 goddamn
That is a really shame my friend. I have lost a dear catto as well. It was my shitty parents' fault. Both times, in fact. I had a cat that became extremely retarded through my mother's mistreatment of him.
I'm sorry to hear about your loss, anon. How old was he, what breed and what was his name?

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All normies into the gas chambER
9 posts and 3 images submitted.
Fucking robot, fight me
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forevER in our hearts and minds

Heil Elliot, may your sacrafice never be forgotten.

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>Vividly dream about having a gf for the third time this week
>that stinging sensation of loss when waking up
>the subsequential shame of being thrown out of balance and state of mind ruined for an entire day until I go to sleep to repeat the cycle

I think I'm finally losing it guys. All we did was kiss and hold hands. I think my brain is going into panic mode from the lack of human experiences I should have made more than a decade ago by any standard...
26 posts and 10 images submitted.
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I know that feel all to well OP. I often dream about simple things, going bowling with friends, or going out for drinks. Then I wake up, and remember I have no friends.
This seems like a stupid question on /r9k/ but why do you have no friends?
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This hit too close to home...

I.. gotta go...

proof that females have it easier than males

in just matter of seconds after uploading a photo of a girl to a dating app i get assaulted with non stop messages of guys greeting me and telling me im sexy

fuck you all vapid whores it's actually really all about looks and not because nobody pays attention to you
154 posts and 17 images submitted.
>Hey do you need money?
This just gave me an idea. What if we all made fake accounts as females and got betas to give us money for nothing or "sex". Women do this already so it's not like we are violating some ethical code or something. Easy get rich quick, I'm not even sure if this is illegal
why are you using that faggot font
>i get assaulted with non stop messages of guys greeting me and telling me im sexy

How is that a good position to be in?

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How do you sleep?
63 posts and 15 images submitted.
7 but with my right arm stretched out off the bed.
With women
like 13 or 14, but with my arms covering my chest like a good boy

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OK you beta bitch, you got me tied up, whatcha gonna do now?
43 posts and 8 images submitted.
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Scoop your eyes out
Untie you, let you leave, and enjoy my nice comfy house that I apparently own
And now I will sing for you the song of my people.

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>be me
>walking through college campus
>outdoors, lots of open space, with concrete walking paths
>cute girl walking 50 feet in front of me
>notice that our trajectories are on a collision course
>try to change direction
>she does the same thing
>still on a collision course
>change walking direction again
>she does the same thing
>still on a collision course
>now 10 feet away
>try one last time to make it so we aren't on a collision course
>fails so I have to awkwardly sidestep to avoid walking into her
>mumble "excuse me" under my breath

FFS! WHY IS THIS SO DIFFICULT??Does this happen to anybody else
20 posts and 7 images submitted.
This happens to figuratively everyone else.
Eh, practically is better there
I stand by my original path, i don't move for anyone.

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I'm 18 and a senior about to graduate high school.
I got a C in Calculus for the second semester, and all A's and B's for my other classes. Will the 6niversity I'm accepted to revoke my admission since my first semester grade was a B?

I'm getting really bad anxiety over this.
If I get kicked out of university before it even starts I'm literally gonna commit suicide.
8 posts and 2 images submitted.
Your overall GPA is what matters. Also, go to a community college then a university to save money. Don't fall for the educational jew.
you'll most likely be fine, but depends.
Which uni?
University of South Florida.

It would be a great dishonor to my family if I attended community college.

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Are you still clinging to hope that one day you will magically transform into a normy? You know you are just on the path to Wizard-dom and will off yourself on your 30th birthday

10 posts and 4 images submitted.
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achieving wizard status is really peaceful. all your cares and self judgment fade away in an instant.

don't give up home

Thank god I played RS

Almost every single RS meme I see makes me feel warm inside. Nostalgia mixed with laughter, I love this sensation.
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sure thing


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Reminder to all ""fembots"", with minimum effort you could literally have sex with a decent looking guy within the next 12 hours

So why aren't you?
9 posts and 1 images submitted.
because sex is gross and i don't want to
Because I don't enjoy sex unless I'm in a relationship with the guy.
>because sex with anything less than Chad is gross
There FTFY.

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