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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1170. page

This is a red board which means that it's strictly for adults (Not Safe For Work content only). If you see any illegal content, please report it.

My GF is in heat and wants to get pregnant. So now the way we fuck is so different. It's like more casual. So she will be riding me while reading a book and flipping the pages. I will be fucking her while she is on the computer. We fuck like three times a day so that I can impregnate her. Well, she is really social and has a lot of friends. After fucking probably three times a day, when she put me on a regimin for testosterone, weight lifting, cooking me steak, zinc, I still could not make her pregnant. She blamed me always. Well, she denied me her tight pussy last week. She said she's been seeing a guy, one of her college friends, who is a black guy. she said shes only friends but that hes everything she wants. hes funny, healthy, strong, has a good job. she said she cant help it but she sees herself possibly having his baby instead of mine.
I said you're seeing someone else while we're fucking? She said they just had lunch a few times. Now generally there is no use reasoning with a girl, since they are fully controlled by their hormones.
So my girl gave me an ultimatum, that if I cant get her pregnant within four weeks she's going to start fucking him.
She said I can still fuck her when she's sexually active with him, and whoever gets the DNA test she'll marry, be an amazing wife, mother to the child.
Now she was really loyal to me for three years so I knew this was her hormones talking. 'May the best man win' kind of thing.
IT gave me a rock hard dick though. I didn't say yes or no because i could still fuck her for a few weeks. She was riding me reverse cowgirl and she might've noticed my cock was a bit harder than usual
12 posts and 2 images submitted.
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She was getting into it. She started confessing things that I had no choice but to hear. She said that morning she had breakfast with him, and that she blew him, and that the taste of his cum was still in her mouth. Then she's just bouncing up and down. she said that she let him fuck her later and she was stunned his cock get so hard so soon after filling her mouth so much jizz. She said his cock made an insane amount of cum, and that she felt submissive against it, like that the more a cock cums the harder she works to get every drop, even when the third burst of jizz has no chance of impregnating her, that really only the first burst does, she still gripped his ass and pushed him in with every burst of cum. She said his cum was in her mouth and in her pussy even in that moment while i was fucking her. i had no choice but to keep fucking her because my dick was insanely horny.

She told me she had actually met him for lunch everyday that week, and that he fucked her every time. That she wasn't even planning to fuck him, but that he just started grabbing her, fingering her, and she felt she had no right to turn him down, just because it felt so perfect, that her uterus was burning. She said she would leave every encounter with him that week, filled with his cum, and that she's never felt that kind of happiness before in her entire life.
>>
After I was finished cumming she rolled off me and pulled her panties back on. I told her weve been together for three years, and this so called friend she's just known for seven days and she's willing to raise his child and give up everything for him.
>>
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>non-greentext story
>Wall of text
>Cuckold
Shit bait. Saged

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What is the best way to find dealers or to get drugs without going on the dark web?
7 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>38915662
Just go to that hood, find the dealer, give him a firm handshake, and tell him you want to buy weed from him. There's no shortcut, Champ!

Those online markets are for quitters. I didn't raise a quitter!
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>>38915662
Go to a Gay Club or some ghetto part of the city and ask people
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>>38915732
This is literally what I did, except replace hood with nextdoor neighbor. Dude grows a fine cannabis indica

Just gotta ask around OP. If you got normie friends that's a start

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Who else /only pretending/ here?

>make $90k
>have gf
>pretend to be a fat 35-year-old neckbeard who needs tendies from mom
21 posts and 3 images submitted.
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We need that a Handshake Dad drawn in the style of that Pepe.
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Is this some next level mindfuck thread where we find out later that you're only pretending to be pretending?
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>>38915647

Fuck you joot

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After we die, there is nothing.
7 posts and 3 images submitted.
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Damn, man, conformation form a dead guy. Thanks, I always wondered about that. How/when did you die?
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umm actually you will be tortured in the flaming fire of hell for a thousand years before being judged and mocked by God and his holy host and sent back to torment for all of eternity. Unless you accept that Jesus did in fact die for your sin and resurrect into heaven with God the father, praise him.
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>>38915729
Uhm no, i'd rather believe Bugs bunny

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Could any beta twink pull off being a cute trap?
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>>38915616
>there exists men born men that look better than 90% of women

you can't make this shit up
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>>38915616
Only if you're Asian.
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>>38915616
only asians and latinos can do this
thats why japanese and colombians make best traps
white bois need to stop trying lmao.

