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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 626. page

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dubs names my Steam account
11 posts and 1 images submitted.
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lol i fug
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Pumpkin Diarrhea
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>>39321147
BangingReiAyanami

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Do women like it when you compliment their body or does it have to be subtle and just go for the clothes?
9 posts and 7 images submitted.
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>>39321062
Doesn't matter what you say or how you say it. What matters is what you look like.
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>>39321183
Please no meme advice. I just recently started using Tinder and I've never dated so I need real advice.
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>>39321211
If you need advice for tinder, then you've already lost.

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Why haven't you become a vigilante?
9 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>39321061
>"saving" hookers
I mean, taxi driver romanticized hookers to an extent, but most hookers WANT to be hookers and know that in their line of work they can take advantage of men. Why would I want to try to save them?
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>>39321150
>muh parental instinct
>muh excuse to commit ravenous acts of violence
>muh Scorsese
>muh 70's aesthetic

Puerile angst manifest.
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>>39321061
Taxi Driver wasn't about a "vigilante", sure Travis did vigilante actions but it was more than that, and he was better than any vigilante, he was a man at war and the war wasn't over till he said it was over.

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I'm thinking about being a Hooters girl and I want insight from robots about what it might be like for me in there.
I figured that you've gone to one to practice socializing with girls, or maybe you just wanted wings.
I'm a 26 year old virgin and the only reason I'm doing this is because I can't find a real job and I've got big titties. I'm just hoping a job like this wouldn't lead to having stalkers.
19 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>39321037
pic of titties or make yourself scarce.
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Might be tough to find a job, Hooters is closing some locations because millennials are killing Hooters

http://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/millennials-have-a-new-attitude-about-cleavage-thats-forcing-breastaurant-hooters-to-close-locations-a7900506.html
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I used to deliver food from Hooters. the girls are pretty social and often flirt with customers to make tips. If you can do that then try it. You also have a good looking face or they wont hire you

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Bros!!!!

I have a killer idea for an app:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1t4m9wlyXlZgeeeIEbZZLZQC2z6MKxtYiMdMeC8IdwoM/edit?usp=drivesdk

I have a bit of people interested and want to be on board, but I'm not sure who to hire.

Should it be:
>Me
>Coder
>Coder
>Business guy
>investor

I'm trying to decide who to hire, who to look for. Don't want to hire the first people interested.
17 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>39321021
http://www.meetup.com/

already exists.
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>>39321021
My email is [email protected]
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it's shit, apps like that already exist, but idk try what you want, it's just my opinion.

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Hello robots I had mated with a female yesterday for the first time at the age of 20. I hope it will happen again. She enjoyed it but I didn't even cum. With this first time I would have to say that my had does a better job then any girl can. Stay unemployed and living with your parents I don't feel like there is any point to having a girlfriend, your hand will always do a better job.
6 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Hello robots I had cooked with a toaster yesterday for the first time at the age of 20. I hope it will happen again. It burned it but I didn't even salivate. With this first time I would have to say that my dad does a better job than any toaster can. Stay unemployed and living with your parents I don't feel like there is any point to having a toaster, your dad will always do a better job.
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>>39320896
goodbye, desu. may life take you to better places than the hell that we know.
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>>39320896
You had sex only once and call it overrated? The better you get at it + getting a more compatible or better partner will make it awesome. Most people don't have a great first time so you shouldn't have expected so much.

I had sex twice but I was lucky and it really was the best feeling in my life.

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Should I start smoking cigarettes? I'm bored and depressed
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>39320792
No, r9k is the only unhealthy addiction you need
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it provides momentary relief but can result in an unhealthy addication
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In the long run you'll end up bored, depressed, and poor. Cigarettes are pretty expensive boyo

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I have not masturbated in four days. I have archived a higher form of calm.
20 posts and 5 images submitted.
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>>39320772
8 days here, longest i've ever been is like 20 days. Oddly positive mood atm, even tho life is shit.
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I have no choice but to not masturbate until the 30th.
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It's not like you will make this last anon, just kys.

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H-how do people figure out what condoms they need? Not that I'm expecting anything, but I want to prepared just in case. Do they just buy a bunch of different kinds and try them on?

>tfw too afraid to go anyway to buy them because someone might recognize me

t. 5.5x6
19 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>buy condoms
>if they are not the right size get a different kind
how fucking stupid are you?
also if you're scared of people seeing you just buy them online.
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>>39320696
I don't have that kind of money, anon
>>
Go to a convenience store nowhere near where you live, and buy the three pack of regular Trojans for like three or four bucks. They'll either fit or won't, and you'll know what direction to go next.

>you will never NEVER be turned into an actual robot
Why bother? Being a cold emotionless machine with a consciousness is my dream
6 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>39320556
Well anon I think the closest you'll be able to get to that dream is some augmentation of your limbs. But that's if you're lucky enough to be alive when that becomes a widespread technological advancement.

Also putting the consciousness of a person into anything else is most likely impossible. We only have a certain amount of brain cells and they don't come back.

