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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1231. page

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File: VirginHand.jpg (70KB, 556x802px) Image search: [iqdb] [SauceNao] [Google]
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This is a top quality form of shitposting.

I'll start

I-it's shitty on purpose I swear
7 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>38882170

High test in the north
>>
>>38882185
>>38882170

>not choosing Littlefinger as virgin
You. Had. One. Fucking. Job.

He even has lady cat as his oneitis who never loved him and he's a skinny manlet. How do you fuck this up?
>>
>>38882997

I was reading the bit of a A Clash of Kings where Stannis is going on and on about "Muh feels" and how Robert loved Ned more than him

Then "The Chad Hand" popped into my head because I'm autistic

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I fucking despise women. You don't kniw how much I hate hate hate women. For every number of posts on 4chan on a yearly basis doesn't compare to how much I hate women. They shouls not have rights, should not be allowed to use technology, and are mentally below my intellect. Women are sub human and should be considered property, not normal. Women on 4chan should not be allowed except to reveal herself as the slut object she is (tits or gtfo). Beta orbiters should not be considered men for treating women like a master. They are slaves of slaves and should be adressed as such. That is all.
13 posts and 1 images submitted.
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you are half woman though
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>>38882150
Is there some secret contest going on where all you butthurt robots are trying to out-sperg each other or something?
>>
>>38882183
t. Butthurt roastard
You are the kikes of the genders. You will never get my sympathy bitch fuck shit muncher.

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Is there anyone here that can explain to me how to get a job?
20 posts and 5 images submitted.
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Apply online on websites. Cant really go the the stores in person to prove yourself because they will just tell you to go online.
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>>38882201
I was told about an ancient secret 3 steps way to get a job, do you know anything about it?
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>>38882141
just be urself
originiggi

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So my little brother is starting his college apps. I can't really help him because I had good grades and got accepted into a B.S. M.D program and go to a super easy uni (Alabama) that gives me a free ride.

My parents want me to help before school starts, what do? I'm asking r9k because his accomplishments aren't that impressive, even though he's basically chad.
9 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>38882124
tell them to stop pestering you and start pestering his hs guidance counselors
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>>38882124
tell him to write a college essay about how he had to deal with an autistic brother

it's what my sister did
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>>38882124
What is a bdsm uni program?

/r9k/ I like tshirts with funny things on them
Design me a funny t shirt
I will buy the funniest design
12 posts and 8 images submitted.
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>>38882121
Your wish has been muthafuckin granted!
>>
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this one would be pretty cool
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>>38882121
this is my waifu. please wear her wherever you go.

Why do women age like milk?

Pic related. 45 y.o. J. Lo
14 posts and 3 images submitted.
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I think all that fucking make up and tanning has something to do with it
>>
Menopause. People are sexually valued for their ability to make children, and for women that is a countdown timer that ends around 40. Meanwhile men can make babies well into their 60s.
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>>38882119
>Why do women age like milk?

Because they wanted the "right to work".

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>be me
>be from Alaska
>be perfectly sane
>drive by a cemetery on the way to work
>icy dead people
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>>38882088
you have cars and roads there? i thought you go to work on sleighs
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I visited alaska once. You people are very ugly, why is that
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>>38882088
tfw no alaskan gf

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Gotta have a good whine, this is not an interesting story so don't read for any plot twists or w/e. Just a whine.