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>go into /soc/ thread
>arrange meetup
>dont turn up

get fucked. who /DEVLISH/ today?
9 posts and 3 images submitted.
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>>38915485
>go to /pol/
>post thread saying Hillary won the popular vote
>>
>>38915485
>go on /r9k/
>post thread asking why no one has gf's
>>
>go on /r9k/
>tell them every job I've held, I got by applying online

Where is your God now, dad?

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>2 centuries from now people will probably uploading their consciousness to a VR to live out all their dreams forever
>this VR has the power to make anime literally real
>tfw born two centuries too soon
God is too harsh on us
12 posts and 6 images submitted.
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>>38915472
>born too late to explore the world
>born too early to have a tsundere Vulcan subcommander gf
>born just in time to shitpost about it
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>>38915472
wont happen anyways shitskins will outbread us and they'll bring us back to the bronze age
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>>38915472
>ywn meet your waifu in person in VR
SINGULARITY CAN'T COME SOON ENOUGH

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I think we're long overdue for a hmmm thread
6 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>deviner's sage
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>>38915509
I don't understand this at all so I suppose that makes it a good hmmm pic
>>
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This is a real head scratcher.

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why all normies and chads drool over this shit? its stiff, have no flavor, and extremely overpriced.
it also make you feel like shit because it has like 50g of protein and you can't even move after eating one, whats the point?

>inb4 hur dur low T beta
62 posts and 12 images submitted.
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>>38915419
>it's stiff
stop overcooking it to shit, steak is tender
>has no flavor
you're supposed to season it you dumb shit
>extremely overpriced
lol america

go stuff your face with junk food, dipshit
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>>38915419
Are you a woman? I mean, why else would you complain about a good amount of protein?
Fucking faggot, start lifting.
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>>38915419
How the fuck do you make it to adulthood without managing to have at least one steak made by someone who knew what they were doing? I pity you.

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Buy me please.
(no trolling)
12 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>38915373
where are you from & I'll think about it
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>>38915418
Post contact info.
:;#64*@)?ygab
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>>38915470
I need to know if you worth it 1st and if you're close

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Today my piano teacher bent over to pick up the sheet music from her bag and flashed her thong at me. Then she turned around, caught me staring and smiled.

Do I have a chance with her??
19 posts and 4 images submitted.
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>>38915368
no one cares faggot
post more mommy's
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>>38915379
But my piano teacher is mommy!!

Help me robros, how do I take the next step to suck mommy' boob???
>>
Here's what you do bro. Next time she comes over, look her straight in the eye and say "bitch I honk off to you". If her reaction is positive then you have a chance

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>there's no legit cure for balding

This hit me like a train. I'm not even 25 yet and my looks are permanently ruined. I'm literally a 2/10 just because of my stupid lack of hair. If I had hair I would be a good 6.
7 posts and 3 images submitted.
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Post pictures of your hair then.
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Just comb it over, Billy. Buzzing it looks unprofessional and makes you look like a criminal. No one will hire you if you have a buzzcut.
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It's not a super big deal. If you're out of shape it makes you look like shit, though, so start working out. Also, keep your head shaved or very short, obviously.

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YO I PLUNGE MY DICK

INTO THIS BITCH

IF YOU SELL ME OUT

NIGGA YOUS A SNITCH
7 posts and 4 images submitted.
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Pussy nigga you's a rat and I'm Tom
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I only listen to real rap. Please come to us Tomoko.
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>>38915283
Good song my African American friend

What would your familys reaction be if they saw the last porn you came to.

My sis (22) was using my phone and went to gallary and saw a glimpse of this before I snached it

Her reaction was "ew ew ew she's got shiz on her face. You jerk off the that shit?!" and turned on the radio just trying to forget it. Got over it pretty easy.
12 posts and 4 images submitted.
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I only masturbate to softcore furries, so, uh... when they see the image, will they actually know I was masturbating to it? Or will they just see it, devoid of context?

If it's the latter... I guess they'd just be a little weirded out at all the shirtless lions, and think it was kinda pervy I had that saved.

If the former, I think probably the fact that I fap to the softest, least sexual things I possibly could is going to freak them out far more than the fact that the subject matter is weird...

For some reason it really disturbs people when you *don't* watch graphic porn.
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>>38915261
Probably not a bad reaction.

I watch girls get themselves off solo usually

FeelsGoodMan not a big fan of benis in my porn
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I mainly just fap to TG/TF outside of that it's fairly normal (bondage, femdom, bdsm) to me, but I guess my family would think I want to be a tranny.

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Look at this alpha in his natural habitat.

Ax excellent example of just be yourself applied to a real life scenario.
8 posts and 7 images submitted.
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This guy does not play around.
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2 velcro straps = unlimited pussy
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>>38915224
Look at this alpha in his natural habitat


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