Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 4116. page

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Hey robots, I hit a new low today.

> Be me.
> Visiting home because I'm on break
> Had some leftovers in the fridge, Acapulco and half a pizza.
> They were mine and nobody else's.
> Snacked on the Acapulco, but didn't do anything else.
> I leave the house to go get something or another. Can't remember.
> Come back, all the leftovers are gone.
> Not a trace.
>Confront my mother.
> Swears she didn't eat them.
> Asks what happened to them then.
> She goes into a lengthy spiel on how the food in the fridge belongs to everyone.
>Stomp off and then realize I just fought someone over leftover food.
> mfw.

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My mother (4'11") told me the shortest man she would date would have to be at least 5'7".
I don't think she realizes that i'm only 5'4".

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Friendly reminder that you aren't a true robot unless you're a mongrel.
>haha iktfb I'm Scottish and Italian and my grandma's a quarter Cherokee-
Fuck off.

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Put 'em up, roboys.

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Anon, were brother and sister, we should be best friends, we should be close, not living like strangers

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friends mom caught me taking pictures of her
>friends moms boobs hanging out of her low cut shirt
>start snapping photos as im pretending to be on my phone and make small talk
>she puts a blanket over herself to hide her tits
Did she notice? I realize now that the flickering of my phone screen reflecting off me could have given me away and plus i was aiming the camera at her.

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ITT: post your favorite band

Mine is Rainbow

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henlo friendos, you should totally join this server, we got bees and stuff SPwdQE4

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>be a miserable failure for years and years
>can't take just getting a job and gf anymore, have to go way further and become famous and/or rich to overcompensate for the years I've lost

anyone else know this feel?

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>parents left for the week
>use this opportunity to take speed and fap for old time's sake
>already came 6 times, spent 8 of the last 12 hours masturbating, balls ache and cock is beginning to hurt

I used to be able to do 8 hours fapping no break when I was younger, fuck getting old.

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Are you are useless piece of shit? Are you feeling lonely? Join our cozy discord and we'll treat you as a real friend despite of whoever you are.

yBpFVt5

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My friend wrote this when he was drunk or high, plz finish it.

>Teacher Becomes BJ Queen
> My English professor Rebecca was tall, skinny, blonde and wore glasses.
>She was average-looking, really.
>But something about her was kind of sexy.
>I daydreamed about her sucking me off during her long, boring class.
>While on her knees, she wasn't so tall.
>With my massive shaft in her mouth, she wasn't able use big words.
>She was reduced to my whore, and I enjoyed this fantasy.
> The more I beat off to this fantasy at home, the more I wanted it to be reality.
>One day, I found out she lived close by me.
>I decided that it was time to make my fantasy a reality, and one night, I broke into her house.
>"What are you doing?! What do you want from me?!" she screamed.
>"From now on, your life revolves around sucking my cock and swallowing my cum. Understand?" I asked.
>"Why are you doing this to me?" she asked. >She began to sob.
>"Because it's hot," I said.

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I'm just a normal guy with a normal life who browses this board and recently I saw some thread where some guy told people to buy cryptocurrency for easy cash. He said it kept going up and that all you had to do was buy and sell.

Well, I put 5k from my bank account into Ethereum and just waited a few weeks. I bought in around $200 and sold most of it when it went up to $224, mainly because I was nervous about coinbase limiting my withdrawals to 4.5k per week (they couldn't verify my identity for some odd reason).

I kept a little less than 5 ethereum (tokens? I have no idea what they're called) and now the price has gone up to $332. I actually don't feel that bad about it though since I'm not really confident in my abilities to invest and didn't want to lose everything in this. But seriously, now I have an extra few hundred dollars in my bank account for pretty much doing nothing. Coinbase took like 3% in transaction fees but the money I made is still pretty substantial. I'm college educated and I honestly thought the guy posting the cryptocurrency thread was shilling to make the price go up or something. I mean, he could still be but from my perspective his advice made me a little richer for nothing.

I'm planning on going to the mall and buying some new clothes and then maybe going to a bar and buying a round of drinks for everyone. So thanks, Anon, whoever you are, for giving me the opportunity to make a little extra money.

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Is it possible for someone to never recover after cutting ties with a girl you love?

2.5 years in and I'm wondering if there's ever an exit from this rabbithole

What's the longest time you took to completely recover from a big rejection / breakup ?
Is it just a meme that certain people never fully recover ?

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Shakedown, 1979.
Cool kids, never have the time.