Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 2339. page

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>16
>just dropped out of college without telling parents
>spend entire days sleeping on park benches
>parents still think I'm at school
>decide to just kill myself
>don't want to die a virgin
>contact hooker on Craigslist
>lie about my age
>gives me her address
>tells me to wait at a park around the corner so her landlord doesn't see me
>get to park
>completely empty
>half an hour passes
>tall woman walks in
>thisisit.exe
>starts walking toward me
>don't make eye contact
>"Hi, are you Anon?"
>mfw
>look up to see the biggest tranny imaginable
>laugh nervously
>stand up and promptly break into a full sprint
>hear the sound of high heels clocking away behind
>turn to see tranny chasing me like some roided up athlete
>kick my legs into overdrive
>run about 5 blocks without looking back
>see a cabbie sitting on the corner
>jump in
>tell him to drive in a panicky shout
>he gets startled and starts arguing
>"ANON WAIT!"
>we both turn to see the tranny coming up the block full blast
>cabbie peels out of there and starts cackling like a hyena
>asks me what I did to the poor "woman"
>told him I was supposed to meet up with a girl
>he laughs even harder
>tells me not to worry about the fare
>drops me off at a bus stop
>go home and try to forget the entire thing
>only me, cabbie, and tranny know what happened

That happened almost 4 years ago, still a virgin.

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trap thread! post your cutest traps here

i'll start https://webmshare.com/KD4jr

they are real girls :)

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>tfw no massive belly gf

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> Meet Girl at store
>Great convo with girl at store
> Phone about to die gets girls number
> She saves her name in my phone as some cute future girlfriend or something

>Next day
>Spend all day doing nothing
> Text girl at 9pm saying hey (xxxx)
>Girl calls back hour later askes why I didnt text her yesterday or or in the morning

> Im like -____- thats a long story i'll telll you later
> Says before we actually get into talking or getting to know eachother etc. what are my intentions
>I freka out basically and avoid the question
>Says she'll text me later
> Doesnt text


Idk how to respond the intentions questions because i just want to fuck her.....and I dont wanna lie . but help me idk what im doing. So confused

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>It's 2am on a Saturday night
>Thinking of all the normies enjoying their lives, having fun, eating food, hanging out with friends
>You head to bed, trying to think of something to distract yourself from such depressing thoughts
>That creeping feeling of loneliness that is about to crush you again
>You stare at your twin size bed, tragically realizing that no other human being will ever rest in that bed
>You have to get up in 5 hours, is it even worth sleeping?
>After a long pause, you shut off the light and the anticipated wave of loneliness washes over you
>With your surroundings out of sight, you're forced to look inward
>The problem isn't your spiralling weight gain, lack of an attractive body or face
>It's your personality. You're repulsive. You're a loathesome, judgemental asshole who sees the worst in people and radiates negativity to all those who approach you
>Everyone who had shared their kindness with you was rebuked in some way by you
>You wonder if it's even possible to try to improve yourself, or if it's even worth the tremendous effort and high possiblity of failure
>You cringe, realizing what a horrible person you are from a third person perspective
>Before you even know it, you feel the dampness your old, unwashed pillow
>You must have been crying for some time, who knows when you started?
>Your entire life has led to this moment, a grown man balled up in his bed crying because the responsibilities of life were too much, and the happy parts of life were forbidden to him
>No one will ever truly love you
>No one is dependent on your existence
>You're headed on a road to nowhere, and you know God would have made himself apparent to you by now if he was really there
>Maybe, hopefully, a painless death will take you away from this suffering while you're asleep
>Fading away peacefully

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Another birthday is here.
Now I'm 30.

Still a fat fuck. Still a NEET. Still living with parents. No friends. No GF. Kissless Virgin. Probably held hands in kindergarden, the highlight of my sexual life.

I was gonna start my birthday by fapping to Pure Pure A Story of Ears and Tails. (Pic related). Then as I was going through the Hinata storyline I just broke down and started to cry.... I have fucking 30 years old and I have accomplished nothing, just fapping to japanese cartoons in my dark dirty bedroom while my parents are afraid to even knock the door for fear I'll be dead... or worse.

And this is not gonna change. Ever.
I tried, I'm an ugly failure. I can't stand to be outside. I only go out at night to take some air and shop for supplies. I'm so far gone I can barely interact with the cashier. Last time I was muttering I was going to pay cash and she couldn't hear me so I had to raise my voice, the entire staff turned around to look at me... I just got red faced, paid and left as quickly as I could.

I don't even have nice clothes anymore. Everything I own is torn, stained with grease, cheetos or cum. My mom has given up on buying me clothes and I can't afford any.

Just going to end it all pretty soon I guess. I'll make sure to stream it for you.

Thanks for letting me vent robots.
This is my only comfy place in the world.

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>Realized the roommates are making meth and selling it at the house
>Went to my moms house saying shes sick and Im taking care of her
>Waiting for the cops to raid the place right now

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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=so6LSuM3BhI

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Does anyone's pubes here constantly replenish themselves, and so you have to preen yourself like a dick bird?

I like to think that I could use to fuck over someone I don't like, like taking an instant handful of pubes, and putting it in their food; or giving it for a DNA test, because they're so intact, and easy to get.

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What does Scott Steiner think of Christine Sydelko?

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"I will hurt you. I will make you scream. I will make you suffer. I will do it all with a smile on my face." - Villain

How does one know if they will be kidnapped before one meets that person? Is there a way to know?

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Why haven't you moved to Asia yet?

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https://m.soundcloud.com/loui-lozano/tetris-bill-miller-loui-lou

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I have fairly bad aspergers and I'm not sure how to act or what to say to my family. I feel unaffected

I know there are quite a lot of normies on here, can you guys tell me what to say? I'm going to the hospital to see my dad (his brother died), I'm on the bus so hurry

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>tfw no cool sunglasses bf