It's my birthday today and I received this out of the blue.
Did I hit rock bottom.
Tfw your deadbeat dad you haven't seen since you were 7 calls you to say he is dying from lung cancer.
>mommy's big bouncing 400lb boy
>having a bubbly bubble bath in my reinforced steel tub
>making tendie flavoured bubbles from my poopy hole
>love feeling them tickle past my mighty 2 inch peepee
>squeeze extra to hard to make an extra big bubble
>suddenly the water turns to gravy
"REEEEEEE! MOMMY! I POO POOED IN THE BATHY TUB! NOW YOUR BABY YOU MUST SCRUB!"
"MOMMY! THE WATER IS ALL BROWN AND STINKY! THERE'S TENDIE JUICE ON BABY'S WINKY!"
>still no response
>i lift my ample frame out of the brown smelly sludge
>it has rendered me covered in slippery poop juice
>slide my way downstairs on my belly to see mommy and another new chaddy daddy cuddling on the couch
"oh, anon... i thought you were still in the bath... didn't you play with that plugged in toaster i gave you?"
"BABY POOPIED IN THE BATH! CLEAN IT UP OR FEEL MY WRATH!"
"listen champ, your mom and i are trying to watch the movie. how about you go upstairs and give us some private time. you might wanna clean up too, you smell like shit"
>i can feel my tard rage building
>grab my loot crate exclusive replica minecraft sword and strike chaddy daddy in the head
"that's it you fat little shit! you're gonna get it!"
>he charges and attempts to grab me
>my shitty coating has turned me into a slippery brown seal
>i slip out of his grip and waddle upstairs towards the bathroom
"got you now bitch!"
>he charges me again but slips on a stray turdie tendie which sends him flying towards my rusty brown bath
>hold his head under the kf sea of poop as he struggles to fight for air
"DRINK MY RANCID TENDIE JUICE, THEN YOU AND I CAN FORM A TRUCE!"
>suddenly he stops breathing
>he must be dead lol
>talk to mommy
"CHADDY DADDY DROWNED IN CRAP! NOW MOMMY MUST TAKE THE RAP!"
"sure anon, prison has to better than this"
>get tendies at the police station
>turns out the death penalty is legal in this state
I guess she should've taken better care of her baby.
I asked chad at the gym something and he gave me a fist bump after talking
just turned 20
>still a virgin
>still playing vidya almost every night
>still in school
will it become better anytime soon?
We need to do something about Behind The Meme. We should make videos like how that kid did with CNN. I would like to hear some of your ideas anons.
hello internet and welcome to behind the meme where we take a look at the meaning and the origin of your favorite memes and trends
Jesus fucking christ, that channel's dude is annoying
I just want to shove those stupid gifs he uses into his probably white and rich teeth
I don't know what's worse, his voice or those fucking gifs.
Never had gf and probably never will.
But why does everyone get so triggered when I call myself retarded?
r9k what are your opinions on the proceedings pictured in pic related?
beastiality is fucking degenerate. people who fuck animals and jack off to anthro animals should be locked in a mental institution.
go to google translate and type in traps, google will suggest the truth
thank you for speaking the truth, futa and traps are gay.
>u ask her for coffee
>conversation flows but nothing flirty or hints
>she is interested in chatting
>u finish and walk out
>time to separate ways and say bye
Just a bye is lame. A handshake? Seems like cringe.
Would you give a cheeky kiss on the cheek?
Maybe change the event to drinks instead of coffee to make the kiss seem more spontaneous?
It's fucking coffee. Coffee isn't a date. Coffee is what girls get.
>trying to kiss after a coffee date lmao why don't you just mow her lawn or jump her bones after asking /a/s/l/???
How do we stop ugly, creepy men from thinking they deserve young, pretty girls?
He's only 'creepy' because he's old and fat. Christian Grey does the exact same thing in 50 Shades of Rape and you whores can't get enough of it.
So R9K.... Why don't you just lower your standards? Look how happy they are together!
How many teachers of yours do you think fucked their Chad students?
find a flaw
protip - you can't
Do girls hit on guys?
How often does it happen?
Where does it happen?
Why has it happened to me?
What kind of dumb girl hits on a guy at a bar? If anything guys will flock to her if she's anywhere. Esp if she even steps into a club or bar. It's overkill.
All I wanted to say. Good day :)
All those with Anhedonia (inability to experience pleasure), how have you been lately?
Lately I've been staying up odd hours, drinking unhealthy amounts of coffee, playing Persona 4 Golden, and mindlessly strumming on my guitar to pass the time. I read something today that convinced me I should be saving more money, so now I plan on buying less stuff. Also thinking about getting back into anime.
How about you?
I'm not sure I have it, but I may.
I recently started dating. The beginning of the relationship was exciting. I thought I would finally get rid of the thoughts which were plaguing my mind.
Well, no. After managing to win a girl, I suddenly lost 90% of the interest in her, also in sexual terms. Poof.
Nothing seems really interesting and the bad thoughts and regrets aren't really gone.