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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 1284. page

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"No more video games for you mister. It's a beautiful day. GO OUTSIDE!"
"I will not take no for an answer anon. We don't want you back in the house until sundown."
Where do you go for the day?
21 posts and 5 images submitted.
Im going to go to every store, walk in, ask for the manager, shake his hand firmly and tell him im the guy for the job until someone hires me. Im the champ
"Looks like someone needs a $200,000 a year job and a wife and kids before they're allowed in the house then."
I would go to the abandoned trains. They're not too filthy and there are beds in one of them.

>One shot at life
>born a virgin
17 posts and 7 images submitted.
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like everyone else?
>have not just penis in vagina but whole body
oh yeah, fuck all those chads born without their virginity

Yeah man I was born a virgin too.

What a shit hand to be dealt in life, huh?

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A few months back, I would sneak into my little sister's room and do stuff with her... just little things, like kiss her and touch her places, and one time I wiped a tiny bit of cum onto her feet. Nothing that serious, nothing that would hurt her.

I only did it maybe 10-15 times, and then I stopped, but my sister and mum have been acting strangely for the past week or so, and two nights ago, I overheard my mum asking questions to someone over the phone that were pretty obviously related to what I did with my sister.

I immediately packed my bag and prepared to GTFO town as fast as fucking possible, only for my mum to confront me and tell me about what "your father" was doing to my sister, and talked about the possibility of telling the police. Apparently my sister thought it was my dad doing it, and brought it up in casual conversation with my mum, which is how she found out.

My dad has previous sex offenses (none of them actually that serious), so this might just fly.

Is there any chance they could get DNA off of her feet, and if it did, wouldn't it test as a match for my dad since we're both closely related?

I'm also kinda worried that maybe my mum is lying to me or fucking with me and knows that it was me all along.
121 posts and 11 images submitted.
I highly doubt she saved the cum on her feet, it's probably been washed off. You're fine, just stop what you're doing
First, you're a piece of shit.
Second, tell your sister it was you and apologize. Doing anything else will fuck up your whole family in one way or another.
Fess up and admit it while apologizing. For once in your life do the right thing. They won't forgive you if you lie about it and then they find it was you. It is better to confess. Be a better person.

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I haven't smoked in 3 days thanks to Chantix but I'm getting a strong urge. Should I go and get a pack right now and smoke? You decide.
14 posts and 2 images submitted.
Sure thing satan.
If you actually want to quit no, if you just wanted to just test out the waters than yeah, but youre going to have to start all over again.
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Stay strong my man, don't wanna get lung cancer and die at 40

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>tfw you were born after your mother was 35

that explains it all
15 posts and 4 images submitted.
>born when she was 20

Ahh, yes, my genes are great.

But I wasted them.
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>brother born when mother was 24 is a turbo-normie and always has been
>I was born when mother was 33 and have never experienced friendship
>you realise that you have had every opportunity in life to end up as a chad
>but you just would rather play video games all your life and you're now just a NEET

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I ll be everyones friend for today
13 posts and 6 images submitted.
okay friend, recommend me some anime.
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Oh when i said everyone, i meant everyone but you
Sorry anon
I'm making mac n cheese

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Ask a normie with a full time job and a gf of 4 years anything.
15 posts and 2 images submitted.
how old are you, normie? trans centre
>why are you here?

I'm 20 years old. Gonna be 21 in January

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Anyone else would have sex with literally any normal girl of any age aside from grannies and babies? If given the chance and I could get away with it, I would fuck even 5 year olds and have no reservations about it. I'd fuck 40 year olds. I mostly want to fuck girls in their low/mid-teens though but I'd fuck anything cute with a vagina if I could get away with it.

Anyone else feel the same way?
8 posts and 2 images submitted.
I do man. I wouldn't do it but fuck I'd want to if they'd be up for it and I found them cute
I feel the same way. I don't know if it's a result of loneliness or what but the older and more starved I've gotten, the more my sexual moral compass has disintegrated. I never wanted to fuck kids as a teenager but now as a guy creeping up on 30, I see that cute 9 year old in a skimpy outfit and I'm noticeably aroused by her curvature, her small plump booty, that slender chest, shit man. I feel grossed out even at myself.
>fuck babies
Never thought I would read such degeneracy

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Who here works in an Office? How do you get through the grind?

>tfw I do the most work on my team even though I slack off a bit
>tfw women for the most part are useless in the office because they want to spend the whole day talking
>tfw one girl on my team never sees the FUCKING EMAILS about what she is supposed to do for the day and I have to constantly remind her
>tfw I eat all my lunches alone at my desk but everyone is okay with me because I hide my power level

At least it's the weekend bros, how was your week?
16 posts and 4 images submitted.
I just have to point out that you retail and fast food bots at least see something different every day. I do the same shit, all the time working in my office. Office work is tedious
>that woman who clears her throat all day every day
fuck that shit. ALso, that girl that stutters everytime she talks to you

Daily reminder to all Eurocucks that you will never be born and raised in America, the most superior and most free of all Earth's nations.

How does it feel to know that within decades your nations will be completely overrun by Muslims and Communists?
42 posts and 16 images submitted.
the extent of an american's freedom goes about as far as having the pick of slavemasters
>Says the man who will soon have to pay for a porn licence in order to have a fap
>Says the man who can't tweet something that hurts Muslim fee-fees without being arrested
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>How does it feel to know that within decades your nations will be completely overrun by Muslims and Communists?
Got some bad news for you lad

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Hey robots, I feel like I need to talk to someone.
Could you ask me something?
I'll ask you something in return
42 posts and 5 images submitted.
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You like Phil Collins?
What's up, OP?
Sounds cool, but it isn't really my style.
What about our lord and savior Huey Lewis?

Not much, everything seems boring right now.
How's life going for you?

Just found out my BF cheated on me with this fucking dick. My BF told me he was bisexual but he would never sleep with another guy.. Now he's slept with this.
How do I get over this?
25 posts and 3 images submitted.
hahaha gaha
man what the fuck that sounds messed up, I recently went through a similar thing with my bf and I couldnt believe it when he told me. I thought he was lying because his new bf was called Aman and I thought he was being homphobic
The only way a man would cheat on his gf with another man is if the woman was so pathetic no one would ever want her.

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>tfw overslept for work
>no calls received
>cant call them because I don't have an excuse
What should I do, am I going to lose my job?
pls help
7 posts and 1 images submitted.
>not being such a hard and valuable worker they let the occasional slip up slide.
Tell them you weren't feeling well and apologize.
Just say family emergency.
They won't ask for details because family emergencies are private.
That would only work if you are rarely late for work.

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Supposed to be going over a girls house next week. I think she might like me. What am I supposed to do? I've never been alone with a girl before.
9 posts and 1 images submitted.
Just think what would bill cosby do

Knock her unconscious. Dismember her and dissolve her limbs in a bath tub. Send the head to her parents
Lock her inside with you & set her place on fire. Die together romantically.

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>tfw all these dicks that are getting posted
>you don't have anyone to fap irl
9 posts and 3 images submitted.
fap yourself, you obvious maleposter
>Tfw no friend to jerk off with.
>Tfw no friend to jerk off.
you type that like it's a bad thing

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