>Be 2 years younger than brother
>We were close as children
>Be half Caucasian half Korean
>Older brother is handsome, Caucasian looking chad
>Be bizarre looking mongrel
>Asians assume I'm Caucasian, Caucasians assume I'm Asian
>Brother is accepted by Caucasians
>Grew up as a loser at school
>Brother grew up popular
>Lost the race mix genetic lottery
>Have unique race-mix phenotype, bizarrely proportioned, asymmetrical facial features
>Be ugly
>Brother has well proportioned, handsome features
>Parents didn't bother to hide their favoritism
>Not to sound mopy, not to sound like a special snowflake, but I genuinely don't think my parents ever loved me
>In retrospect, the favoritism was fucking savage and unfair
>Live with parents still, and it's still that way
>Brother has had somewhere in the vicinity of 10-13 GFs in his life so far
>Be 22 year old kissless virgin with no friends
>Rotting in loneliness
>Brother used to ski with me, but stopped when he realized I was a sad loser, not fun to be around
>Skiing was my passion
>Kept at it for several years alone
>No one to ski with anymore so I gave it up
>Barely scrape my way to graduating highschool, with help from the councellors pulling some strings for me
>Gave me special treatment and had to put me on the "mental disability" list to get it through
>Graduate with an ATAR of 50 too low to get into university
>Brother graduated with an ATAR of 94
>Dropped out of a bridging course to get into uni
>Worked for the same after school care organization as my brother since 17
>They stopped giving me shifts at 20, couldn't even fire me but forced me to leave
>Genuinely tried my best, thought I was doing well, but they thought I was shit apparently
>Meanwhile, my brother won the staff of the year award for the entire organization as a beloved manager
13 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>That same year, my brother graduated from the best uni in Australia with an STEM bachelor's degree with honors
>I spend the same year as a friendless hikikomori NEET
>Be severely depressed since age 12
>Be severely ridden with general anxiety since age 12
>Have severe social anxiety since age 12
>Unable to function in public/social settings
>Brother is a social butterfly
>Spent late childhood and teen years giving my brother massages
>Tried so hard, until my hands hurt every night
>So lonely, always seeking his approval
>Always chasing small bursts of self-worth every time he said it felt good [to the sick fucks, no, this is not going sexual]
>Every night give him massages, seeking acknowledgement, trying to spend time with a fellow human, seeking approval, while not studying, failing my classes
>Every Christmas, every birthday, every Easter, he is showered with gifts from kids and parents
>Came home with every time w/ multiple boxes literally filled to the brim with chocolates, candies, bottles of wine, snacks, cards, and
various nicknacks addressed to him. His room is packed with that shit for half the year every year
>I swear to fucking God I am not exaggerating
>Needless to say, I have never received a gift from anyone outside the family
>Brother eats out with friends multiple times per week
>I'm always eating with my parents
>Tfw they ask if I know when he'll be back and where he is, forcefully reminding me every week
>Brother is a high ranking black belt and beloved instructor at his martial arts thing
>Modelled for them, his handsome face is on the company's vans and brochures
>Brother is currently making 70-80k per year, and has been for a couple of years
>Spend life alternating between making <10k and being a hikikomori NEET
>No matter who he goes with, he never lets me come and eat out with him
>Every NYE celebration, same story, I'm at home, he's out
>So painful, at the 2015-16 NYE I go out alone anyway so I don't have to face that feel
>>
>Greentexted the experience on R9K, first reply was word for word "Jesus Christ anon, that's fucked"
>Brother just bought an appartment that's currently being built
>Fancy as fuck, prime location
>Looks as though I'll be living with my parents for the foreseeable future
>Drive parents' car, they pay for my phone bill, petrol, insurance, everything
>Bro pays for 100% of his shit
>He gets along swell with the family
>Meanwhile dad hates me, has without provocation called me a "bastard ching chong"
>Alternate between being severely depressed but not suicidal and severely depressed and suicidal
>Can't talk to anyone about my racial issues because pure blooded Caucasians and Asians don't understand
>Grew up having Asians roast me for being "white", and whites for being "Asian"
>Brother, being Caucasian looking, roasts me for being "Asian" as if he's 100% Caucasian
>Parents, especially Asian mum, openly racist towards Asians
>Talked shit about Asian men when I was a boy
>Tfw sad pepe 11 year old feeling like a piece of shit chink
>Be an effiminate sounding, non-existent libido, sexless mute
>People ALWAYS think I'm gay and don't believe me when I tell them I'm not
>Go entire days saying <5 words all day
>Brother has a confident, loud, deep voice
>What do? Suicide? Heroin?
>No one acknowledges or asks me about my issues, everyone turns a blind eye to me and sweeps it under the rug
>Contemplate daily
>Can tell family worries about a potential Day of Retribution
>Mum sees me standing next to a kitchen knife while toasting some bread
>Mwf she moves it away from me
>Find solace in taking up weed (as of 2 days ago) and skateboarding
>>
i hope you feel better soon
no one deserves to lose the genetic lottery

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Reminder, you must accept pic related in order to not be racist, k anon?
12 posts and 3 images submitted.
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He must've told her he wanted her to stop seeing Tyrone and sleep with him.
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ok thanks dude this really cleared some things up for me really quite a good thread to be quite honest
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>>38882006
Teenagers are hilarious

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The face that launched a thousand ships.
198 posts and 151 images submitted.
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>That thing has a higher sexual market value than you

A bullet to my temple please sir
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>>38881970
A black woman has a higher sexual market than a white man
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>>38881945
*Pays her to talk to me to*

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>wear backpacks everywhere
>tie their shoes the exact moment they get undone
8 posts and 2 images submitted.
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>>38881896
>>wear backpacks everywhere
how else will i carry my things??
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>>38881896
>tie their shoes the exact moment they get undone
It's more autistic to walk around with your laces undone
>>
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>>38881896
>that guy that laughs and says 'that's funny' shortly afterwards

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http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-4764424/Amber-Heard-splits-PayPal-billionaire-Elon-Musk.html

We're all gonna get Martian waifus. We're all gonna make it.
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Automatic Cars
Robo Waifus
Freedom on Mars

ELON PLS
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>>38881892
based elon. now i really think the guy is kind of a genius
>>
Elon is not a brainlet like Johnny Depp, plus his shit is hot now, he can do way better than a 31 year old washed up actress

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Are you having a rough day, Anon? Well that's too bad. Why don't you go lie down while I make you some dinner.
25 posts and 7 images submitted.
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Like a raccoon even knows what a refrigerator is, let alone food.
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Fucking bestiality posters leave
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>>38881875
>bestiality
>wrong
nice job falling for the (((legality=morality))) meme goy

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>that large transition from hope to despair when you get a gf and then cheats on you and break up with you the next week.
6 posts and 1 images submitted.
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What'd you expect ? You didn't even fuck him
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>>38881715
Imagine if Kyubey just used robots instead of young teenage girls. He'd have more despair than he knew what to do with.
But then again, no magical girls....
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>>38881910
>robots can be mahou shoujo

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what are you drinking on this fine saturday night
personally im washing down pic related with some tonic
gin and tonic is a patricians drink'
also go on omegle tags r9k
33 posts and 13 images submitted.
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>>38881712
I have a bottle of vodka next to me a Chick-Fil-A sandwich. Haven't opened the vodka yet because of distractions.
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>>38881712
I'm drinking unsweetened vanilla almond milk
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>>38881712
>tfw washing the pain and regret down with the hardest liquor I could find
I really hope I don't wake up


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