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Archived threads in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001 - 4116. page

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You fucking niggers think that being 5'7 is being a manlet ? You don't realize the chance you have you fucking faggots. Try being a 5'2 manlet, I'm suffering, REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
5 posts and 2 images submitted.
You know how guys like super short girls because of the crazy sex positions? It's probably true the other way around, isn't it?
How short was your dad?
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You think being 5'2 is mallet size!

Try being 2'2.

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>be me
>have 3 roastie sisters, so know how they work
>They are into basically everything popular at the time
>Don't really think for themselves on a lot of topics
>They browse Tumblr
>2 have cucked husbands
>Sisters hate me, so have never seen their kids
I'm going to see them at reunion, What do?
2 posts and 1 images submitted.
fuck their husbands lol idk

Hey robots, I hit a new low today.

> Be me.
> Visiting home because I'm on break
> Had some leftovers in the fridge, Acapulco and half a pizza.
> They were mine and nobody else's.
> Snacked on the Acapulco, but didn't do anything else.
> I leave the house to go get something or another. Can't remember.
> Come back, all the leftovers are gone.
> Not a trace.
>Confront my mother.
> Swears she didn't eat them.
> Asks what happened to them then.
> She goes into a lengthy spiel on how the food in the fridge belongs to everyone.
>Stomp off and then realize I just fought someone over leftover food.
> mfw.
5 posts and 1 images submitted.

they were yours not someone else.the bitch of a mom you have deserves it.
FYI, Acapulco is a fancier Chipotle.
>denies something they did
>then passive-aggressively say their actions were ok...but they didn't do it

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My mother (4'11") told me the shortest man she would date would have to be at least 5'7".
I don't think she realizes that i'm only 5'4".
5 posts and 1 images submitted.
>my mother
El ohh el
nah, she definitely knows

Friendly reminder that you aren't a true robot unless you're a mongrel.
>haha iktfb I'm Scottish and Italian and my grandma's a quarter Cherokee-
Fuck off.
4 posts and 3 images submitted.
you can be purebred and a robot. being mixed dramatically increases your chances of being fucking insane though
>Posting a picture of a Hapa
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And? Hapa's are mongrels by nature fuckwit.

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Put 'em up, roboys.
1 posts and 1 images submitted.
No replies in the DB for this post!

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Anon, were brother and sister, we should be best friends, we should be close, not living like strangers
2 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Too late lass,i'm too deep in the pit, once in the pit always in the pit

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friends mom caught me taking pictures of her
>friends moms boobs hanging out of her low cut shirt
>start snapping photos as im pretending to be on my phone and make small talk
>she puts a blanket over herself to hide her tits
Did she notice? I realize now that the flickering of my phone screen reflecting off me could have given me away and plus i was aiming the camera at her.
3 posts and 2 images submitted.
Post the fucking pics you chee sperger
They're not that amazing
But to me they are

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ITT: post your favorite band

Mine is Rainbow
3 posts and 2 images submitted.
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Nice choice OP
Rainbow is my dad's favourite band
gonna have to go with peter gabriel's genesis on this one
just a really comfy, interesting, and fun group

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henlo friendos, you should totally join this server, we got bees and stuff SPwdQE4
1 posts and 1 images submitted.
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>be a miserable failure for years and years
>can't take just getting a job and gf anymore, have to go way further and become famous and/or rich to overcompensate for the years I've lost

anyone else know this feel?
2 posts and 1 images submitted.
Yes very much.

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>parents left for the week
>use this opportunity to take speed and fap for old time's sake
>already came 6 times, spent 8 of the last 12 hours masturbating, balls ache and cock is beginning to hurt

I used to be able to do 8 hours fapping no break when I was younger, fuck getting old.
1 posts and 1 images submitted.
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Are you are useless piece of shit? Are you feeling lonely? Join our cozy discord and we'll treat you as a real friend despite of whoever you are.

1 posts and 1 images submitted.
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My friend wrote this when he was drunk or high, plz finish it.

>Teacher Becomes BJ Queen
> My English professor Rebecca was tall, skinny, blonde and wore glasses.
>She was average-looking, really.
>But something about her was kind of sexy.
>I daydreamed about her sucking me off during her long, boring class.
>While on her knees, she wasn't so tall.
>With my massive shaft in her mouth, she wasn't able use big words.
>She was reduced to my whore, and I enjoyed this fantasy.
> The more I beat off to this fantasy at home, the more I wanted it to be reality.
>One day, I found out she lived close by me.
>I decided that it was time to make my fantasy a reality, and one night, I broke into her house.
>"What are you doing?! What do you want from me?!" she screamed.
>"From now on, your life revolves around sucking my cock and swallowing my cum. Understand?" I asked.
>"Why are you doing this to me?" she asked. >She began to sob.
>"Because it's hot," I said.
5 posts and 2 images submitted.
shameless self bump from the heart of Africa
i didn't read any of it but

>and then everyone ate popcorn and got aids
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So far this story is terrible, just terrible

>"because it's hot," I said.
>her look of fright quickly melted from her face
>she brought her soft red lips to my ear
>"let me slip into something more comfortable..." she whispered, and gently licked my earlobe and down my neck
>she walks over to her closet and shuts the door
>I just couldn't wait to see what she had in store
>suddenly the closet door bursts open
>she is standing there naked with only an American flag bandana tied around her head
>she's holding a fully automatic assault rifle in her arms
>it's pointed right at me
>she unload a full clip of large caliber rounds into my chest, each bullet's thumping impact destabilizing my chest cavity more and more
>eventually I collapse due to the holes that were just torn through my internal organs
>as the world around me fades, she stands over my body
>she opened the door
>I had gone to the floor
>"everybody walk the dinosaur"
>she finished me off with a crushing blow to the head

I'm just a normal guy with a normal life who browses this board and recently I saw some thread where some guy told people to buy cryptocurrency for easy cash. He said it kept going up and that all you had to do was buy and sell.

Well, I put 5k from my bank account into Ethereum and just waited a few weeks. I bought in around $200 and sold most of it when it went up to $224, mainly because I was nervous about coinbase limiting my withdrawals to 4.5k per week (they couldn't verify my identity for some odd reason).

I kept a little less than 5 ethereum (tokens? I have no idea what they're called) and now the price has gone up to $332. I actually don't feel that bad about it though since I'm not really confident in my abilities to invest and didn't want to lose everything in this. But seriously, now I have an extra few hundred dollars in my bank account for pretty much doing nothing. Coinbase took like 3% in transaction fees but the money I made is still pretty substantial. I'm college educated and I honestly thought the guy posting the cryptocurrency thread was shilling to make the price go up or something. I mean, he could still be but from my perspective his advice made me a little richer for nothing.

I'm planning on going to the mall and buying some new clothes and then maybe going to a bar and buying a round of drinks for everyone. So thanks, Anon, whoever you are, for giving me the opportunity to make a little extra money.
2 posts and 1 images submitted.
It's gonna keep going up until more people decide to get out than there are people buying in, then it'll crash 75% because it's a huge speculative bubble. The goods and services traded with eth are not anymore than they were when eth was a tenth of the price. Good job getting out, you don't want to hold it when it crashes

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