I personally think that if we figure out how to regenerate brain cells we'll be one step closer to immortality, but until then its impossible to transfer our conscious into any other type of body.
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>you will never be a cyborg
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Hayden's voice was ORGASMIC

In public bathrooms, do you put toilet paper on a seat, or do you go raw?
17 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>39320425
Raw but I won't go at all if it looks dirty. At work the bathrooms are relatively clean.
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>>39320425
>tfw Austria
Toiled bowls in public bathrooms are so clean you could eat out of them.
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>>39320425
I just squat on the toilet seat, hell will freeze over before I touch a publicly used toilet bowl with my bare skin.

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I don't understand why people want to get laid so much. Like sure, fucking your hot coworker or a girl you met the same day at a coffee shop sounds nice, but there's the possibility of getting an STD or getting her pregnant, even if you do use a condom. For me, the thought of these things overpowers my desire for sex. Do you horny anons even think about these things?
16 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>39320416
most people act off instinct and let conscious thought make sense of it later, if even that much

people like you and me though, let the higher functions rule the day
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I would literally saw off one of my fingers to smell a girl's panties right now
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>>39320416
It's becoming increasingly evident that casual sex fucks you up and makes you a garbage person
I'm lucky I didn't fall for it while it was a meme
I'm still looking forward to meeting someone special but you're right I think

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>hot and sunny day in London
>feel awful seeing attractive women everywhere who consider non Chads subhuman
>feel under pressure to do a million different things in my free time (learn programming, make money somehow etc) and read shitloads of boring as fuck classic books or else I'll be called a pleb
>everything feels like work, every activity consisting of a hierarchy filled with drudgery

I can't really emphasise enough how demoralising it is to see Chads and Staceys everywhere. I'm an ugly subhuman locked out of any opportunities. Going to the gym never made a difference.

My youth is being wasted yet I have no way not to waste it. I have no passions. I hated my degree. In short, I've never done anything intellectually fulfilling in my life. And the working world is nothing but a test of normieness by normie clones.

Currently sitting outside, hoping my youth will spontaneously become good.

Background:
>aged 26
>no friends or social life since 18
>no female attention ever
>went through university with zero social experiences
>became the loner nobody talks to within two days of my current job
>never been to pub, club, or party
>missed out on all the 16 - 22 formative social experiences that people look back on fondly (teen crushes, school prom, school dances, university fresher's week, any sort of relationships at all)
>know that women all have 5000 tinder matches and think the average male is ugly
7 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Haven't you posted this shit before? Stop asking for advice on 4chan, it's pointless.
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>>39320327
>hot and sunny day
>in London
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>>39320327
What were you doing during those formative years? Also you don't need to be stimulated if you don't enjoy it. Do you play video games? Maybe just find something in life you enjoy. Girls suck anyway.

>5'9
>Auschwitz at 120lbs
>Overbearing parents
>Went through hell after I dropped out of college
>22 with no diploma
>Look 15
>Can't grow a single beard hair
>Never had a gf
>Mistreated all my life because of my shit build
>Mixed race mutt
>Pursuing a nursing degree, one of the shittiest Jobs in Europe
>Haven't had friends or accointances on years


It's over for me kimosabe.

What are you guys up to?
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>39320322
Im also pursuing a nursing degree. I'm a nursing assistant now, but in the U.S. I like my job. I like the idea of being desensitized to shit, piss, blood, and vomit
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>>39320637
God damnit. People my age are managers at engineering firms, and I'm a fucking faggot who's going to clean up the mess done by aging fucks, all of this because I had a shit upbringing and absent father.

It's not fucking fair.
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>>39320753
Well. You could work your way up to nurse practicioner and make some real money. That's what my plan is. May take a while and I could be 30 by the time it happens but at least Ill have lots of money by then. Hopefully the world won't be fucking desolate from climate change or nuclear war once i get there lol.
I could give a fuck what other "successful" people are doing. As long as I have the money to eat healthy, go to the gym, have a car, have internet, and be comfortable I couldnt care less. I just want to be left the fuck alone lol. You shouldn't worry so much. I used to be the same as you. Stop giving a fuck and enjoy your monotany. I guarantee those "successful" people you envy so much have just as much if not WAY more hardship and responsibilities AND stress than you

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>go to job area and speak to front desk
>ask im here to apply
>apply for first job
>fill application then directed to speak to manager
>feigned my ability to come off as capable of doing the work
>hired
>given necessary equipment for work duties
>leave after interview
>did the firm handshake thing
>his was much more firm than mine
>on the way home talk to myself
>being my own support
>get home
>dont think i can do this job at all
>considering going back there today and dropping off the equipment
>going to apologize i cant do the job and for them not to call me

ive been neet for 3 years and a hikki for 2 and i thought if i could just go and apply it would come on its own but it isn't, this is a real job with real responsibilities. i suffer from mental problems and struggled to speak clearly during the interview - i even had trouble asking for the application to apply. i dont think im cut out for this job after all robos, i think i need something that requires less of me or in a different way...
9 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>39320269
What job is it anon
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>>39320269
Just go and try you moron, you might be able to pull of a few months and get payed for it instead of watching japanese cartoons in your undies
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>>39320288
A fluffer


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